12 Cheaters and how to identify them.
Cheats come in all shapes and sizes in gaming. If you've played games for any length of time you've run into at least one of these cheaters at some point in your gaming career. Knowing their tactics is the first step in identifying and combating them at your game table. With that in mind here are 12 types of game cheats and the tactics they employ.
The Adjuster
The Adjuster never seems to have things quite right on the board. Maybe his playing piece is sitting half-way between two spaces accidentally. “Oh, look,” he says in the spirit of fairness, “my piece moved and I don't remember exactly where it was.” He then takes the piece and sets it firmly on the most advantageous choice of the two. It doesn't take long before he's adjusting it again and, by the end of the game, he's technically moved a dozen spaces ahead of where he should be by correct roll. Even worse is when the piece in question is on the scoring track. That's good for 15 extra points if no one is paying attention. You spend a lot of time after the game ends trying to work out exactly how he managed to score so many points with only three connecting cities and an asthmatic train. The kicker is, he'll also help you adjust your piece if it happens to slip off a space. Except backwards.
The Phantom Mover
Almost like The Adjuster, The Phantom Mover, if not watched carefully, will simply pick up his piece and set it back down somewhere he likes. It'll be close to, but not quite exactly, where his piece started. Maybe only one space ahead, often two or more; you'll look down at the board only to realize that he's suddenly in the lead, and not just by a little bit, either. Heads will turn, you'll eye one another, but none of you will be quite sure that something is wrong and you certainly have no proof unless someone is tracking every turn of the game. Sometimes the Phantom Mover accomplishes this trick simply by miscounting the number of spaces he moves. If a 4 comes up on the die, for instance, you have to watch and listen very carefully to realize that he counted 5 spaces instead of four. If caught, he'll just claim a miscount, put the piece where everyone says he should be and then try it again the next time.
The Phantom Roller
The Phantom Roller is more often seen in RPGs, but crops up in board games as well. He is a master of illusion and could have quite the career on the Vegas magic circuit. You'll swear you see him roll properly, you'll even believe the dice have actually tumbled upon striking the table top, but under no circumstances has this actually happened. Instead, the dice are rolled in such a way that they slide when they land keeping a very specific face pointed upwards. On d20s this is always the 20 face, but in board games it can be any face that produces the most desired result. Need to roll an 8 to produce a couple of brick in Catan? Rest assured the Phantom Roller can produce exactly that when it matters most. He doesn't do this all the time. That would be too obvious, but the frequency with which he gets just what he needs is almost uncanny. It takes a sharp eye to catch him, and, just when you think you've got him dead to rights, he'll 'notice' a bad roll himself and re-roll it 'to be fair'.
The Lord of the Dice
Bow low before the Lord of the Dice, for you are in the presence of a master. At least, he thinks you are. Again, this guy crops up in RPGs more often than board games, but look out anyway. His hands move like lightning and, even with your best efforts, you never quite see what it is he just rolled. The dice will hit the table, but, just before they come to rest and everyone can get a good look at them, his hand whips out with snake-like speed and gathers them up again as he announces the result. “18!” he says, and what choice do you have but to believe him? You can ask him to let the dice land fully before picking them up again, and he will. For about four rolls before he goes right back to it.
The Board Jogger
Is the game going badly for someone? Does he appear to have no chance of winning? If so, look out for The Board Jogger. He'll innocently stand up and begin to walk away to use the bathroom or get a drink and then, just as he is about to clear the table, he'll bump it. Not a lot, he's not a table flipper, but just enough to jog all the game pieces out of position or shift the tiles out of whack so that you can't tell where some of them belong anymore. Of course, he'll offer to help get things back in order and, if allowed to, nothing will go back just as it was. Adjustments get made and things are 'close enough for government work', but he's set things up to either disadvantage the leader, or significantly improve his own chances. Games like Carcassonne, where no one can possibly keep track of the exact position of every tile, including it's orientation, are particularly susceptible to this cheat. As is any game played on a card table. Obviously, it was just an accident, as he will happily tell you if confronted.
The Sneak Thief
Any game with a lot of pieces that need to be collected, resource cubes for instance, is ripe for an appearance of The Sneak Thief. His magic happens when it comes time to collect his resources, or get some coins from the bank, or trade in anything. The art here is in picking up one more or one less of the item in question. If there is free access for each player to take his own items from the bank, you can be sure that The Sneak Thief is going to end up, somehow, with more than he should. Or turn in less than he should. Either way he gains the advantage of having more of the thing he needs than anyone else. Then, of course, it is just a matter of building or trading in the items for the victory points, at which point he will do it again. And look there, he's building another city almost right away. You'll think the game has a runaway leader problem, but no, it is just The Sneak Thief at work.
The Card Keeper
The Card Keeper is much like his brother, The Sneak Thief. Instead of monkeying with the resource cubes though, this guy just manages to hang on to any beneficial cards he might need. Or cards that he comes across that happen to counter exactly what you were planning on doing. He always has the right cards for the moment and seems to be exceptionally adept at drawing what he needs from the deck. In truth though, he's just holding on to cards he should have discarded or turned in at some earlier point. Even better, he often has a larger hand of cards than he should. He'll 'accidentally' draw one more than allowed and keep it hidden just behind another card. If caught: “Oops! I've got one too many. Here. Just draw one out at random and stick it back in the deck.” Really, in the grand scheme of things, that one you caught him with isn't going to matter. All the others will.
The Peeping Tom
The Peeping Tom crops up in games with hidden information and takes on many forms depending on the game you are playing. Got a hand of cards no one is supposed to see but you? The Peeping Tom goes right behind you as he gets up to get a drink and, with a quick glance, now knows at least three of your cards. Do the cards all come out of a common deck, or have you got a bunch of tiles face down on the table? The Peeping Tom is adept at misdrawing or accidentally flipping tiles to see what is coming. Shuffling is even worse. If allowed to do so, The Peeping Tom sneaks a glimpse at top, bottom, and middle cards as often as he is able. His ability to 'guess' what card is coming is legendary. No more so than his ability to know exactly where the tile he wants is hidden.
The Money Fiddler
The Money Fiddler is never the banker. He is, however, the guy who makes the most use of the bank. He trades in small denomination bills for large denomination bills and then, a little bit later, trades large denomination bills for smaller ones. Why all this moving of money? Well, it's simple really. He's running the Short Change Con on your board game. Since most people pay more attention to the game itself, and being the banker is probably not the main focus, this guy cheats by annoying you to death with all the change making while slowly accumulating more money than he ought to have. Pretty soon he has all the buying power at the table and no one is quite sure how he managed it. You all think you've been paying attention to the game, but in reality, the real game has been going on just out of sight. If you catch him at it, you'll only catch him once and it will be 'an honest mistake' because 'math bad'. Everyone corrects the mistake that was caught. Meanwhile, he's still up $100 from all the other times you didn't catch.
The Executive Banker
You've made a real mistake allowing The Executive Banker to actually run the bank. You thought his cousin The Money Fiddler was bad? The Executive Banker has an iron grip on the bank and allows no one else to touch it. He hands out all the money and has yours ready practically before you ask for it. This instills confidence in his trustworthiness and you are happy to let him do a job that no one else at the table really wants to do. Except he is robbing you blind the whole time. Maybe you get one less dollar than you should. He certainly gets one more. And an extra $5, $10, $20 or whatever else he can get away with. He doesn't want you messing with the bank yourself mostly because he knows you'll spot the shortage. He'd much rather you go on not concerning yourself with the cash and just about happy in the knowledge that things are being well run. That way, at the end of the game during which he has turtled the whole time, he can suddenly pay for and build everything he needs to make a come from behind victory and blow the rest of you out of the water doing it. And none of you can prove a thing. You all feel a little sick though, knowing something isn't right.
The Time Lord
Many games have a timer of some sort, whether it be a sand timer or an auction clock or some other timing mechanism. Just like your favorite TARDIS hopper, The Time Lord has an almost mystical control of timing devices and he will use his powers to stretch or compress time as it pleases him. Subtle vibrations on the table will make sand timers run faster if needed. If he wants them to go slower he sets them down a little cock-eyed or he employs a technique borrowed from The Board Jogger and simply knocks the timer over by whatever means won't make it seem as if it was done on purpose. With mechanical timers, he is quite good at setting them shorter or longer by a second or two if needed. Whatever the method of time keeping, he's got a fix for it that guarantees you get less time to make your move or reach your decision and he has more. Sometimes it is as simple as “3-2-1 >click< Go!” versus “3-2-1 Go! >click<”. It's hard to beat him without becoming a Time Lord yourself.
The Distractor
When The Distractor gets going it is less about playing the game than it is about playing you. A certain amount of gamesmanship is natural and expected in any game, but The Distractor takes it one step further. He'll actively target the player in the lead or with the best strategy and start to break his concentration at crucial moments. Just as the leader is making his move, The Distractor will engage him in meaningless conversation about the last episode of The Ambling Dead and what happened therein in the hopes of making him forget one crucial step in his turn. Or The Distractor will become the player from hell and try to make everyone at the table forgetful, nervous, or just plain mad so that they aren't playing at their best. Whatever it takes to throw you off your game, the Distractor will do, all in the hopes that his ability to execute his maneuvers remains unaffected so that he can take advantage of you. Ignoring him sometimes works, but often just makes his behavior and the things he says more outrageous and unignorable.
There are, without a doubt, more types than just those covered here. Of course, no one wants to play with a cheat and the surest method of preventing their activities is to not invite them to your game. First, you have to identify them, though. Let us know what types you have encountered, their tactics, and how to prevent them in the comments below.
Cheats come in all shapes and sizes in gaming. If you've played games for any length of time you've run into at least one of these cheaters at some point in your gaming career. Knowing their tactics is the first step in identifying and combating them at your game table. With that in mind here are 12 types of game cheats and the tactics they employ.
The Adjuster
The Adjuster never seems to have things quite right on the board. Maybe his playing piece is sitting half-way between two spaces accidentally. “Oh, look,” he says in the spirit of fairness, “my piece moved and I don't remember exactly where it was.” He then takes the piece and sets it firmly on the most advantageous choice of the two. It doesn't take long before he's adjusting it again and, by the end of the game, he's technically moved a dozen spaces ahead of where he should be by correct roll. Even worse is when the piece in question is on the scoring track. That's good for 15 extra points if no one is paying attention. You spend a lot of time after the game ends trying to work out exactly how he managed to score so many points with only three connecting cities and an asthmatic train. The kicker is, he'll also help you adjust your piece if it happens to slip off a space. Except backwards.
The Phantom Mover
Almost like The Adjuster, The Phantom Mover, if not watched carefully, will simply pick up his piece and set it back down somewhere he likes. It'll be close to, but not quite exactly, where his piece started. Maybe only one space ahead, often two or more; you'll look down at the board only to realize that he's suddenly in the lead, and not just by a little bit, either. Heads will turn, you'll eye one another, but none of you will be quite sure that something is wrong and you certainly have no proof unless someone is tracking every turn of the game. Sometimes the Phantom Mover accomplishes this trick simply by miscounting the number of spaces he moves. If a 4 comes up on the die, for instance, you have to watch and listen very carefully to realize that he counted 5 spaces instead of four. If caught, he'll just claim a miscount, put the piece where everyone says he should be and then try it again the next time.
The Phantom Roller
The Phantom Roller is more often seen in RPGs, but crops up in board games as well. He is a master of illusion and could have quite the career on the Vegas magic circuit. You'll swear you see him roll properly, you'll even believe the dice have actually tumbled upon striking the table top, but under no circumstances has this actually happened. Instead, the dice are rolled in such a way that they slide when they land keeping a very specific face pointed upwards. On d20s this is always the 20 face, but in board games it can be any face that produces the most desired result. Need to roll an 8 to produce a couple of brick in Catan? Rest assured the Phantom Roller can produce exactly that when it matters most. He doesn't do this all the time. That would be too obvious, but the frequency with which he gets just what he needs is almost uncanny. It takes a sharp eye to catch him, and, just when you think you've got him dead to rights, he'll 'notice' a bad roll himself and re-roll it 'to be fair'.
The Lord of the Dice
Bow low before the Lord of the Dice, for you are in the presence of a master. At least, he thinks you are. Again, this guy crops up in RPGs more often than board games, but look out anyway. His hands move like lightning and, even with your best efforts, you never quite see what it is he just rolled. The dice will hit the table, but, just before they come to rest and everyone can get a good look at them, his hand whips out with snake-like speed and gathers them up again as he announces the result. “18!” he says, and what choice do you have but to believe him? You can ask him to let the dice land fully before picking them up again, and he will. For about four rolls before he goes right back to it.
The Board Jogger
Is the game going badly for someone? Does he appear to have no chance of winning? If so, look out for The Board Jogger. He'll innocently stand up and begin to walk away to use the bathroom or get a drink and then, just as he is about to clear the table, he'll bump it. Not a lot, he's not a table flipper, but just enough to jog all the game pieces out of position or shift the tiles out of whack so that you can't tell where some of them belong anymore. Of course, he'll offer to help get things back in order and, if allowed to, nothing will go back just as it was. Adjustments get made and things are 'close enough for government work', but he's set things up to either disadvantage the leader, or significantly improve his own chances. Games like Carcassonne, where no one can possibly keep track of the exact position of every tile, including it's orientation, are particularly susceptible to this cheat. As is any game played on a card table. Obviously, it was just an accident, as he will happily tell you if confronted.
The Sneak Thief
Any game with a lot of pieces that need to be collected, resource cubes for instance, is ripe for an appearance of The Sneak Thief. His magic happens when it comes time to collect his resources, or get some coins from the bank, or trade in anything. The art here is in picking up one more or one less of the item in question. If there is free access for each player to take his own items from the bank, you can be sure that The Sneak Thief is going to end up, somehow, with more than he should. Or turn in less than he should. Either way he gains the advantage of having more of the thing he needs than anyone else. Then, of course, it is just a matter of building or trading in the items for the victory points, at which point he will do it again. And look there, he's building another city almost right away. You'll think the game has a runaway leader problem, but no, it is just The Sneak Thief at work.
The Card Keeper
The Card Keeper is much like his brother, The Sneak Thief. Instead of monkeying with the resource cubes though, this guy just manages to hang on to any beneficial cards he might need. Or cards that he comes across that happen to counter exactly what you were planning on doing. He always has the right cards for the moment and seems to be exceptionally adept at drawing what he needs from the deck. In truth though, he's just holding on to cards he should have discarded or turned in at some earlier point. Even better, he often has a larger hand of cards than he should. He'll 'accidentally' draw one more than allowed and keep it hidden just behind another card. If caught: “Oops! I've got one too many. Here. Just draw one out at random and stick it back in the deck.” Really, in the grand scheme of things, that one you caught him with isn't going to matter. All the others will.
The Peeping Tom
The Peeping Tom crops up in games with hidden information and takes on many forms depending on the game you are playing. Got a hand of cards no one is supposed to see but you? The Peeping Tom goes right behind you as he gets up to get a drink and, with a quick glance, now knows at least three of your cards. Do the cards all come out of a common deck, or have you got a bunch of tiles face down on the table? The Peeping Tom is adept at misdrawing or accidentally flipping tiles to see what is coming. Shuffling is even worse. If allowed to do so, The Peeping Tom sneaks a glimpse at top, bottom, and middle cards as often as he is able. His ability to 'guess' what card is coming is legendary. No more so than his ability to know exactly where the tile he wants is hidden.
The Money Fiddler
The Money Fiddler is never the banker. He is, however, the guy who makes the most use of the bank. He trades in small denomination bills for large denomination bills and then, a little bit later, trades large denomination bills for smaller ones. Why all this moving of money? Well, it's simple really. He's running the Short Change Con on your board game. Since most people pay more attention to the game itself, and being the banker is probably not the main focus, this guy cheats by annoying you to death with all the change making while slowly accumulating more money than he ought to have. Pretty soon he has all the buying power at the table and no one is quite sure how he managed it. You all think you've been paying attention to the game, but in reality, the real game has been going on just out of sight. If you catch him at it, you'll only catch him once and it will be 'an honest mistake' because 'math bad'. Everyone corrects the mistake that was caught. Meanwhile, he's still up $100 from all the other times you didn't catch.
The Executive Banker
You've made a real mistake allowing The Executive Banker to actually run the bank. You thought his cousin The Money Fiddler was bad? The Executive Banker has an iron grip on the bank and allows no one else to touch it. He hands out all the money and has yours ready practically before you ask for it. This instills confidence in his trustworthiness and you are happy to let him do a job that no one else at the table really wants to do. Except he is robbing you blind the whole time. Maybe you get one less dollar than you should. He certainly gets one more. And an extra $5, $10, $20 or whatever else he can get away with. He doesn't want you messing with the bank yourself mostly because he knows you'll spot the shortage. He'd much rather you go on not concerning yourself with the cash and just about happy in the knowledge that things are being well run. That way, at the end of the game during which he has turtled the whole time, he can suddenly pay for and build everything he needs to make a come from behind victory and blow the rest of you out of the water doing it. And none of you can prove a thing. You all feel a little sick though, knowing something isn't right.
The Time Lord
Many games have a timer of some sort, whether it be a sand timer or an auction clock or some other timing mechanism. Just like your favorite TARDIS hopper, The Time Lord has an almost mystical control of timing devices and he will use his powers to stretch or compress time as it pleases him. Subtle vibrations on the table will make sand timers run faster if needed. If he wants them to go slower he sets them down a little cock-eyed or he employs a technique borrowed from The Board Jogger and simply knocks the timer over by whatever means won't make it seem as if it was done on purpose. With mechanical timers, he is quite good at setting them shorter or longer by a second or two if needed. Whatever the method of time keeping, he's got a fix for it that guarantees you get less time to make your move or reach your decision and he has more. Sometimes it is as simple as “3-2-1 >click< Go!” versus “3-2-1 Go! >click<”. It's hard to beat him without becoming a Time Lord yourself.
The Distractor
When The Distractor gets going it is less about playing the game than it is about playing you. A certain amount of gamesmanship is natural and expected in any game, but The Distractor takes it one step further. He'll actively target the player in the lead or with the best strategy and start to break his concentration at crucial moments. Just as the leader is making his move, The Distractor will engage him in meaningless conversation about the last episode of The Ambling Dead and what happened therein in the hopes of making him forget one crucial step in his turn. Or The Distractor will become the player from hell and try to make everyone at the table forgetful, nervous, or just plain mad so that they aren't playing at their best. Whatever it takes to throw you off your game, the Distractor will do, all in the hopes that his ability to execute his maneuvers remains unaffected so that he can take advantage of you. Ignoring him sometimes works, but often just makes his behavior and the things he says more outrageous and unignorable.
There are, without a doubt, more types than just those covered here. Of course, no one wants to play with a cheat and the surest method of preventing their activities is to not invite them to your game. First, you have to identify them, though. Let us know what types you have encountered, their tactics, and how to prevent them in the comments below.
