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Last night my sister-in-law and I were watching Lost in Translation and I had a troubling thought. I think Scarlett Johansson is very, very hawt, but I'm also a little creeped out by the fact that I find a woman young enough to be my daughter so attractive.
Then my sister-in-law mentioned that she dated (dates?) Benicio del Toro, who's only a couple of years younger than I am. Yikes.
In years past I dated someone eight years younger than I was, as well as someone twelve years older, but the idea of dating someone more than twenty years my junior seems to border on pedophilia. So...my question to you all, in a May and December relationship, how young is too young?
__________________ On weird fantasy: "The Otus/Elmore rule: When adding something new to the campaign, try and imagine how Erol Otus would depict it. If you can, that's far enough...it's a good idea. If you can picture a Larry Elmore version...it's far too mundane and boring, excise immediately." - Kellri, K&K Alehouse
Depends on the people. Soem person are older then age and some are younger. Some times age doesn;t matter other times a few years can be too much. Age alone though is not something I judge.
Well, my ex-wife was ten years younger than me. Didn't bother me at all. But when we were still in dating mode, and she was still a thin and sweet slip of a girl, folks would see us at a diner and assume we were father and daughter. That creeped me out.
Location: center of despair to the left of depression
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I can think of many crude comments and jokes on this subject but I will refrain from saying them.
Push comes to shove- It does depend on the individual. Maturity of the mind is the main factor. I'm 35 and I find madonna hot still and also look more than once at people like Britney and Beyonce. +/- ten of my years.
Last night my sister-in-law and I were watching Lost in Translation and I had a troubling thought. I think Scarlett Johansson is very, very hawt, but I'm also a little creeped out by the fact that I find a woman young enough to be my daughter so attractive.
Then my sister-in-law mentioned that she dated (dates?) Benicio del Toro, who's only a couple of years younger than I am. Yikes.
In years past I dated someone eight years younger than I was, as well as someone twelve years older, but the idea of dating someone more than twenty years my junior seems to border on pedophilia. So...my question to you all, in a May and December relationship, how young is too young?
It depends. My last girlfriend was eight years my junior, fresh out of college, and uncertain of her future. This uncertainty put a strain on the relationship. Now, if I had been forty and dating a 32-year old, I doubt the 8-year difference would have mattered nearly as much. It's all about timing, really.
I don't think your attraction to SJ is abnormal. She's an adult, you're an adult, the end. I'll go a step further into the realm of taboo--being attracted to a teenager, or even a pre-teen as an adult isn't abnormal either. They are developing people and can be fascinating in their own way. The difference is, of course, that a mature, stable person doesn't act on an attraction to a juvenile.
I'll let you all in on a secret--when The Professional hit theatres in 1994, I was instantly smitten with Natalie Portman, even though she was all of 12 years old when that film was made (and I was 21). I pined for her while watching Beautiful Girls, just two years later. When Phantom Menace hit in 1999, I finally felt it was okay to mention that I thought she was sexy. But I'd thought it since the first time I saw her on-screen in 1994. I remember thinking then that she was gorgeous and would grow up to be stunning. Hey, I was right.
__________________ "A single PC isn't especially impressive; there's a good chance they'll lose to a single standard monster. A party is a terrifying murder machine." ---ValhallaGH, on 4E player characters
It's perfectly fine to think women are hot, even if they're much younger than you. It's even okay to think, "hey, that girl is fifteen and cute, I bet she'll be hot in five years." You're not going to going out and hitting on some young (over-eighteen) girl just because she's hot. Appreciation for beauty is not the same as acting on it.
Appreciation for beauty is not the same as acting on it.
That's what I keep telling myself.
I still feel like a big pervy though.
__________________ On weird fantasy: "The Otus/Elmore rule: When adding something new to the campaign, try and imagine how Erol Otus would depict it. If you can, that's far enough...it's a good idea. If you can picture a Larry Elmore version...it's far too mundane and boring, excise immediately." - Kellri, K&K Alehouse
I don't think your attraction to SJ is abnormal. She's an adult, you're an adult, the end. I'll go a step further into the realm of taboo--being attracted to a teenager, or even a pre-teen as an adult isn't abnormal either. They are developing people and can be fascinating in their own way. The difference is, of course, that a mature, stable person doesn't act on an attraction to a juvenile. <emphasis added>
I'll let you all in on a secret--when The Professional hit theatres in 1994, I was instantly smitten with Natalie Portman, even though she was all of 12 years old when that film was made (and I was 21). I pined for her while watching Beautiful Girls, just two years later. When Phantom Menace hit in 1999, I finally felt it was okay to mention that I thought she was sexy. But I'd thought it since the first time I saw her on-screen in 1994. I remember thinking then that she was gorgeous and would grow up to be stunning. Hey, I was right.
Similar story here. I remember watching Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone and thinking that Emma Watson was mind-crushingly cute. Few years on and its clear that she's going to be absolutely stunning. Normal mentally healthy people don't act on those thoughts though.
__________________ Maybe its just me, but complaints about 4th Ed D&D not respecting D&D's history strike me as being like complaining about the shape your play-doh comes in.
What matters, IMO, is how well two people compare in life experience. (This is aside from the age-of-consent issues, which I'm sure The Shaman felt were obvious.) Another poster touched on this when he mentioned that there's a huge difference between a 40/32 pair-up and a 24/16 pair up. In addition to the simple proportional difference (5:4 versus 6:4), the experience of "being an adult" should be shared. If you've been through college and into the real world, it's difficult to have a genuine romantic relationship with someone who doesn't have equivalent (not necessarily identical) life experience.
As an illustration, I began undergrad (and then law school) later than usual; I graduated law school about five years later than I would have if I'd gone the traditional seven-year route. So when I was in school, I had relationships with women who were also in school ... which typically made them substantially younger than I was. (I had 20 year old girlfriends when I was 27, 28, and 29.) At some level I actually considered women my age -- women who were on a career path or otherwise making their way in life -- to be "too old for me." It's not that I didn't find 30-something women attractive ... it's just that we really didn't have much in common aside from our age.
Now that I've been out of school for a few years and working, that's changing. While I'm still attracted to young-looking women (Scarlett J. made my "List" a few months back, in fact, and my experience with Natalie Portman was exactly the same as another poster described), I don't rule out older women any longer; a 36 year old woman has probably been in the real world longer than I have, but we do have those experiences in common now.
__________________ Jeff Wilder, San Francisco Bay Area If your sig is longer than your posts, your sig is too
long. Nobody reads it, they just get annoyed by it. And if you bore me, you lose your soul to me. - Belly
If you use expressions like "May and December" (which I don't understand) you are much too old to even be thinking about girls anyways.
I thought it tied in well with the 'May Memories' theme of the OT Forum. For what it's worth, that phrase was already long out-of-date when I was a kid...
__________________ On weird fantasy: "The Otus/Elmore rule: When adding something new to the campaign, try and imagine how Erol Otus would depict it. If you can, that's far enough...it's a good idea. If you can picture a Larry Elmore version...it's far too mundane and boring, excise immediately." - Kellri, K&K Alehouse
If you use expressions like "May and December" (which I don't understand)
I believe the phrase comes from thinking of someone who is older as being in the "winter" of their lives, i.e. December ("Winter"), compared to someone who's only halfway or so through their life being around May or June.
Of course, I could be completely blowing smoke from where the sun don't shine...
__________________ Graphic MMORPG art @ www.hijstudios.com
"I aim to misbehave." -- Captain Malcolm Reynolds, Serenity
I once had a friend who at 20 was dating a 40-year-old guy. She spent a couple years trying to break up with him, and at 22 finally ended the engagement, after having tried (unsuccessfully) to lure another friend of mine into having an affair with her, becoming suicidally depressed, and inadvertantly making me go uber-crushy on her.
So she breaks up with this guy--did I mention that I'm roommates with both of them?--and moves out; and she and I start sorta seeing each other on weekends, and the guy starts mooning around the house singing "Don't Stand so Close to Me" and other songs about ephebophilia, and then he finds out I'm sorta seeing her and kicks me out of the house, and then she falls in love over the Internet with some 35-year-old, starts gossiping about me behind my back, and I cut off all contact with er.
Healthiest situation EVAR.
If someone wants to date someone 10 years, 20 years, 50 years younger than them, as long as both parties are consenting adults, I won't gainsay them. I might think it's creepy and a Very Bad Idea, but then, I think a lot of relationships are Very Bad Ideas, and it's really none of my business.
Daniel
__________________ Everything's better with monkeys!
-Hypersmurf
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But when we were still in dating mode, and she was still a thin and sweet slip of a girl, folks would see us at a diner and assume we were father and daughter. That creeped me out.
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