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I hate elves

Posted 23rd July 2008 at 10:59 AM by Graf
Updated 24th July 2008 at 03:57 AM by Graf
The 4th edition Living EnWorld project has consumed me recently.

It really bangs on a few of my obsessions. One in particular: matching OOC reality with IC game structure -- something about which I should probably actually produce a coherent post.

Anyway, I hate elves. Or rather, I loath the way they're they're presented as near flawless super humans who never do anything. [warning: link to nigh incoherent post containing following spoiler block]

My bias against superheroic elves that don't do anything

Here's my bias: Elves in 1e, 2e, 3e, tolkien, FR, Greyhawk,etc etc are basically superheroes.
They're humans,
  • with magical powers
  • superior grace and intelligence
  • an elevated society who live in tune with nature,
  • are all physical beautiful,
  • are masters of arcane magic (usually the "original masters" who taught everybody else)
  • the best swordsmen ever
  • the best archers
  • the best woodsmen
  • ultrawise
  • live forever.
  • they have a long glorious history
  • may come from some special magical land or live in a special magical land,
  • and on
  • and on
  • and on

They rarely have anything that could be called a negative trait and when they do it's not something I think of as being important. (they're short, or their ancestors did something bad, or they have a low birthrate, or they're a little bit fragile).

Or their race is dying. Not that they actually die, that would be lame, elves are cool.
Elves travel to some magical elf-only heaven that's conveniently located on earth instead (usually some far off island). Occasionally, if you save the world you can go live with them. But if you're an elf (any elf) you get in to paradise-on-earth for free.

And yet they never really do anything in a fantasy setting. They just sit around on their crystal thrones at the edge of their magical woods with their hand crafted talking swords and look beautiful. Occasionally rare elf gets off their duff and does something (usually a PC, legolas, or a plot enabler, elron).
Or one of their pretty little elf girls falls in love with a protagonist human (like half of all fantasy novels ever).

I find this profoundly meh.
4e tried to tackle this by "splitting" the elves.


Elves: the roving bands of nature worshippers. I think is just a stronger concept; provided you're willing to make their nature worshiping a specific cultural thing. They live for ever and, as a group, they may be the most dangerous foe you could have, but they don't act as a group or get together or form nations because it's against their culture. (And they live for so long that their culture/religion/etc is very very strong)

Eladrin: you have what's left; the arcane intelligent otherworldy superhumans (in the vein of the elves Aerenal from eberron).
I get a sort of creepy alien vibe from them.

So what do these otherworldy superhumans do when they come to live amongst the humans? They make their own little empire, the Imperium.

I'd like it if we could have a group of eladrin who immigrated to the Imperium and dominated it. I love the idea of a democracy that is built on the rule of law and debate and high culture but isn't really democratic because these 300 year old jerks are camped out there.
I love the idea that, while they aren't evil, being really really old and really wise makes you somewhat callous about the lives of "lesser" creatures.
And, of course, the most callous people begin to accumulate the greatest power.

I'm not saying that all eladrin come from the Imperium, but I would like to have it as a group in the world. They offer an interesting threat/challenge.


Of all the published settings I've dealt with I think Eberron tends to handle it the best.

Of course I prefer my tack. Keep 'em as superhumans, with very human failings.

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  1. Old
    Jürgen Hubert's Avatar
    Heh. I know how you feel. And I'm curious - have you ever taken a look at Urbis?

    In it, the "background assumption" I've come up with for elves is that they are basically the results of some transhumanist experiments by an ancient group of wizards - which explains the "we are so much better than you" thing the elves have going on for them. After all, their abilities are the direct result of a wish fulfillment trip of a group of humans!

    I've also made sure that each of the three major elven kingdoms in the setting is messed up in its own way:
    • Avareen; The eladrin "nobles" are beginning to outnumber the "commoner" elves, with rather embarrassing results for the class structure of the place.
    • Narevoreen: Used to be a Elven Island Paradise in the West (TM), but after its navy was defeated by human invaders, it is now going through its own equivalent of the Japanese Meji Restoration...
    • Tuvareen: The ruling eladrin nobility faces eventual extinction since they were all cursed with sterility, and are now panicking - with rather unpleasant results for anyone nearby.


    My goal here was to use all the common stereotypes about elves - while subverting them at the same time and making them more interesting. I hope I have succeeded.
    permalink
    Posted 23rd July 2008 at 11:44 AM by Jürgen Hubert Jürgen Hubert is offline
  2. Old
    Graf's Avatar
    Interesting, both the Avareen and the Narevoreen remind me of Japan. (obviously the Avareen connection is fairly explicit).

    Narevoreen --> The tokugawa period saw a massive rise in the number of samurai; not convenient since they didn't make anything (and didn't really have any fighting to do).

    I know I've seen the tendency to poach from Japan when looking for "alternative societies"






    I've peeked here and there at Urbis. As I mentioned in one of the comments on your blog you've been working on it forever (forever=the dawn of enworld).

    Actually I'm in a slight bit of a bind. If I recall correctly there are certain similarities between Urbis, and the current LEW Transitive Isles proposal.

    (maybe, I haven't read it; the tech levels are completely different but I realized when I was proposing that isolates/islands could be "magical cities linked by portals" that I was channeling some specific half-memory)

    People really seem to want to "create our own setting" so I guess I feel compelled to respect that and not (deliberately) poach.
    permalink
    Posted 24th July 2008 at 04:17 AM by Graf Graf is offline
 
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