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[Goonalan]

Dungeon Crawl Classic #24
Legend of the Ripper
Level 1-3 (Scaled to level 4)

Turn 55: Things that go Bump in the night.

“What’s that banging?”

Silence for a moment, a perplexed silence.

“It’s me.” Cas’ voice in the dark.
“Shhh… There’s someone at the door.” Ala states.

And so there is, Ala pulls the covers over her and pointedly stares at Cas.

“I’m going then.” Ala nods at the Paladin, she’s not getting up.

Cas stumbles out of the warm bed and into the cold room, grabs a shirt and puts it on, he stalks to the door, opens it an inch.

Crazy Klina pushes it the rest of the way open, she’s not alone, the Innkeeper’s standing there in his nightshirt holding a lantern, Klina’s sobbing still, or is that again?

“Sorry. She’s with me. Church of Pelor business.” The Paladin smiles weakly as the Innkeeper tramps off down the hallway grumbling to himself.

“It’s terrible, so terrible… Who’s she?” Crazy Klina heads for the bed and then notices it’s occupied.
“I’m Ala, who are you?” Ala proffers a hand then suddenly doesn’t seem so sure, “Cas- who’s this?” With as much disdain as she can muster in her voice.
“Ala this is… Sorry, what’s your name?”
“Klina, Crazy Klina.” Klina offers and ticks and sobs.
“Ala this is… ahem Crazy Klina, she’s the… ahem good lady I bumped into this evening, I told you about her earlier.”
“Terrible, oh Cas, it’s so terrible.” Crazy Klina sobs on.
“What is?” Cas stoops and places his arm around the Half-Orc.
She burrows into him, “I found… There was someone there… A body.”
The Half-Orc collapses some more, sobs uncontrollably, Cas comforts her and at the same time turns and mouths at Ala, “Wake the others.”

Thirty minutes later the septet, lead by Klina, are back in The Nunny and staring down at a scene of devastation.

The killer obviously took their time, at the end of the narrow alley is a small courtyard, and in the middle of the courtyard is the body- sprawled on the cobblestones amid weeds and trash. Or what is left of it. Organs have been lined up on the floor, in neat rows. Bits of flesh hang from a clothes line which bisects the area. Two eye balls watch with interest from a window ledge, between them a thick red tongue. The entire courtyard is drenched in blood.

BLEEEUUGH

Jim loses his lunch and staggers out of the alley.

Ala, weeping, quietly heads over to the corpse.

“I’ll get Jim, and the watch.” Anya heads off.

Cas nods. Bec still hasn’t moved. Newt approaches the body cautiously; Klina grips tight to Cas, still sobbing.

“Cas you’ll want to look at this…” Ala turns to look at the Paladin.
“What?”
“Come and see.”

Klina is passed over to Bec, the Paladin approaches the body. Ala shows him what he needs to see- it’s a rather small penis, the corpse is a male, obviously, although the offending organ has been detached. Cas swallows bile, turns swiftly and marches quickly away.

Newt hovers over the corpse, wipes his hands, and then heads into the blood and gore, looking for pockets to search- there’s plenty to find, obviously this wasn’t a robbery.

He heads back to the Paladin, Ala follows the Gnome back, they examine what Newt has found and wait for Anya and Jim to return with the Watch.

Which may take a while, the pair return fifteen minutes later, without the Watch.

“They’re not coming.” Anya offers.
“What?”
“They say that their not going to The Nunny at night, they’ll collect what’s left of the body in the morning.”
“What?” Cas is a little short of apoplexy, only a little mind.
“They said that none of the Watch travel The Nunny in the night.”
“Well that’s not true for a start.” Newt pipes up, and then hands over a bloody Watch badge and official issue billy club.
“So who’s he?” Cas looks back at the corpse.
“Corporal Klean.” Klina is bent over the body; she’s cleaned the blood away from the face.
“Who’s Corporal Klean, and why’s he here then?”
“We kall im Corporal Punishment, he cums dawn ere tew… tew ave is way, he’s a bastud, a durty viowlent bastud.”

PAH

Crazy Klina spits on the corpse, “Gud riddance, tha’s wha I sez.”

“I thought this guy just killed women?” Jim adds.
“How very odd, it seems all is not as it first appears.” Anya states.
“Strange that.” Bec chips in then regrets it, the rest of the Gang turn to stare, to see if he has anything else to say, Bec shrugs, and keeps schtum.

“I’ll stay here and wait for the Watch, they can’t be long now, the suns almost up- the rest of you get some sleep, we’ll meet at St. Jimbo’s do some digging. We’re coming back out here tonight so make sure you’re fresh.” Cas states.

The gang and Klina head off, Ala with a last kiss for her man.

“And Jim, make sure Klina gets home safely. Klina why don’t you meet us at St. Jimbo’s, Father Whiskin may have some jobs that need doing- I don’t want to see you out here again, understand.”

Klina nods, whispers “he’s so brave” to Jim, and heads off with the Ranger.

Afternoon sees the group gathered again in St. Jimbo’s, Klina has been hired as a cleaner for the Church, Cas has set aside some money to pay her wages, actually enough to keep her employed for the next six months. Farmer Giles potters about the place too, he’s much recovered, although maudlin- what with his family being slaughtered, he helps out where he can.

“I know bits of the story”, Father Whiskin begins, “it all started a very long time ago, in The Nunny, five murders I think- all of them ladies of the night, their bodies dismembered, eviscerated, the organs, eyes and tongues removed.”
“Who was it?” Jim enquires.
“Nobody knows, the murders just stopped, no one was ever caught.”
“Do you think it could be happening again, the same person?” Anya asks.
“I doubt it, the first murders happened over 100 years ago, what I do know is the last victim lived very near the place you found that body last night, near some run down Inn, I don’t know the name of the place. But I know a Gnome who will, Soloman, our oldest worshipper, he’s lived in Grimbo for nearly 200 years, I’ll go and see him this evening. We should meet up tomorrow; I should have the answer by then.”

Suddenly there’s a crashing noise from the Chapel, the gang and father Whiskin rush to find out what’s going on.

Crazy Klina backs towards the altar, she’s waving about the remains of a six foot long pew- which must weigh a couple of hundred pounds. On the floor of the Chapel is a soldier of the Grimbo Watch, bleeding from a head wound. There are three other soldiers, and behind them a familiar figure, it’s Major Khan.

“How dare you violate this holy place…” Father Whiskin begins.
“We caught this harlot with a silver candlestick in her hands.” The Major volunteers.
“This is Klina, the cleaner.” Cas strides over to the Half-Orc and takes the pew from her hands, nearly fumbles it, it’s bloody heavy.
“Ah. That explains it.” Khan offers, then as quick as lightning, “Sorry good lady, a thousand apologies, I will see it to it that this foolish soldier is punished for his transgressions. Father Whiskin my apologies to you also, please understand we thought this woman was about to make off with Church property. And now Lord Casimir La Frond, could I perhaps have a word, in private.”

Khan wanders off heading towards the nave, and a quiet corner.

“Watch him.” Ala offers, Cas winks and heads off after Khan.

Khan is waiting for the Paladin, he starts up straight away.

“I want this fiend as much as you, The Nunny is a very dangerous place, particularly if you’re wearing a uniform. The Watch would therefore like to grant you temporary membership until this task is complete, plain clothes of course, you will have access to information, men and other resources, we will also pay your expenses for the duration of this investigation, there is also a 500 Gold Piece bounty on the killer’s head. In short Casimir la Frond we are at your service.”

Major Khan bows low, and comes up smiling, leaving the Paladin momentarily speechless.

Twenty minutes later the gang are back in Father Whiskin’s office.

“So what did you say?” Newt asks.
“I told him to shove it where the sun don’t shine.”
“Pelor forgive us.” Father Whiskin crosses himself.
“You said no to money?” Newt’s ears are playing up.
“Cas…” Ala begins.
“Then I said yes, well sort of, well to everything except the Watch bit- so we’ve got access, and resources, and the money Newt, but we’re not members of the bloody Watch.”
“What did he say?” Jim enquires.
“He said yes, very quickly… too quickly, I can’t help feeling I’ve given them what they want somehow. He asked to be kept informed of the investigation; I said I would prepare a short report for him each day. Then he grabbed my hand, grinned and shook it hard, to seal the deal he said, he seemed awfully pleased.”

The assembled crowd nod.

“We’ll meet back in the Inn at ten, till then rest and relaxation- if you need it, otherwise do some more digging, Anya, I hope you don’t mind but I’ve fixed it for you to go and see the Watch Sergeant in Nuns Corner, find out who the victim was?”
Anya nods and smiles.
“I’ll go with her.” Jim puts his hand up, and then remembers he’s not eight any more, “if that’s ok with you Anya?”
Anya, once again, nods and smiles.

Some time later, in the same chamber Cas so recently found himself answering to Grimbo City Council, Major Khan stands, to all intents and purposes, in the witness box.

“He accepted, with one clause.”
“Yes?” The voice is gruff, used to being obeyed.
“They don’t want to be members of the City Watch.”
“All the privileges and none of the responsibilities, he saw you coming Major Khan; I expect you laid down the law?”
“No… That is… Yes, well… I accepted his offer. I figured…”
“WHAT?”
“Sir, I was only doing what I was told, at any price, that’s what I was told.”
“YOU GAVE HIM EVERYTHING?”
“Yes… Sir, it’s what I was told…”
“Good.”
“What sir?”
“I said good Major Khan, you have done well.”

The sound of a chair scraping against the floor, being pushed back, then nothing… Silence, it draws out.

“Sir… Sir, can I go?”

But Major Khan is alone.

Funny he doesn’t remember the sound of a door opening, or closing.

Next Turn: The X-Files