Don't laugh..... it's here.

"I am Helion, governor of Mirwood. Please, enjoy the fineries of our second home." The elf says with a smile.

"Do you teach the arcane art here? I have need of a teacher." Maermon asks excitedly

"Do not mind him, been around humans far too long." Benat replies

"Well, then maybe a return to his nature roots will help him?" Helion remarks

"Maermon does a wonderful job dyeing his roots. No?" Paquito nudges Korg

Korg recognized the language as common, but for the life of him, had no clue what the minotaur was talking about.

The party is ushered through a line of tree that completely blocks the view of the village. Benat kisses the ground once the wooden houses with thatch roofs come into sight.

Maermon inquires as to the location of the elven mage guild, and is told they have a fine school just for the sort of thing he's looking for.

"Head north to the first elm, then head east until you come to the pine with the moss covered roots, the school will be above you, in that tree. Can't miss it." Helion says with a smile.

Maermon stands confused for a moment, having no idea what an elm looks like as he never took the survival classes his friends took growing up. Maermon watches the party head off to the west, so he turns and heads east hoping to run into the tree accidentally.


"I sense the touch of arcane in you my bullheaded friend." Helion remarks as the party moves ahead towards the festival hall.

Paquito stares back blankly at the elf, not seeming to hear his remarks.

"Ah someone who wishes it not to be known they are one with the spark?" Helion says to Paquito

"Surely you jest. No?" Paquito replies "I am but a merchant of the waterways, I see many things in my time. Maybe it's virus. No? I have been feeling ill. Perhaps I should see a priest about that."

The elf shrugs his shoulders and walks Benat to the festival hall. Paquito trails Maermon as the elf wanders around the trees blatantly showing his lack of direction skills. Two hours later Maermon finally wanders into the correct pine. Paquito almost gives himself away as he wonders how this elvish town could stand by and watch a minotaur stalk another elf through their town. Not only that but how can Maermon be so oblivious, these elves are extremely nonchalant.

Maermon greets the headmaster, and after negotiating a tuition, Maermon enrolls in meditation. Paquito waits until Maermon has left, before scaling the rode ladder up to the thatch building.

"Paquito Flacido, the man with many a background but no forethought. Have you come to study with the great elven teachers?" The headmaster asks

"Um, possibly that is certainly one way of looking at things through your eyes. For surely you have seen many a people traveling through on their way to this or that, from one port or another that carries with them that which may or may not bear the mark of something which may be construed as having a property similar to that of arcane. No?" Comes Paquito's long winded reply

The headmaster motions to a bookshelf next to Paquito. Paquito studies the bookshelf and decides to enroll in herbalism and draconic at the school.

As he leaves however Paquito arranges to not have any classes with Maermon and leaves happily on his way.

Benat brings the giants, who are much too large to enter the festival hall, elven ale in-between stories of her adventures. She ends up telling the short story of Books many times to the elven children, before calling it a night and telling the giants they'll have to sleep outside.

"First you bring Gronar diarrhea in a bottle, now you say I have to sleep under all the trees? Gronar think you plan this." Gronar complains

Morning comes and Benat inquires as to whether anyone in town might be interested in purchasing a ship. She is told the ship they came in on has been confiscated, returned to it's component parts, and returned to nature.

"What did you do with all the humans?" Benat asks

"They are of no concern to us. I do not care what happened to them." Helion replies, "Perhaps they're foraging for nuts?"

Benat finds the elf's views refreshing and drops the subject, she returns to the festival hall and learns that the village is having problems with some kobolds near the north side of the village. The elves believe the kobolds have them outnumbered but of course the kobolds couldn't hit the base of a tree if they ran at it. Benat also learns of a druidic conclave the village has just recently opened diplomatic ties with. The conclave is overseen by an ogre shaman and so talks are going slow, but as of now there appears to be no hostility.

Gronar watches as Korg sits along the shore staring back to the north.

"What Korg see?" Gronar asks

"Korg not see temple of Umtala." Korg replies his voice breaking

Gronar puts his arm around his friend, completely forgetting to tell him that the Godblade has grown dull and black.

she returns to the festival hall and learns that the village is having problems with some kobolds near the north side of the village.

Click to expand...

Ah yes, a few kobolds - what could be simpler...

Paquito found a nice quiet spot to stretch out on the ground, he takes out the books he garnered from the elven mages, and begins to skim the chapters looking for something interesting. His mind began to daydream about how pretty the school would look on fire, and how puny the giants would be once he fulfilled his physical destiny. He shuddered and broke himself off of the waking dream. Paquito often found his dreams became twisted whenever he allowed himself to relax. His knew he was different, his father never failed to point that fact out. Never content to play 'gore the human' or 'chicken' with his siblings, his fathered had always commented that Paquito was not sired by him.

Once after Paquito had taken the test of maturity, Paquito had a vision of a huge minotaur it's horns dripped blood. It's hair coarse and black, but the eyes, Paquito would never forget the eyes that looked on Paquito with approval. It snorted a brown noxious cloud of filth at Paquito, and told him one day, when he was ready, his real father would show him the maze of all beginning. Paquito left that day, and has never stopped searching for his real lineage.

Benat and Maermon go to sell the magical plate armor they gained back in Addon, after agreeing to sell for 3,000gp the elves leave to find the giants and Paquito to divvy up the gold. Maermon takes the giant's shares and Benat takes Paquito's and they split up. Benat finds Paquito beneath a wide oak tree with an open book in his lap and his attention on a particular vine tracing it's way up the oak's bark.

Upon noticing the elf's approach, Paquito quickly hides the book and turns his attention to Benat.

"Reading anything good?" Benat asks

"It is good to understand one's surroundings. No?" Paquito answers

"Yes, very wise. Anyway here is your take of the plate armor." Benat holds out a leather purse for Paquito.

"No" Paquito replies shaking his head and putting his hand up, "I was not present when you obtained it, it would not be right for me to partake of the spoils. No?"

"Very well, more for me." Benat answers and walks off singing an elven song of victory.

Paquito watched the female elf traipse off and a wry smile formed on his bovine lips, almost a sneer. "Wealth is only measured by the want of others, that makes me far wealthier than you'll ever be fey." Paquito whispers to himself.

"You sell pile of metal junk for that much?" Gronar asks Maermon, who nods affirmatively. "Gronar think there more junk in one of these pouches." Gronar says as he searches through his numerous sacks and pouches.

"Here, you sell this. It metal junk too." Gronar says handing the useless Godblade to Maermon.

"What the heck is this? It looks like you pulled this out of the back end of a vampire. I wouldn't touch it, let alone try to sell it." Maermon responds.

Gronar's brow furls and he decides to put it back it the sack he pulled it out of.

"What elves want to do now? Gronar ready to kill something!" Gronar shouts

"I think Benat was going to ply the tavern one last night, I'm going to try and get this ring identified." Maermon answers

"Ughhh, fine Gronar wait one last night, then start killing elfs out of boredom." Gronar replied

Maermon learns that the bone ring, that the group procured from the dead body of an assassin, allows for the maker of the ring to remote sense through the wearer's eyes. Benat takes her cloak to the elven temple, they tell her that the cloth is of an ancient drow make, and is well over ten generations old (elven generations being 250 years), and that it is a cloak of resistance +3. That night Benat returns to the tavern and once again is begged to tell her short dwarven story, this time however a young elf approaches her after the story and asks for all kinds of specifics on the dwarf's anatomy, beard length, attitude, combat prowess. The two elves discuss the dwarf in length through most of the night. Benat learns the elf's name is Nameroc and he is a druid, she inquires as to the nature of the kobold problem the town is having.

"They're a nuisance to be sure, however the real problem is that the forest moves." Nameroc tells Benat

"What? I know it's late and all but I think you must be drinking something other than water." Benat replies.

"It's true, the trees are never in the same place they were from the day before, we think most of our scouting parties get lost and then get picked off one by one." Nameroc explains

"Hmm, I've got a couple of dumb giants in tow. These trees, am I correct in assuming they're pretty big?" Benat asks. "Perhaps you should explain this to them." Benat hoped that after hearing about this problem, the giants will want to remain here for a while longer instead of moving on to more civilized lands.

"I'd love to." Nameroc agrees. "By the way, you're not.... you know.... bonded are you?"

"I've been on a ship for thirteen out of seventeen weeks do you think I've had any time to meet any elves?" Benat replies

"Well, I only assumed you were since you traveled with the other clan brother, I believe Maermon is his name?" Nameroc asks

"Bah, I think he's been around humans too long, Helion gave him directions to the elven magic school and the guy squirmed trying to figure out which tree was an oak, it was pathetic to watch." Benat answers

The two make their way to the antsy giants, and explain what Nameroc knows of the kobolds.

"Heh, kobolds easy to kill, Gronar agree to squish them." Gronar announces

"Moving trees eh? Mayhaps you elves aren't really that survival savvy after all. No?" Paquito interjects "I think I should like to see these magical pillars of moving wood. I agree to let the giants squish the kobolds. No?"

"I too agree to let the giants squish the kobolds" Maermon chimes in

"What about you Nameroc, you up for the challenge?" Benat asks

"I go where ever your lovely form graces the ground where I was raised." Nameroc replies

"Wait, Korg not like this adding elf. That make two elfs in group and that more than giants." Korg protests, holding up four fingers as Benat rolls her eyes at Nameroc.

"No, it's good Korg, more ammunition for Gronar if we run out of rocks." Gronar says

"You so smart Gronar, ok Korg agree." Korg answers

"Sir Nameroc, surely you have heard of the great beastmaster Paquito. No?" Paquito inquires

"Why no, I have not. Please tell me of your exploits." Nameroc pleaded

"Ignore him, he's full of bull." Benat says

"Maybe Nameroc you know of a minotaur enclave nearby?" Paquito asks

"Why?" Benat interrupts

"Because the great Paquito is not yet full of bull. That is why he needs to find some minotrices. No?" Paquito responds

"You're disgusting!" Benat protests

"Or maybe your tribe would like some sheep sheared. No?" Paquito asks Nameroc

"Maybe, I can check." Nameroc responds

"No no no no! Come along, we're leaving now!" Benat announces

"Psst, hey pokey if you shave sheep, Korg need new boots." Korg nudges Paquito and gives him a thumbs up.

"Sure, whatever the giant wants. No?" Paquito smiles

Hairy Minotaur said:

"Because the great Paquito is not yet full of bull. That is why he needs to find some minotrices. No?" Paquito responds

"You're disgusting!" Benat protests

"Or maybe your tribe would like some sheep sheared. No?" Paquito asks Nameroc

"Maybe, I can check." Nameroc responds

"No no no no! Come along, we're leaving now!" Benat announces

"Psst, hey pokey if you shave sheep, Korg need new boots." Korg nudges Paquito and gives him a thumbs up.

"Sure, whatever the giant wants. No?" Paquito smiles

Click to expand...

You gotta love these guys.

The party heads out, getting about four miles north of Mirwood and stepping into a waiting ambush.

Four kobolds fire from partial cover behind trees 90' in front of the party, while two worgs charge the rear of the party. Maermon's backside has a chunk removed by a worg, while Paquito deftly dodges the snapping jaws of the other worg. The kobolds manage to pepper everyone in their respective line of sights, while Maermon's worg drags his body down and chews out a gaping wound in his shoulder. Korg moves to the first kobold's position and squishes it into the tree, he then begins wiping off his sword of kobold goo before hiding as best he can behind the tree.

"Korg, what are you doing?" Benat asks

"Korg not want to get stuck with little sticks, hide behind tree so little doggie men can't see me." Korg replies

"But, your gut hangs out beyond the tree's girth, you're going to get hit regardless." Benat protests to the giant.

"Fine, Korg move to other side of tree so elfy can't see him." Korg responds and moves around the tree and out of cover. A kobold arrow easily finds it's place in Korg's abdomen

"Aahh, tree not help Korg!" Korg exclaims as he removes the arrow and proceeds to chop the tree into toothpicks.

Gronar manages to divide a worg, while Paquito sends a magic missile into the worg behind him, Paquito then takes a step back to allow someone else to fill the gap. Benat fed up with trying to shoot at the kobolds, casts entangle and snares two kobolds. Nameroc moves to Maermon and helps tend to his wounds, while Gronar takes down the other worg.

"Korg! focus, watch Gronar play marbles with little doggie men." Korg says as he advances to the edge of the entangle spell and takes out a four foot rock from a pouch on his waist. He then whips it into the tree of a non-entangled kobold. The rock grazes the kobold, but causes it to lose it's balance and fall to it's death.

Korg moves up and nails a kobold that had escaped the entangle and was climbing down the tree to escape. "Haha, Korg get one too. This fun game!"

Benat ends the entangle spell, and both Korg and Gronar charge the tree in an attempt to squish the last kobold. Benat couldn't tell who ended up killing it as she was disgusted at the way the giants turned the tree the kobold was in, into a branchless wooden pillar.

The party loots the bodies, and Benat manages to save enough of the worg's pelts to make a pouch and a cape once she returns to Mirwood.

The party travels another 2.5 miles to the north and Paquito and Korg both spot a pit trap being covered up out of the corner of their eyes. The party goes to investigate and gets ambushed by four worgs and a kobold this time.

The worgs take down Maermon and the kobold*,swinging a war mace, takes down Korg in one swing. Gronar attempts to bull rush the little critter, but the kobold is more than up to the challenge even being 9' smaller than the giant. Dismayed, Gronar steps back and pokes the kobold with his spear, causing a sucking wound to the kobold's chest. The rest of the party deals with the worgs and Nameroc moves in to heal Korg.

The kobold now fearful of it's life, throws down darkness, covering the entire battlefield, and takes off running to the north. Benat races outside the edge of the field, but is unable to locate the fleeing kobold. Nameroc has no difficultly in locating Maermon's bleeding body, and after apply his healing skill, begins force feeding him goodberries.

"You did try kicking him in the crotch? No?" Paquito shouts to Nameroc through the darkness.

"Why would I do that?" Nameroc shouts back

"Someone told me that is the way to wake up a sleeping elf. No?" Paquito replies

"Status check. How's everyone doing?" Benat shouts out as the darkness lifts

"Korg have big owee, need lots of rest." Korg answers and gets the same reply from Maermon

"Are you carrying a slab of meat in your backpack or something? Those things were all over you." Benat asks Maermon

"Once again the Paquito Flacido shines through like a beacon of stalwartness through the din of battle! No?" Paquito proudly announces

"Nameroc, do you know of any safe places we could camp for the night?" Benat asks

"Sure but we have to backtrack about 3.5 miles southeast." Nameroc answers

"Let's get moving." Benat replies

Nameroc leads them to a secluded cave big enough for the giants to squeeze into and still allow room for everyone else. The night passes uneventfully, with Nameroc making odd yipping noises all night long causing the group to sleep restlessly until around 3 am when Korg whips a rock into the back of Nameroc's head knocking him unconscious. Drawing a gasp from the other elves in the party.
"What? Korg thought doggie men were back." Korg explains as he closes his eyes to return to sleep.

The party heads back to the site of the first ambush and Benat begins tracking the kobolds steps, she tracks for a mile before the trail is interrupted by a presence of a good sized oak tree.

"I think we're in the moving woods part." Benat announces to which Nameroc nods in agreement

"Gronar think elf not know how to track." Gronar replies

"No there's a tree in the way." Benat says as she walks around the tree and picks up the trail again. "Odd it's like this tree just grew overnight."

Benat leads the party another mile where another tree has appeared in the tracks, this time however she finds a deliberate attempt to cover the tracks behind this tree.

"Well, I've lost the trail. Something has covered the tracks after this tree." Benat states

"You did look on the other side this time? No?" Paquito asks

"Maybe my wolf could track?" Nameroc chimes in

"You have a wolf? You've had it this whole time?! And you never said anything the whole time I was tracking!!" Benat says getting increasingly agitated

"Is it a female wolf?" Paquito asks, and gets the back of Benat's hand as a reply.

Nameroc calls for his animal companion and the wolf picks up the scent of the person who covered the tracks, but stops at the base of the tree and indicates the scent stops there. Looking up the party finds no indication there was anyone or anything in the tree. Nameroc then asks the wolf to follow the scent back to it's source. The party follows the wolf for about a mile to the east before the wolf indicates it's reached it's destination, which appears to be a bare patch of ground. Benat confirms that there are tracks similar in size to a kobold's but shaped different (a kobold's being clawed, while these definitely were from a toed foot).

The party decides to head north as that's where the nasty hitting kobold ran off to. They travel for about four hours before coming upon a hill rising out of the forest floor, with a knob of dirt on the top of the hill. Benat and Maermon move up darting behind trees and pausing to listen for any sounds as they make their way up to the base of the hill. Nameroc makes a note that his wolf appears calm even thought there appears to be no sounds of any wildlife in the immediate area. Benat makes her way to the base of the knob and hears a rushing river behind the hill. Peering over the back edge of the hill, she sees a forty foot drop into a swiftly moving river.

Gronar moves up and climbs to the top of the knob, and surveys the surrounding area, while proclaiming himself "King of the Mountain". Meanwhile the elves scour the base of the knob and Benat discovers a hidden door. The party regroups at the base of the knob, and Maermon opens the door. Two crossbow bolts come whizzing out from somewhere behind the door. Peering in the group sees a 30' long passage that's only 5' wide, it travels at a 60 degree decline and ends in a room from which two kobolds are firing at the party behind an overturned table.

Gronar throws a rock into the table, while Maermon does a controlled tumble down the passageway, getting 15' in the floor falls away into a pit, but Maermon manages to collect himself and activate the titan blood within him, levitating near the top of the passage. Unable to hit the kobolds now, Benat casts spiritual weapon and ends the kobold threat.

"Thank goodness I was here, you would've been mincemeat again, Maermon." Benat announces

"Hey, Gronar kill table." Gronar interjects

"What? The table wasn't trying to kill us." Benat replies

"Its not moving now." Gronar says proudly

"It wasn't moving before." Benat answers

"Fine job my pituitary engorged fellow, you can never be too sure about tables, sometimes they get up and charge you. I for one could've easily been killed, or at least severely splintered. I appreciate your preemptive tactical awareness, it saved my life. No?" Paquito tells Gronar

"Argh! Get over yourself, you're not even funny anymore." Benat decrees

"Gronar think pokey OK for short man with cow head." The giant replies putting a hand on the minotaur's shoulder.

Maermon pushes himself down the passageway and gets hit by two arrows from kobolds who have entered the room beyond the trapped hallway. Maermon pushes himself down the pit and out of harms way as Benat fires arrows into the attackers and Gronar throws another rock ending the threat.

Korg and Gronar chop down a tree so that the party can get across the pit, as the giants ask the party to scout ahead to see if it gets any wider below before they enter the mound.

* this kobold created with the dreadnaught template from "The Book of Templates-Deluxe Edition" (Silverthorne Games)

The party, minus the giants, works their way further into the kobold burrow. Benat leads and comes to a four-way, to the south is a pile of refuse, to the north a dark passage, and to the east is a door with kobold voices apparently arguing clearly heard from Benat's vantage point.

Maermon moves up o search the refuse pile in the south passage.

"Disgusting, smells like feces and rotting feces piled upon rotten feces. Can someone give me a hand with this?" Maermon asks

"I do not wish to get my hands dirty, cleanliness is next to godliness. No?" Paquito responds

"If my wolf won't go near it, then I see no reason why I should." Nameroc answers

"I'm scouting and I'm up wind, so no, I'm not going to assist you in your toilet fetish." Benat replies, leaving Maermon knee deep in kobold waste.

Benat moves around to the east passage and looks back to the northern passage, she sees that something is rooting around in the trash near the end of that passage. She waves Paquito and Nameroc forward and shows them where to watch the northern passage at. Benat then casts comprehend languages and goes to the eastern door to listen in on the kobolds.

"It's mine, I found it first, give it back"

"Too bad I've got it now."

"No, give to me!"

Benat returns to the group, "It appears the kobolds are arguing over something."

"Well I could've told you that." Nameroc answers "I speak kobold." He says proudly with a smile.

"Then why did I waste a spell to understand them, if you already could?!" Benat says agitated

"You never asked me if I knew what they were saying." Nameroc replies as Maermon rejoins the group

"Ugh! you smell worse than the minotaur. You go first, open that door down there." Benat tells him "And you," Benat points out Nameroc "For further reference, if you understand what someone is saying let the group know ok?!"

"Sure thing your beautifulness." Nameroc says with a bow

Maermon goes up to the door, and opens it. A group of kobold children are fighting over a dirty and abused doll, they appear to be oblivious to the infiltrating party. Benat notches an arrow, and kills the nearest kobold, causing panic within the room. Maermon rushes into the room and slices down the kobold closest to the only other exit. The kobold children all rush past Maermon, trying to escape down the tunnel. Maermon cuts one of them down as they race past him. Nameroc sends his animal after the throat of another one, ending it's retreat. Benat shoots through another one, as Maermon runs ahead of the fleeing kobolds and cuts down to furthest one, then another one as it runs past him leaving just one left. Nameroc takes aim and ends it's life as well.

"You elves are brave and tactically sound when you are fighting children. No?" Paquito says sarcastically

"What are you talking for? You didn't even help." Nameroc says

Paquito walks over to the body of a kobold and pointing out it's two halves that Maermon cleaved. "My help was definitely needed. No?"

Benat hushes the men and orders them down the east tunnel to another 4-way with a door to the east. Benat looks over the recent tracks in the room and determines that most of them travel from the south to the door to the east and then back south again. She leads the group south, they hear sounds of a kitchen (banging pots, boiling water, a crackling fire). The party inches up to where they can see the handful of kobold women and then open fire. Nameroc's wolf leaps at the cook and gets a pot of boiling acid dumped on it for it's troubles. The party cuts down all the female kobolds in short order, and notes the only exit to the south.

Heading down the southern tunnel, the party encounters another door. Listening, Benat hears loud snoring, to which Maermon just kicks it in, emboldened by the ease with which the party is mowing down the kobolds without the aid of the giants. The party finds a chamber that has a naturally occurring optical illusion, making the room appear smaller than it actually is, and offering good hiding spots if someone wanted to ambush in this room. Benat locates the source of the snoring, as a huddled mass on the floor near the center of the room laying next to a small campfire. Benat notches an arrow and lets it fly into the sleeping body.

"Ow! Tat hurt, you pay for tat!" came a gravely kobold voice.

Maermon took aim and buried another arrow into the kobold, followed by another arrow from Benat which sends the kobold, who had yet to stand, into the afterlife.

"Now, it appears you can handle the juveniles, the women, and the infirm. I applaud your valiant efforts. No?" Paquito announces sarcastically

Benat points out that if they hadn't killed every kobold they've come across, then there would've been an ambush waiting for them in this room. Paquito waves off Benat's explanation and walks around the circumference of the room. The elves go to investigate the body, while Paquito finds a hastily dug area near the north wall. Digging, he uncovers an iron pot with some copper and an amulet in it. Paquito quickly places the amulet in a pouch.

"Hey, guys! I found something of interest. No?" Paquito shouts "Appears to be an iron pot with some copper."

"Well grab it all, I'll add it to the copper we've already found." Maermon replies.

Benat notices that the ceiling in this room appears to be twenty feet high, also that the exit tunnel to the south is also just as high.

"You guys wait here, I'm going back to get the giants." Benat tells the men

90 minuets later, the giants have wiggled their way into the room.

"Gronar likes this much better. But sad that pointy ears not leave any kobold squishing for Gronar." Gronar complains

"I wonder why this chamber is so much bigger than the rest of the complex, it makes no sense. I am confounded. No?" Paquito asks aloud to no one in particular

"Who cares, they're kobolds, not titans." Benat replies

The party heads south and come to another door, opening this one, the party is confronted by seven kobolds, one of which is the kobold that put a hurting on Korg yesterday. A lizardman and a brown bear round out the room which is also twenty feet high.

Benat lets an arrow fly, killing the kobold nearest the door. However the kobold* in the back of the room sends a large mudball into Gronar who is in the doorway, the force of the mud causes Gronar's head to whip back, blinding him as he tries to wipe the mud out of his eyes. Benat then casts sound burst on the back of the room, but fails to stun anyone. Maermon and Korg enter the room, and both cut down two of three remaining koblods up front. The mighty kobold charges Korg and slams his war mace into the hill giant. Nameroc send his wolf into the room to try and chomp down on kobold meat, then he enters the room moving off to the upper right corner.

The kobold shaman shakes his staff at the party and encourages bravery in his clan. Paquito enters the room and fires a bolt at the shaman, it flies true but about halfway it turns and flies back at Paquito, landing into his neck and nearly dropping the minotaur.

"The shaman is using some kind of odd magic, I can't tell if it's arcane or divine." Benat announces

Gronar clears his eyes, and enters the room. He spies the mighty kobold, and slices him down to putty. Upon seeing this, the lizardman retreats through a secret door on the south wall, the grizzly moves up and chomps down on Nameroc, it then wrenches his body and tosses it aside like a used rag.

Paquito fleas back down the tunnel they entered from. "Help I am losing blood, I will die from blood loss. No?"

Korg skewers the two remaining warrior kobolds in the room, as the kobold shaman points his staff at Korg, sending a violet beam of energy at the giant. Korg's hair begins to fall out, as pustules form and erupt all over his body. Benat fires an arrow into the hide of the bear. Gronar turns and charges the kobold shaman, expending a hero point to strike a killing blow on the shaman. Entrails are splattered all across the room, as the staff falls to the floor and the beam turns off.

Maermon charges the bear, and just as quickly is knocked unconscious by the massive paws of the grizzly. Nameroc's wolf also attacks and is flung away from the bear, landing motionless next to Maermon.

"Paquito, get your cowardly butt out here and fight dammit!" Benat shouts

Paquito sticks his head out of the tunnel, pointing at the bleeding wound on his neck.

"I'll heal you once this creature is down, get out here an help!" Benat shouts back

Paquito shoots off two magic missiles at the bear, then gives Benat a thumbs up and a smile.

Korg heals himself as best he can, as Gronar charges the back of the grizzly, but swings wildly and misses his mark. The bear turns on Gronar but only lands a paw swipe on Gronar's left leg. Korg then moves in behind the bear to give himself and Gronar flanking positions, and Korg cuts the bear deep. Another arrow from Benat, and two more magic missiles from Paquito has the bear reeling, Gronar takes a step back and puts all his might behind his next blow which ends the grizzly threat.

* this kobold is a magister from Arcana Unearthed

Hairy Minotaur said:

A group of kobold children are fighting over a dirty and abused doll...

Click to expand...

Well, this certainly seems familiar.

What levels are these guys anyway? When you start mentioning giants and feindish minotaurs I automatically start pegging character level at 10 minimum. But they're fighting kobolds (granted, some of them are pretty suped-up template-wise), and with Racial Levels they could be much lower than I'm imagining them to be.

And what's the story with the Godblade?

Jon Potter said:

Well, this certainly seems familiar.

What levels are these guys anyway? When you start mentioning giants and feindish minotaurs I automatically start pegging character level at 10 minimum. But they're fighting kobolds (granted, some of them are pretty suped-up template-wise), and with Racial Levels they could be much lower than I'm imagining them to be.

And what's the story with the Godblade?

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Yep, I specifically picked the kobold burrow in The Hamlet of Thumble because of the space restrictions, I intentionally kept the giants back until the end fight.

There are 2 6th levels (Benat and Gronar if I'm not mistaken) 3 5th levels (Maermon, Korg, and Paquito) and Nameroc is 4th. The kobolds would seem a lot nastier if I actually rolled a hit!

The only templates are the bloodlines, so Maermon and Paquito, while 5th level are actually behind the group powerwise as they give up class levels to their bloodline (Maermon took his bloodline levels at 2nd and 3rd level, Paquito has taken 1 at 2nd level and still has 1 more to go). The party has been selective in their missions, and when they do run across spellcasters, they target them first as the WILL save on Gronar is only +2 and they don't want him charmed or held.

The Godblade was a gift from Korg's temple to try and kill a vampire that manifested within his church (and which ultimately caused the destruction of the city they just left). It could "crit" undead but with the apparent demise of the temple, it's powers have disappeared.

The party has little money and only 2 magic items (Benat's cloak, and a sword Korg has that he bought from his temple that damages him everytime he uses it). The battle the players just crawled away from this past Monday, showed that even the giants aren't invincible when facing something that can look them in the eye.

I plan on writting up a little campaign background in a few days which will help explain somethings as well. Hopefully this has been as entertaining for people to read, as it has been watching the characters play out their parts.

Hairy Minotaur said:

Yep, I specifically picked the kobold burrow in The Hamlet of Thumble because of the space restrictions, I intentionally kept the giants back until the end fight.

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I thought that might be it. I certainly had a tough time imagining a hill giant being of any use in a kobold burrow when the group first went in.

kobolds would seem a lot nastier if I actually rolled a hit!

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Ah... the capricious whims of the dice. Don't ya just hate it!

The only templates are the bloodlines, so Maermon and Paquito, while 5th level are actually behind the group powerwise as they give up class levels to their bloodline

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You forgot Gronar, I think. You said previously that he had a stone giant bloodline.

I plan on writting up a little campaign background in a few days which will help explain somethings as well. Hopefully this has been as entertaining for people to read, as it has been watching the characters play out their parts.

Click to expand...

I've enjoyed it so far. I'm sure I'll enjoy it more once I read the background.

The clerics bring everyone back to consciousness, then Benat casts detect magic. She finds an object radiating as magical in the wall next to where Gronar happens to be standing. Searching the wall she finds a hidden panel and opens it to reveal a crude metal safe, grasping the handle Benat's hand is pierced by a sharp needle. Benat waits a few seconds for a poison that never kicks in. She then opens the safe to find coins and an arcane scroll, she then turns towards the chest on the floor near where the lizardman stood. Alas it does not radiate as holding anything magical.

Benat scours the chest and is confident that it does not hold any traps, she opens the lid to find it full of gold, along with a note she cannot read. She hands it to Maermon and Nameroc who also cannot discern it's meaning. Paquito asks to see the note, Nameroc hands it over expecting the minotaur to say that he too cannot read it. However Paquito seems to study it intently almost mouthing some words.

"You can read that?" Maermon asks

Paquito stops studying the document and gives Maermon a puzzled look.

"Well can you or can't you?'" Benat questions

Paquito opens his mouth but stammers over the words and seems to be shaken by the question.

"What it say pokey?" Korg asks moving next to the minotaur.

Paquito sighs deeply then proceeds to read the letter:

Your payment of 8 slaves has been accepted; please leave the elves in the old fort on the eastern overlooking hoof lake. Grievous has agreed to join us; he plans to send one of his shamans to your tribe by next moon. He told me to tell you it will be of the scaly variety. Please accept our payment enclosed within the chest as agreed upon.



The burial grounds have yielded a number of interesting finds; we believe that there may yet be enough riches to buy us the victory we seek. We have also infiltrated the elvish community our shifters have begun to funnel the slaves to you as of this writing. I’m sure you will find these more than adequate.



Ss’Sthain was dispatched a ten day ago; let me know if he is up to your expectations. I meet with the elven elders in a fortnight; all is in place from our end. Tauranous please have your men ready three days prior, we need to know where they intend to strike from, so as to not get in the way of the entangle spells. Victory is certain!



We have a problem here, last night a party of elves, giants, and one of your men Tauranous, attacked us. The forestkith managed to cover my tracks, but I believe they will most certainly return. I may have to abandon this place if they get too close, I will meet you at the predetermined time either way. Tauranous if this turns out to be some kind of double-cross, my blade will find a new home between your shoulders!


The letter is written in a giant dialect most closely resembling Paquito's own language. Paquito notes that the 2nd and 4th entries are penned by the same hand, and relays that info to the party as well.

"Mularky! You're making that up, no way some lowly, dirty, goblinoid creature can imitate an elf good enough to live amongst them!" Benat shouts argumentatively

"If you doubt my sincerity, then perhaps you would like to have story time with the group? No?" Paquito responds, his eyes getting blacker as his heart pumps faster with the adrenalin rush the question of his honesty has brought.

"I told you I can't read it, at least not today." Benat replies, snatching the paper from Paquito's hand. "But you can be sure I'll triple read this first thing in the morning."

"Wait, Korg wants to hear part about other giants." Korg says

"It was talking about us." Benat replies

"But you not giant, Korg and Gronar giants. Paquito say giant party, Korg wants to hear about party." Korg says smiling

"Gronar want to talk to cow man about part where he attacked." Gronar says

"What are you referring to my large friend. Perhaps you would like me to reread it to you? No?" Paquito says

"No, Gronar want cow man to tell about why he know people in letter." Gronar says

"No, tell Korg about party!" Korg shouts

"It says one of his men, not Paquito. Surely you remember my brave actions during the fight with that kobold yesterday. No?" Paquito says pointing to the mighty kobold's body in the center of the room.

"Don't worry I'll read it in the morning and we'll get it straight." Benat says trying to get the party moving again

"Gronar not so sure elf can be trusted either." The giant remarks

"Aw, Korg want to hear about giant party." Korg says dismissively

The party moves to the secret door, and opens it to find a long corridor that leads outside.

"Elfy you track upright lizard." Gronar tells Benat

"I'll track him once we get out of this place, it's starting to get a little claustrophobic in here." Benat replies

Gronar sighs and steps forward right into a glue trap, which holds the giant in place as a low buzzing sound erupts from the far end of the corridor. Gronar is soon swarmed by stirges. Stuck in place Gronar elects to fight off the overgrown mosquitoes instead of freeing himself.

Benat and Maermon move into the corridor and start firing at the stirges, Benat takes one down with each arrow, while Maermon's shots just seem to graze the stirges.

"Are you trying to fire warning shots or what?" Benat snaps at the lack of prowess with a bow that Maermon is showing.

"Watch out, Korg throw rock." Korg announces from within the room

"Wait, you're not even looking at what you're throwing at. Are you going to throw blind?" Nameroc (who is in the room with Korg) shouts.

"Korg not blind, Korg see elfy just fine. Korg aim high." Korg says with a knowing smile

"Won't that hit Gronar?" Nameroc says trying to dissuade the giant

"Gronar! Duck!" Korg yells

"No, big mosquitoes, not ducks. Although Gronar would not mind duck for dinner." Comes the response from the besieged giant.

Gronar and Benat manage to kill all but one stirge before they attach and drain blood, but Gronar manages to squish that one while it was pre-occupied.

"Gronar say elfy track, but noooo elfy not want to track." Gronar says pulling himself free from the glue.

"How are we going to get past this trap?" Maermon asks

"Gronar have idea." Gronar says as he asks Korg to gather all of the dead kobolds, and he stacks them onto the glue. The party then walks across the backs of the defeated.

"Great idea Gronar." Benat says commending the giant inflating his already huge ego.

The party emerges from the cave opening to find themselves at the bottom of a 75' cliff Nameroc informs them that are about 7 miles further east from the entrance to the burrow. The party decides to head for the spacious cave Nameroc found for them yesterday.

As the party trudges through the forest at dusk, an arrow whizzes out from the trees and strikes Nameroc laying the elf low. A half dozen goblins melt from the trees and attack with shortbows, Korg and Gronar charge at one apiece as another arrow finds it's way into Maermon's back and he is felled. Nameroc's wolf charges the nearest one to him and begins to gnaw into a leg.

"Fire off some more of those magic missiles!" Benat shouts to Paquito

"Surely you jest, I am but a poor dirt farmer from the west. No?" Paquito responds as an arrow lands into his chest piercing a lung and dropping the minotaur

Outnumber and out maneuvered Gronar cleaves through two goblins and watches as the dead goblins transform into trees before his eyes. The goblins turn Korg's back into a pincushion but it is not enough to bring the giant down.

Korg and Benat handle 3 others before Gronar finishes off the last one, all of them turn into trees once they have been slain.

"I think we've discovered the secret of the moving forest." Benat announces

"Gronar discover reason elfs don't rule the world." The giant says prodding the bleeding bodies of Nameroc and Maermon. "Skin is like down pillow, easy to tear."

Korg applies bandages to halt the bleeding on their fallen comrades, and the giants carry the unconscious bodies back to the cave where the night passes uneventfully.