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The Making of the Mentalist - Or How I Got Published For The Very First Time.

Posted 25th June 2009 at 02:18 AM by Jack99

Sometime last fall, I decided to write some small reviews about the 4e products that I bought. I am not even sure why I got that idea, but as it turns out, it had some very interesting consequences.

Now, I have always been a honest (some would say blunt) person, so that was naturally reflected in my reviews. I am sure a lot of people do not like it, whereas others like it. One of those was Angellis_ater from Dreamscarred Press. I gave his first 4e product a fairly poor (read abysmal) review, but instead of taking it personally, he reached out and asked for advice (fool! ). 4e was very new for him, and he wanted someone to give him feedback on the crunch he was going write for a reskinning of the cleric class that he was going to write.

I must admit, that at this point, I had never seen myself as being anything else than a DM, let alone as someone helping creating a product that would see the light of the day. I did however initially take his question a bit as a dare (Sure, it's easy to review and tell other people what they make it crap, but can you actually do better?). Maybe it was. I still do not know. I haven't gotten around asking him yet.

Anyway, soon after (this was around January), I found myself knees deep in what would become the Ardent. I am actually credited as editor in the release, but that's exaggerating a lot. I merely looked and helped some on the crunch, the balance of the powers. I had no say in how things were done or how the powers were written. I simply told him if I thought things got way too wacky and non-balanced. Needless to say, I found myself having lots of fun, but I felt the same as I feel when I play D&D - I hated not being in control, which is probably why I always end up DM'ing Well, it's not exactly true that I only "fixed" crunch, I did contribute with more, namely some defining mechanics which also are used for the Mentalist, but that's another matter altogether.

Some weeks passed, and I was beginning to get more and more emails from various publishers who wanted help or more detailed info on the crunch issues I had picked up while reading their products; so that they could incorporate it in the errata. I figured I was on to something at least, and (I must admit) my ego got slightly inflated because of it. It's always nice when people you "look up to" ask your advice on matters that interest you.

A some point around March 2009, I convinced myself that I was actually some sort of an expert on 4e - and I promptly pitched the mentalist to Dreamscarred Press. I knew that the Psion wouldn't see the light of day until the PHB 3 at the very least, which was slated to the summer of 2010. So I figured I would make my own class, and maybe there would be some interest from the psionic fans so that at least we would have something until the official version came out. Now, as it turns out, I was right about the PHB3 - but not about the release date, but that is a different matter.

Dreamscarred Press liked my pitch and soon enough, I had a contract in hand. My deadline was May 1st. And so I started. At first, it was called the psionicist . Not really original, but it was a start. I was making good progress, and was happy with what I had. This is so simple I remember thinking, why on earth aren't more people doing it. Then again, that was just me ignoring I had absolutely no fluff for neither the class, nor the powers. Merely a collection of 1d6+ int, push 3 squares. 1d10 close burst 5, immobilize and daze all targets, etc. I was merely deluding myself into thinking I was almost done. After all, the crunch is the important part, right?

When I sent in the first draft, Angellis_ater replied: Hey Chris, this look good, but you know how you made a class that is really two classes (I had around half the powers being mindblade/soulknife powers). That won't work! Then he went on about thematic issues and lot of other things I had never thought about, and I found myself nodding like a preschooler. The man had some good points. And he understood the class and the history of the class. Much better than I. Back to the drawing board.

The next version was all psychic or force based. I was very happy with that too, but when we went over it, we noticed that one fire power. Seemed a little out of place. Also, there were a lot of powers that just looked alike. The focus of the class was just too narrow. Again, back to the drawing board. More fire! Meanwhile, May 1st was getting closer.

This is when I ran into my biggest problem - time and feedback. I had written a draft and sent to Dreamscarred Press so that we could talk about things and see where we would go from here. But two weeks later, not a word. Time was ticking (or so I felt) and I was getting impatient (yeah, I am not a patient man). At first, I was worried that they hated it and just couldn't decide how they would tell me. Then I thought that maybe it was so awesome that they were in the process of copying it and releasing it without my name on it (I still hadn't signed and sent the contract). Then I realized I was being silly and figured they really hated it. As it turns out, it was neither. my editor had simply been busy and besides, two weeks is not an unusual amount of time to wait for some good feedback, at least not when you are dealing with small companies. Also he had tried to catch a hold of me via google chat, but since I had never used it before, and always have the sound turned off, I never noticed anything... Phew, I was happy and positive once again.

I got some awesome feedback and a lot of great suggestions on how to improve the Mentalist (who was still called something else at this point) and immediately went to work. Two days later (around April 1st), I had in hand what I thought was a really nice draft. I sent it in and waited. And waited. And waited. 3 weeks later and not a word. I had roughly one week left on my deadline, and all the paranoia came back. Maybe there was something in the contract that I had misunderstood. Maybe this was payback for the lousy review. They were going to drag things along so that I wouldn't be able to meet the deadline, and then using some ridiculous US law from 1824, they would sue my ass for a gazillion dollar. Yeah, I never claimed to be a 100% sane

As it turns out, my editor had been sick as a dog for weeks, which explained the delay. Once again, I got some great feedback that really improved the class. However, just as I thought I was pretty much done, my editor said something like: "The powers are great, and so are the two builds, but I feel they should be even more different. We need to link the builds to the type of area of the powers to a greater extend..." Which almost made me cry. And I never cry. I mean, I had spent a lot of time carefully balancing every single power (at least I thought so). Having to change the area of effect of about half of them would mean countless rounds of re-balancing. And I had 8 days left until the deadline.

Luckily for me, it wasn't that bad. I was pretty happy with the result after only 4 days, which left me plenty of time for me to make feats, paragon paths and magic versions of our brand new implement, the psicrystal.

I turned in the final draft of the Mentalist on April 29th. Or so I thought. It was still not ready. Back and forth it went between my editor and I, and finally, on May 17th, we were both satisfied. It was sent for proof-reading and layout. And then nothing.

Now, many of my frustrations come from lack of knowledge of the business and wrong expectations. I also tend to forget that other people also have a life besides RPGs and they also need sleep. In my mind, it couldn't take long to proofread my stuff, and then slap it together with some pictures and make it into a PDF. Yeah right. I got wiser.

Writing the Mentalist has taught me a good deal of things. First of all, it has taught me that crunch isn't everything, and that fluff and thematic consistency is just as important when making a complete class. This process also taught me to be patient, and that while I might want people to stay up all night in order to give me feedback so that I can get back to work when I have the time just isn't realistic. But most of all, it has taught me that it is much easier criticising others people work. Creating yourself can be quite a bitch, especially when it's not only "for your eyes only". I also learned that I will never ever be a freelancer for anything but the fun and joy of making stuff that others will use, because the pay is horrendous, no matter how sweet a deal you cut. I also learned that while I have a solid grasp on 4e rules, it takes a lot more to make a balanced, interesting class, along with the 80 odd powers, paragon paths, feats and whatever else follows.

But now, finally, after several rounds of sickness, crashing hard-drives, layout problems and a lot more, the Mentalist is just about ready. There is a preview (attached below) exclusive to ENworld, and I can't wait to hear what people think about it.

I hope you like it

Cheers

Attached Files

DSPPP0003- The Mentalist Levels 1-3.pdf (435.0 KB, 156 views)

Posted in Rants and Reviews

Views 585 Comments 3

Comments

1. 	As I said in the forum - you did a bang up job on this Chris and we're very proud to have you aboard. One day we hope that both of us can make a living writing, if we so choose
   	Posted 25th June 2009 at 08:10 AM by Angellis_ater

2. Reviewing the Preview Hiya Jack, So, as an aspiring writer myself, I love to get feedback on my work. Thus, I feel obligated to do the same for others. As my basis for this feedback, I'm comparing the class to established D&D controllers; namely the druid, invoker, and wizard classes. I'll sort it into categories to make for easier reading. This will be a thorough critique, so feel free to ignore anything you deem isn't relevant to the topic. Class Traits Role: Controller is a bit harder than most roles to flesh out because it can effectively feel like other roles without trying just by having the kind of powers it does. With that in mind, I'll go into more detail on different powers later. Power Source: I'm left a little wanting here. As somebody who's never read a dreamscarred press book, I have no idea what a phrenic class is. An explanation of the source like other published classes have would have been appreciated. Off hand, though, I'm thinking it is probably a derivative of psionic since that power source has yet to be defined by WotC, and thus unaccessible through the SRD. Key Abilities: Int, Cha, and Con are decent choices for this class, given its flavor. They also feel good working with the invoker and wizard, and not so much the druid (the latter of which is fine since it's more focused on the mind than the body). Armor, Weapons, Implements, and Defenses: These feel right; again, given the class description and how you want to portray it. The weapons are a little clunky in their wording, but somebody can piece it together with some effort. No mention of what psicrystals are, so I assume they're a generic (read held) magic implements like wands. Hit points, etc: With the combination of cloth and low hit points, this class really doesn't want to get into the thick of things (a'la the wizard). It's something a person building a character will pay attention to when picking powers later. Skills: A small list to choose from will make it more difficult for a mentalist to participate in skill challenges; the addition of diplomacy and the auto-insight training is a great counter to this. Over all, very nice here. Background Information: I enjoyed the variety of spin on the backgrounds. Each option fits well enough. Apart from grammar and formatting gripes (personal gripe, not a part of the class review), they're wonderful. Class Features Creation Options: Glad to see these included; but there are mechanical explanations at the end of them instead of in the actual class features. This can cause trouble for some who don't tend to read the suggested builds. Devotions: = 2 wizard cantrips, if I'm not mistaken. Not an issue, just a note. It strikes me as odd that only either is available to certain builds and not both. Flavor-wise, I can see it, but it seems like there's too much mechanical involvement where there doesn't need to be here; if you get what I mean. Focus Surges and Meditate: At first I tilted my head over these. I really wanted to cry "paperwork," but I did take another look. On closer inspection, it feels less convoluted to give the class a higher number of healing surges per day (like 10 + Con or Cha) and let them apply Charisma instead of Constitution modifier. The actual focus surge feature seems like it could be done more as fluff than mechanics. A similar, but more on par effect (with other classes) would be to allow them to recharge psifocus when they use second wind. That gives them the HP and +2 all defenses (standard) plus recharge (class feature). It also becomes one less standard action they have to sacrifice once per encounter when they could be using it to attack. Force of Will, Focus Blast, and Lingering Fire: As I noted above, these have no mechanical explanation in them and somebody who doesn't read the build suggestions is left to assume you get them all. I might suggest switching the last line(s) of the builds with these descriptions; to fall more in line with the format used in most classes. There is also no mention of Psifocus anywhere as a feature except in powers. Features and At-Will Powers PsiFocus: No mention of this above, so the uninformed will (depending on their natural tendancies) either assume it's automatic or ignore it because nothing they read tells them they get it. The reroll mechanic is a reasonable inclusion, if uncommon on PC powers. Force of Will, Forceful Blast, and Lingering Fire: This may seem redundant reading form top to bottom, but at a glance, I'd rather note it again than have it be missed. These could use a little more clarification of how they are granted to the character. Specifically in the power description, maybe a requirement of a certain build (empath/kineticist). At-wills: All fine and balanced, considering the expenditure of your focus to enhance them. Encounter Powers Quick note, this is where I feel a controller is better defined, even compared to at-wills and dailies. Generally, at-wills are the back up powers, so they lean toward striker anyway with a kiss of controller, and dailies tend to be either bursty or a hard choice. Encounters are used more often (at least in the groups I've ran/played with) than others, so they fill out a role better. Okay, ending the rant now. Forceful Retort and Solid Air: "Knocked prone until the end of your next turn," makes no sense, mechanically. I know what it's trying to say, but if somebody not so versed in 4-ese picked up the class, they could be confused. Can the target not stand up until after the end of your next turn (can use move action for something else), or does it fall back down if it tries to stand (loses move action)? Telekinetic Barrage: This is not too powerful to let the augment use the full Constitution modifier. If anything, it's less clunky. Burning Rings: I only nitpick here because I do this a lot when I write powers. I keep putting additional. Extra is smaller and more readily understood by younger players. On a positive note, I like how this power makes you really decide if you want to augment it (allies be damned) to deal the extra damage or wait for a time when there are fewer allies in the area. Other Encounter Powers: Good flavor and mechanics in all. Daily Powers Charm: Good power. Clear and concise. Invasion: The augment as one-half Constitution modifier is better deserved here than the above encounter power where I mentioned such a penalty/bonus. Going with the above suggestion on using healing surges instead of focus surges, you can reword this to say recharge your psifocus and gain a +2 bonus to your Will defense until the start of your next turn. This keeps the original idea of the meditation, but rolls it in as a power benefit instead of its own action. Disjoint Brain: See "Invasion" above for my rant on spending the focus surge. Otherwise, an interesting power. Another that makes you choose when to augment because you may decide you want to spare your allies. Kinetic Storm: Again, a good place to include the scaling one-half Con penalty. Utility Powers Link: "can communicate telepathically" is not explained. Somebody without the eberron players guide will have no idea what it means; and those with it will wonder if the telepathy is within the 20 squares or some other unmentioned number. Also, "all chosen allies" is a little strange. I guess there could be a time when you wouldn't want to include one in your allies in the conversation, but then I'd just rephrase it to "You and any number of allies in burst." The other utilities: These are fine from what I can tell. If you've survived this long, thank you for giving me your time, and for writing a pretty cool class. I have to say, it does whet my appetite to consider purchasing the book it is in. I'll keep an eye out for it.

   Posted 25th June 2009 at 08:57 AM by malcolm_n

3. 	Hi Malcolm. I am glad you liked the Mentalist, and I wanted to thank you for the review. You made a lot of good points, and if you ever purchase the final product, you will see that many of the clarity issues have been dealt with, because of your suggestions.
   	Posted 25th June 2009 at 11:17 PM by Jack99

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