| It lacks depth and it's far too disjointed. While there will be an overarching campaign arc it's not something that figures greatly in actual play, therefore I have to superimpose it later, same with character development. The Lost Boys is easy and fun to write, they're that silly- really. The Lost Boys are also more memorable, for me at least, The Goodman Gang (the players) know the rules and how to make the most of their spells, abilities etc. although they're a little head-on at times. The players want to play D&D, the dice rolling game, not hang around in bars and develop their characters, it's a ludology vs narratology debate, the Goodman Gang play because like what they can do, and love the gameplay. The Lost Boys have really very little idea of what the rules are, or their characters full potential, so they overcome the various encounters by shouting as much as stabbing, they've no fear- try convincing a gurning twelve year old that Grand Alf will probably not last long against the assorted Goblins if he tries to "punch them out", or that the Paladin is a fearless warrior and shouldn't, probably, shout "run away", or, "leggit" every other encounter. And the Lost Boys argue, with each other mostly, and while it's frustrating as a DM it's narrative gold because they're making it all up as they go along, and their characters- and their views and opinions, their foibles and and traits are getting bigger and bigger as the game goes on.
I realise that the reason why the Goodman Gang's story sucks, to me, is because we don't have time to do anything else- we meet, we play; by which I mean dive into the scenario, apres a little shopping, the players don't want to do anything else. In game the players talk to each other, it's the only time we see each other, but don't talk in character, or at least very little.
So... I didn't do any updates last week because of time, and because I was thinking of abandoning it for a bad job, I'm not Lazybones, I wish I was though, but prose is not my speciality... which gives me an idea, after this scenario's done (I've already written it to the end), then the next I'm going to try to stand back a little more- we'll see if I can do it. If not I've had another idea for a style change in the scenario after that...
Hey-ho, we'll see.
Thanks for the feedback as always. | 
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