Never Enough Time
Posted 28th December 2008 at 05:12 AM by HeavenShallBurn
My father is dying, I've known that for almost half a year. Yes he was diagnosed with a form of cancer that that usually can't be fought back into remission, but all the doctors told my family he probably had a year or two left. All along I've known they were wrong, because for the past half a year my father has reeked of death. You could smell death on him and around him, even his sweat smelled like Death. I've known he didn't have nearly as long as the doctors said. And I've avoided telling anyone in my family, partly because it was his place to tell them and not mine, partly because I wanted to spare my mother the pain as long as I could. She was already taking things so hard.
But today after taking him to the ER with some breathing problems the doctors finally found what they'd been missing all along, what's been making him smell like death. His cancer had spread into his lungs from his neck unnoticed by the doctors and he has two very large, very malignant tumors. I don't expect him to live much longer. I accept this, death isn't a stranger to me, what matters is how we spent the time we had.
I don't really post here much anymore, just lurk a bit. But don't expect to see me around here for a while. Things are going to be rough, and arrangements will need to be made. What I really feel I need to say is this could be any one of you. You're family could find itself right where I am. Don't waste a single moment, never look back, never regret. Just live and do not hesitate to let your loved ones know they are loved. They could be gone just like that and leave you without a chance to say or do the things you should have.
But today after taking him to the ER with some breathing problems the doctors finally found what they'd been missing all along, what's been making him smell like death. His cancer had spread into his lungs from his neck unnoticed by the doctors and he has two very large, very malignant tumors. I don't expect him to live much longer. I accept this, death isn't a stranger to me, what matters is how we spent the time we had.
I don't really post here much anymore, just lurk a bit. But don't expect to see me around here for a while. Things are going to be rough, and arrangements will need to be made. What I really feel I need to say is this could be any one of you. You're family could find itself right where I am. Don't waste a single moment, never look back, never regret. Just live and do not hesitate to let your loved ones know they are loved. They could be gone just like that and leave you without a chance to say or do the things you should have.
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