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In a campaign that is about to start one of the PCs is a Flux-Storm Chaser and Experimenter. Flux (also called Torque) essentially messes with reality and can cause all variety of odd effects to happen, from mutations to absolutely bonkers stuff.
Well this character has a Arcane Familiar that is a cat named Schrödinger. This cat has seen its fair share of the Flux, as such over the course of the campaign we are going to do anonymous draws to see what weird effect will happen to the cat next. Be it growing another eye, going invisible, coughing up fire, etc.
As such I turn to you ENWorld and your collective minds to think up the most off-the-wall bonkers ideas you can for the cat. Remember too, the cat is essentially the comic-relief for what will be a fairly serious campaign so go as silly as you wish.
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1. Every once in a while the cat will spit up a hairball and promptly die. Then the hairball will quickly grow into a confused looking cat which will cough up a hairball and die. The hairball will quickly grow into a confused looking cat which will cough up a hairball and die... Rinse and repeat till you are drowning in dead cats.
2. When the cat goes to sleep it's shadow wakes up and idly wanders around. Eventually it'll go back and hook up when the "real" cat is ready to wake up.
Maybe come up with some more when I have more time. Good luck with your ideas!
The cat should start barking...yeah, that's all I got, I'm recovering from a late night of drunken revelry.
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3. (Inspired by PvP webcomic) - At night the familiar wanders off, when someone looks for it, they find it hiding nearby working on a nasty looking small construct or armor. When it sees the PC, it drops the tools and begins acting like a normal cat pawing curiously at the gears.
4. Whenever the familiar is in active mode, from nowhere and everywhere you hear the sounds of hundreds chanting a cryptic and disturbing ritual.
5. The cat levitates several feet off the ground as if carried by the scruff of its neck. It has it's normal movement rate as it floats around, but has that floppy carried cat look.
6. Meows sound reversed. Hints of hidden messages in the sound.
7. Head turns into another tail, limbs turn into heads. Can only move by rolling.
8. Turns into an exact duplicate of the PC but miniature and still acts like a normal cat. ("Uh... can you stop Mini You from licking himself? It's disturbing.")
9. (Inspired by Something Positive webcomic) Loses all skeletal structure. Can move normally, but can also be stretched into any shape.
10. Turns inside out but acts normally.
11. Stares at one particular PC... constantly... never blinking... even when separated by a wall or any distance.
12. Slowly grows a tiny gibbering mouther on it's belly. Collects food for it and treats it like a baby including protecting it from any PC. Then on next teleport or flux affect, gibbering mouther is gone and cat is depressed for a day.
13. There are two cats that move in exact tandem just a few inches apart from each other. And then another, and another, and another until another flux effect.
14. Replaced by an entirely different cat. A very confused cat that doesn't recognize the PCs (but still able and willing to function as a familiar).
15. Same as any of the above (except #3), but it really doesn't like it and whines endlessly.
Thanks for all the ideas, they are great and will be written up and put in the "Schrödinger Hat" to be pulled out at random. So very soon your guys stuff may be in the game. As such keep them coming.
Oh and some more little info (recently decided stuff):
Schrödinger likes to sit while travelling within the rings that ornate the Storm Chaser's "Flux Rod" (acts as a lightning rod).
It has its own pair of little goggles, since don't want dust (especially reality warped dust) getting in your eyes while chasing after a storm.
The Storm Chaser still sees the cat as just his ordinary little kitten. He isn't blind to the fact it is all warped but just doesn't view his cat any differently.
Facial expressions and just little cat noises will be the only way it communicates till the PC gets the telepathy feat.
A couple of my own ideas I plan on putting up in the hat:
Schrödinger's tail pops off and becomes intelligent squiggling after the cat. Schrödinger sometimes will play literal tag with its tail.
The cat begins to levitate and doesn't have control over it. Much like a astronaut in space it needs to push off things to move around. Usually hides in the rings during this time.
Has one ear that is constantly bubbling and hissing with acrid black smoke rising up from it.
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Cat starts coughing up things, but not hairballs; living mice, toads, tiny fish, or other things such as small gems, silver coins, or other items of some small value. Cat catches and eats the fish/mice etc...
Every time cat meows, bells chime or musical tones sound instead. Cat seems very disturbed by this.
Cat's fur sparkles, and trying to pet it delivers a minor electric shock, like static charge, but capable of doing 1 pt nonlethal damage.
Over 2-3 days, cat gets lumps on his back, which grow large and tender, then erupt into wings. Cat can fly for 2-3 days, until the wings shrivel up and fall off.
1. Random musical effects: If you have it, play the theme from the Pink Panther movies, Love Cats by the Cure, or even the Thudercats cartoon theme song.
2. Random dialogue: Maybe record something from a television show and have it play. Possibly a conversation is leaking in from another dimension. (Possibly, you could have a few clues associated with the dialogue.)
3. Increased sentience: The cat gains sentience and a personality similar to any number of Warner Brothers Cartoon characters.
4. Cat dance: The cat begins doing an elaborate jig.
5. Puss in Boots: The cat becomes a swashbuckler
6. Size increase: The cat becomes huge in size and may serve as a mount.
7. The cat attacks: At random intervals when Flux attacks a foe with a spell or the wand, the cat responds. The target is pelted with cat toys, yarn, kitty litter, or cat treats.
8. Shadowcat: The cat phases in and out.
9. Breed change: The cat changes appearance and resembles several breeds. This can go into changing into small or large versions of different breeds, or other cats -- such as a sabretooth tiger.
10. Cat-a-tastrophe: Random effects that result in something embarassing happening to friend, for, or bystander. (This might result in something happening such as a king and a jester exchange hats.)
11. Shrodinger the Rescue Cat: The cat now believes it is a rescue Saint-Bernard, and a small collar with a keg appears around its neck. (If you are feeling particularly generous, the liquid from the keg may have a minor healing effect to stabilize a character. If so, then maybe have the use of the keg require a standard action from Flux to direct Shrodinger to save a downed party member.)
12. The Cat from Mars: Schrodinger now appears to be something utterly alien but is still the same.
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Its legs retract or meld into its body which elongates. Adorable fuzzy cat-snake go!
Sometimes it falls out of sync with normal time moving faster or slower than the rest of the world.
Its body becomes gelatinous or fluid though still vaguely cat shaped.
It becomes very, very tiny.
Cat channels angry and frightening extra-dimensional entities, which are powerless (or not) to do anything but threaten whomever is present with horrible fates.
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Schrodinger the Chromatic Cat: The cat's color changes constantly as it moves. (Perhaps sometimes when Flux casts or uses a spell with color effects (prismatic wall) the cat mirrors the effect.
The Ghost Cat: Spirits of random people visit the cat, pet the cat, and wave at the party. Rarely, the spirit may have something to say to the party.
Time reversed cat: The cat seems to be moving backwards through time.
Retriever cat: The cat disappears and then reappears, sometimes carrying something unusual such as a cat toy or a small item that a party member lost months or years ago.
Spider cat: The cat seems to have gained some of the powers of a spider and walks on walls, catches mice by shooting webs, and may even swing with webs ala Spider-Man.
Lantern cat: The cat's eyes give out a radiance equal to a lantern.
Echoes: The cat meows and the echoes come back as an entirely different sound.
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No matter where you are, there it is. Even if the PC leaves it behind in a locked room, it just keeps coming back, inexplicably.
Cat begins grooming you.
Cat looks at you suddenly, like it knows something about you. You just feel like it knows a secret.
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No matter where you are, there it is. Even if the PC leaves it behind in a locked room, it just keeps coming back, inexplicably..
The cat came back, the very next day!
I have to say I am loving all of these. I can imagine all of these, some even remind me of stuff from shows and such dealing with cats. The unhinging jaws for example reminds me of Azumanga Daioh.
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The cat brings back dying rodents, which disturbingly have the faces of people the PCs have known who have died. They berate, beg and scream at the party as the cat plays with them. If rescued, they appear as normal rodents, but my have some slight trait associated with the NPC they appeared as.
Wow, this thread is making me want to use my own Flux-warped cat!!
Everybody deserves their own Flux-Warped Cat!
Actually it will be a weird contrast to other effects of the Flux. Since it has also been weaponized and they will see the after effects of it. From cities where the buildings and ground has been turned "alive", to refugees carts being torched because hidden within are warped and insane family members, to flux-warped trains barrelling through towns and cities taking away any in their path, etc. Not to mention just all the different mutated creatures that will be wandering the wilderness now.
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Every time someone looks the cat, roll a die. Odd it's dead at the moment, even it's alive.
Whenever one specific person (preferably the PC, but no neccessarily the owner) is alone with cat, it stands up, produces a cane and top hat (or whatever) and does a song and dance number. No amount of coercion, bribery, trickery, or manipulation will cause the cat to preform when anyone other then the 'special' person could witness it.
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Copycat: The cat begins to take on the mannerisms and behaviors of either its master or an allied PC or NPC. Equipment appropriate to the cat's size and weight begin to appear on the cat, and the cat acts like that character, perhaps repeating a fighter or monk's martial arts move, praying like a cleric or paladin, or raging like a barbarian. This may or may not have an effect in combat, but has ample opportunities for humor. If the cat is capable of speech at the time, the cat sounds a bit like the character it is copying.
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For additional fun, how about some area effect results:
1) Every spell cast in 100' radius this round is affected by a randomly determined Metamagic feat. If this results in a nonsensical result (say, Split Ray on a Fireball), there is a farting sound that emanates from the caster...and no spell gets cast (but the caster doesn't lose the slot).
2) In a 30' radius, every intelligent being "castles": randomly switches places with one other intelligent being. If there is an odd number of beings, the last one switches places with the cat.
3) All beings within 20' radius of the cat disappear into a pocket dimension in which there is no magic and they are all players in a LARP at the Econo Lodge in Minitowoc, Manitoba. There, they must role play their combat. After the combat, "survivors" re-appear as normal. Losers re-appear as magic-less LARPers who have no idea what is going on.
4) In an area of effect that mimics a Meteor Swarm, immense columns of water appear in the biggest open space- up to the limits of the atmosphere if in an open area- channeled from the Elemental Plane of Water. In each pipeline swim the normal inhabitants for that plane...and anyone in their AoE. This effect lasts 1d4 rounds. No damage is done by the water's appearance, though drowning is a possibility.
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