LongGoneWriter
Member

I don’t know if anyone else is dealing with this, but the General Roleplaying Games Discussion board is full of threads started by talien that have the same title as LongGoneWriter’s post reviewing Starfinder’s Alien Archives 2. They all say the same thing: This post was generated by a news article which your device or browser is not displaying directly. You can view the article directly here. I am on the desktop site on my iPhone, if that somehow makes a difference.

Wow, I’m surprised by the result. Even more surprised after reading Deuce Traveler’s breakdown! I knew I had some clunky sentences in there. I think that ultimately, the issues with my entry were due to the need to heavily revise it to get it to fit within the word count. Most of the problems Deuce mentions were the result of hasty editing to get the job done on time and under the word limit. The history of the region was more elaborate, including the Mind of Mab being used in times past. The Duke and the sheriff were a bit more present, and Dimble and Primley, the two gnomes, were more fleshed out. Banderhobb’s goal was clearer; there were more rules about how the Mind of Mab works, and he would basically use it to lead the humans to the Crossing to the Feywild, where they’d be taken by Unseelie fey. As I was writing, I knew I was going to be over, but I kept going, figuring that I could edit things down reasonably. But instead I feel that each part of the whole was diminished, leaving an...

Judgment of Round 1, Match 4: LongGoneWrier’s “Petals of the Mind Flower” vs hawkeyefan’s “Command Performance” Hoo-boy. Here we go... Accordance to Rules Both entries were sent in on time. LongGoneWrier’s submission was around 720 words, while hawkeyefan was a bit over 730 words. Therefore both writers were in full compliance with the rules. No advantage to either side. Grammar and Readability “Command Performance” has several small errors. Sentences such as: “Many gnomes still remain in the mostly human town, but they and other non-humans are treated at times as second class citizens, occasionally referred to as “dims”, a slur from old times.” Should be condensed as: “Many gnomes still remain in the mostly human town, but non-humans are often called ‘dims’ and treated as second class citizens.” This makes the sentence more readable and saves on the word count so you can strengthen the entry in other places. Also, note the structural and punctuation errors here: “...

My thoughts on the entries: Those are two spectacular adventures, and I'm sure this will be a tough judgement to make. hawkeyefan, I always have a weakness for fey as villains. I think they are too-often represented as capricious and nice, while people neglect that they can have a dark side. Your adventure looks like it would be great fun to play or to run, with an interesting village brought to life in so few words. LongGoneWrier, I love seeing Shadowrun appear in this competition. It makes for a refreshingly-different take on the elements, and yours is a tightly-written adventure with plenty of opportunity for chaos. I'd love to play this one too. I think Deuce will have a challenge on his hands picking a winner here.

My spectator commentary for match 4: That sure is a tight adventure, LongGoneWrier! Once the PCs figure out they have to mess with the Astral plane, things should get pretty crazy, too! Similarly, the chaotic shenanigans encouraged by all of hawkeyefan’s NPCs – and their racial tensions – make for a good-looking scenario. They both look fun.

LongGoneWrier and hawkeyefan, you have 24 hours to post your entries to this thread. Please limit your entry to a title, a list of the ingredients used and 750 additional words. Please include your list of ingredients at the beginning of the entry and please do not edit your post once it is submitted. Please refrain from reading your opponent's entry until after you have posted your own. You are on your honor to do so. Entries that are between 1 and 59 minutes late will have their word-limits reduced to 675. Later entries that are at less than 1 day late will have their word-limits reduced to 525. Entries that are at least 1 day late will have their word-limits reduced to 375. In addition, entries that are at least 2 days late may be disqualified at the discretion of the judge with consent from the match's opposing competitor. Entries that exceed their word-limits will be considered to end once they reach that limit; I will ignore everything after. Your ingredients are: - Ignorant Bliss - St...

hawkeyefan and LongGoneWrier , I believe you two are the last two contestants and should be facing each other for Round 1, Match 4. Are you both ready to go? I plan to start in about 24 hours from now.

Imhotepthewise, CleverNickName, LongGoneWrier, and hawkeyefan: If two of you are ready to start a game tomorrow (Sunday), chime in. Otherwise, Match 3 will have to wait until Tuesday at the earliest.

Groovy! Gradine tglassy Imhotepthewise CleverNickName LongGoneWrier MortalPlague Mister-Kent hawkeyefan Please post time frames (days and approximate start times) in which you would best be able to compete for the first round. Ideally, we will have completed all four matches within a week.

Perhaps some former contestants, judges, and/or alternates from the last few tournaments might want to get in on the fun? Leopold LongGoneWrier LucasC Lwaxy MortalPlague PnPgamer Radiating Gnome Slit518 steeldragons UselessTriviaMan Waylander the Slayer Wicht Wik Yaztromo

Perhaps some former contestants, judges, and/or alternates from the last few tournaments might want to get in on the fun? GuardianLurker Imhotepthewise Iron Sky Leopold LongGoneWrier LucasC Lwaxy MortalPlague PnPgamer Radiating Gnome Slit518 steeldragons UselessTriviaMan Waylander the Slayer Wicht Wik

With Lwaxy's judgment in, in the matter of LongGoneWrier vs. Deuce Traveler, we have Deuce officially advancing with a 2-1 judge split.

...Heir to Nothing steals the Star-crossed Book and flees the Lazy Eye's Headless Hunter by fleeing with and through the Gutted Machine, hoping to stop his pursuer's forces with Silken Wallpaper and Useless Glue. Didn't have to stretch too much to get it all to fit. Let's try replacing some stuff: The Codependent Thief steals the Star-crossed Book and flees the Lazy eye's Iron Hunter by fleeing with and through the Gutted Machine, hoping to stop his pursuer's forces with Invisible Walls and Weak Chains. Summary Though the setting/enemies are really not my favorite and the writing was tiring to read and difficult to skim to find specific parts, the ingredients are well integrated with one another and hold up pretty well on closer examination. Where this adventure truly shines, however, is that players have actual, meaningful choices that have a huge effect on how the adventure plays out. In playability, at least, this is the strongest adventure I've seen so far. We have LongGoneWriter's Corporate Downsizing(hereafter Corporate) against Duece Traveler's Get Ye to the Underdark (hereafter Underdark). Appeal Cool Factors – We have a beholder that might ride an iron golem and a standoff at a fortress vs infiltrating a tower and fighting an unkillable cyberzombie with the aid of an assaultaur. I'm giving a bit of an edge to Corporate on this one. Other Appeal – The writing in Corporate is clean (see Writing Levels below); it conveys the adventure contents cleanly and well. Underdark took me at least thirty minutes longer to judge just because the reading was slower and finding information in the long, dense paragraphs was harder. I actually just counted and both have 10 paragraphs, so that underscores how much cleaner and clearer Corporate's writing is. Corporate takes this section easily. Playability Players matter and have choices – In Corporate, Glue dies, Eye and the Spirit don't even need to get involved, Toyroshi comes across as invulnerable, everythin...

Iron DM 2016 Round 2, Match 1 LongGoneWrier vs. Deuce Traveler Your ingredients for this round are: Heir to Nothing Silken Wallpaper Useless Glue Headless Hunter Gutted Machine Star crossed book Lazy Eye You have 36 hours to complete your entry, meaning that it is due 8 a.m. EST, Monday morning. Good Luck!

Okay, Deuce Traveler and LongGoneWrier - I will post your ingredients at 8 pm EST

Rune, LongGoneWrier - Are you both good for 8:00 pm EST tonight?

LongGoneWrier - which works better for you, sometime this evening, or tomorrow morning?

Looks like we're good to get rolling on round 2 soon. @Rune and LongGoneWrier, what's your availability look like for the next few days?

LongGoneWrier and LucasC - feel free to pontificate on your entries now. :)

I like the pure chaos inherent in your scenario, LongGoneWrier. Seems like fun!

Thanks for the legwork, Ben. Now on to my armchair ranting... . . . The more you break it now, the better it’ll run when they release the final product. Is that a promise? Death and dying gets another revisit in Update 1.5. It seems that still, too many of your characters are dying, so they’re trying out a flat DC for stabilization: 10 + your “dying” value (that is, as I recall, the number of times and the severity with which you’ve been knocked unconscious). May I suggest that part of the problem here is psychology? Players aren't using their regular PF characters; they're using converted or brand-new characters. They probably have much less attachment to these new characters, so they're willing to take bigger risks than they normally would...and they're dying for it.

Coming early July, the Starfinder Armory has weapons, armor, augmentations, tech gear, magic items, vehicles, AND SO MUCH MORE! BUT WAIT – THERE’S MORE! Included in the book are equipment-themed player options for every Starfinder class that make it an excellent companion volume to the Starfinder Core Rulebook. It’s not an awesome techno-magic space-future if you don’t have gubbins and guns coming out your ears, and it looks like this is the best way to get that going! I love these product reviews and my only regret is that the seller I deal through is always 30 days behind the official release which means that I am still waiting for last months Planar products. Keep it up!

And that about does it for this edition of the PAIZO NEWS ROUNDUP! Which book are you looking forward to the most? Well I do like Alien T-Rexes but Undead T-Rexes are cool too.

Damn and blast! Well, I’m here with my popcorn. NEXT YEEEAAAARRRRR! I'll add you as an alternate, then.

Well, I'm glad I'm not just getting newbie nerves, then. Also, way to nail EXACTLY what i was feeling when i posted. It's almost like you've been doing this for a while lol. Yeah, I think I've competed in maybe five Iron DMs now? I repost all my entries onto my "storage blog" so I can find them later and I just counted and have 13 entries. So, yeah, been doing this for a bit. Only doing it once a year means I've never gotten over it. It's not as bad as the first couple times, however, and last time I only shook for half-an-hour! :)

Is it normal to be really freakin nervous after you post your entry? I'd say I'm always nervous when i do this, but, well... lol. I'm often so nervous I'm shaking. I also get "poster's regret", wanting to do a final edit before I finally submit it. Doesn't matter if I've already spent two hours doing "just one more final edit". In some ways, posting is a relief because at least it's in someone else's hands now.

Is it normal to be really freakin nervous after you post your entry? I'd say I'm always nervous when i do this, but, well... lol. Also, if both of us have posted, can we read the other entry? I wanna see how DT used "star-crossed book" Yes and yes.

I actually could have sworn that system agnosticism was part of the point of these contests? Yes and no. We are open to adventures belonging to any system, and high-fantasy is the default, but we have had adventures for any number of systems. As I said, just stating a system provides expectational constraints on the reader and grounds it somewhat. When using a minimum of words, such as here, broad strokes that provide deliniation and assumed details can be a benefit to the writer.

Sure thing. Don't know how well I'll do, but looks like a fun and challenging exercise. Excellent! Consider yourself in. As soon as we get one more, we'll start talking a schedule.

bumpan cause I bit on the reddit hook. You guys open to letting a new guy run with the big dogs? We most certainly are. Are you going to give it a go?