It allows you to search the
messageboards, send and receive private messages, give yourself a
custom usertitle, turn ads on or off, create a custom style for your
profile, get a nifty badge under your username, and gives you a special
warm glowy feeling! Oh, and it gets rid of this annoying message, too!
And thus, I present my version of Orc and Pie as told by Dr. Seuss:
DM Seuss: Would you fight an orc for pie?
Krusk: I will not fight an orc for pie, I do not fight him, Krusk am I.
DM Seuss: Would you fight him in a cave? Would you fight him with a stave?
Krusk: I would not fight him in a cave, I would not fight him with a stave. I will not fight the orc for pie, I will not fight him, Krusk am I.
DM Seuss: Would you fight him with a troll, would you score a critical roll?
Krusk: I would not fight him with a troll, I would not score a critical roll, I would not fight him in a cave, I would not fight him with a stave.
DM Seuss: Would you fight him in a moat? Would you fight him on a goat?
Krusk: Not in a moat, not on a goat, not with a troll, no critical roll. I will not fight the orc for pie, I will not fight him, Krusk am I.
DM Seuss: Would you, could you, in a bar? Fight him, fight him, here he are!
Krusk: I would not, could not in a bar.
DM Seuss: You may fight him, before you sleep, you may fight him in a keep!
Krusk: I would not, could not in a keep. Not in a bar, you let me sleep! I will not fight the orc for pie, I will not fight him, Krusk am I!
DM Seuss: A mace, a mace, a mace, a magic mace! Could you would you for a magic mace?
Krusk: Not for a mace, not in a keep, not in a bar, just LET ME SLEEP! I will not fight the orc for pie, I will not fight him, Krusk Am I.
DM Seuss: Say! With a spell? Blast with a spell? Would you, could you with a spell?
Krusk: I would not could not with a spell.
DM Seuss: Would you, could you in extradimensional space?
Krusk: I would not, could not in extradimensional space, not with a spell, not for a mace. I will not fight this orc for pie, I will not fight him, Krusk Am I!
DM Seuss: Would you, could you for a gem?
Krusk: I would not, could not for a gem.
DM Seuss: Would you fight him with other men?
Krusk: I would not could not for a gem, I would not fight with other men. I will not fight this orc for pie, I will not fight him, Krusk am I.
DM Seuss: You may not fight them, so you say, just roll, just roll, and you may! Just roll, just roll, you may, I say!
Krusk: Bah! If you will let me be, I will fight them. You will see.
Say! I do like fighting orc for pie! I do. I'll fight him, Krusk am I!
I will fight him with other men.
And I will fight him for a gem.
And I will fight him in extradimensional space.
And with a spell.
And for a magic mace.
And in a keep.
And in a bar.
This is fun! Forget about sleep!
So I will fight him with a troll.
And I will make a critical roll.
And I will fight him on a goat.
And I will fight him in a moat.
And I will fight him in a cave.
And I will fight him with a stave.
I will fight, its blood I crave!
I do so like fighting orcs for pie! Thank you, thank you!
Krusk am I.
For those not in on the joke, this doodle was done in response to Akunin's Challenge on Nutkinland:
"It's a very simple game, really. Post in the style of someone famous (actor, writer, musician, whatever) running Monte Cook's adventure "The Orc and the Pie". You may have your celebrity running the adventure under any RPG system, and can make the Orc something genre-specific."
Please note, this thread is not part of ENworld and does not adhere to the Eric's Grandmother policy. Viewer discretion is strongly advised.
I didn't know how to attach an image file over there ( I usually stay over her where the entertainment is good clean family fun ;-) ) so I posted it here with a link from there.
Doomsdaisy's Dr. Seuss post over there was what inspired me to do this doodle, so I'm very appreciative for the repost here.
Er, note, if you want to participate in Akunin's Challenge and vie for the Mystery prize, please post your submission on the Nutkinland board rather than here. The folks over there won't know to look here.
Unless, of course, you want to add an image here with a link to it over there. That would be cool with me.
Note, the Eric's Grandmother rule does continue to apply here, especially since I have a toddler (aka: the Scampering Chaos)who likes to log in to see Mommy's pictures on line, and frequently asks me to explain what's going on in the pictures.
tSC: "Tell me the Once Upon a Time!"
Me:"What?"
tSC: "Tell me the Once Upon a Time!"
Me: "You want me to tell you what's going on in the picture?"
tSC: "Yeah!"
ME: "Umm. There's this orc, and, uh, he has a pie. And, uh, there's these other guys, the Adventurers, and they don't have a pie. And they want the orc's pie. I don't know what happens after that."
tSC (grapsing the crux of tha matter immediately): "But he doesn't want to share his pie!"
Me: "Um. No. He doesn't. So what do you think should happen?"
tSC: (silence)
Me: "Maybe the Adventurers could ask nicely 'Please can we have some pie?'"
tSC: (being the orc) "'No.'"
Me: "Umm. They could beat him up and take his pie?"
tSC:"That wouldn't be very nice."
Me: "Uh, no. It wouldn't."
tSC: "The pig should say 'Stop! No taking my pie!'"
Me: 'Well, it would be nice if he shared his pie with everybody. Then they could all be friends. There's plenty of pie, he can't eat it all by himself."
tSC: "'No. He doesn't want to share his pie."
Me: (sighing) "Right. Sometimes the pie is very special and the orc doesn't have to share it. The Adventurers all go home hungry and get some flour and sugar and cherries of their own and make their own pie. And they share it with eat other and all have a good time together, and the orc sits and eats his by all by his lonesome and gets a tummyache."
tSC: (satisfied) "Right. And they all live happily ever after."
It dawns on me that the Boynton Orc and Pie Picture could be a sort of Children's Thematic Aperception Test. (Hey, it's no weirder than the standard TAT pictures.)
Mr. Mythago and I were laughing ourselves sick over the Scampering Chaos dialogue and imagining our own spawns' reactions to the picture.
Oldest Child: "One of the adventurers could cast Magic Missile to distract the orc, then they could steal the pie and sneak off and eat it! Hee hee!"
Middle Child: "They should nicely tell the orc to share. And then he would share his pie and they would all have a piece and be very very happy."
Youngest Child: "Give me pie pleeeeese! Mine! Faink you pie."
pop D&D quiz: what are the alignments of the above persons?
__________________ When God hands you a gift, he also hands you a whip; and the whip is intended for self-flagellation solely. --Truman Capote
Last edited by mythago; 16th May 2002 at 11:37 AM..
I'm bumping this,
Otherwise I'd be remiss.
It's a chance for you to enjoy,
No reason to play coy.
Just remember to reply,
In honor of Sialia's Orc & Pie.
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