May and December...how young is too young?

The Shaman · May 16, 2005

Last night my sister-in-law and I were watching Lost in Translation and I had a troubling thought. I think Scarlett Johansson is very, very hawt, but I'm also a little creeped out by the fact that I find a woman young enough to be my daughter so attractive.

Then my sister-in-law mentioned that she dated (dates?) Benicio del Toro, who's only a couple of years younger than I am. Yikes.

In years past I dated someone eight years younger than I was, as well as someone twelve years older, but the idea of dating someone more than twenty years my junior seems to border on pedophilia. So...my question to you all, in a May and December relationship, how young is too young?

Crothian · May 16, 2005

Depends on the people. Soem person are older then age and some are younger. Some times age doesn;t matter other times a few years can be too much. Age alone though is not something I judge.

Greylock · May 16, 2005

Well, my ex-wife was ten years younger than me. Didn't bother me at all.

But when we were still in dating mode, and she was still a thin and sweet slip of a girl, folks would see us at a diner and assume we were father and daughter. That creeped me out.

Oh well.

Hellefire · May 16, 2005

Before puberty is too young to date. After puberty isn't.

Aaron

megamania · May 16, 2005

I can think of many crude comments and jokes on this subject but I will refrain from saying them.

Push comes to shove- It does depend on the individual. Maturity of the mind is the main factor. I'm 35 and I find madonna hot still and also look more than once at people like Britney and Beyonce. +/- ten of my years.

ForceUser · May 16, 2005

The Shaman said:
Last night my sister-in-law and I were watching Lost in Translation and I had a troubling thought. I think Scarlett Johansson is very, very hawt, but I'm also a little creeped out by the fact that I find a woman young enough to be my daughter so attractive.

Then my sister-in-law mentioned that she dated (dates?) Benicio del Toro, who's only a couple of years younger than I am. Yikes.

In years past I dated someone eight years younger than I was, as well as someone twelve years older, but the idea of dating someone more than twenty years my junior seems to border on pedophilia. So...my question to you all, in a May and December relationship, how young is too young?

It depends. My last girlfriend was eight years my junior, fresh out of college, and uncertain of her future. This uncertainty put a strain on the relationship. Now, if I had been forty and dating a 32-year old, I doubt the 8-year difference would have mattered nearly as much. It's all about timing, really.

I don't think your attraction to SJ is abnormal. She's an adult, you're an adult, the end. I'll go a step further into the realm of taboo--being attracted to a teenager, or even a pre-teen as an adult isn't abnormal either. They are developing people and can be fascinating in their own way. The difference is, of course, that a mature, stable person doesn't act on an attraction to a juvenile.

I'll let you all in on a secret--when The Professional hit theatres in 1994, I was instantly smitten with Natalie Portman, even though she was all of 12 years old when that film was made (and I was 21). I pined for her while watching Beautiful Girls, just two years later. When Phantom Menace hit in 1999, I finally felt it was okay to mention that I thought she was sexy. But I'd thought it since the first time I saw her on-screen in 1994. I remember thinking then that she was gorgeous and would grow up to be stunning. Hey, I was right.

LightPhoenix · May 16, 2005

It's perfectly fine to think women are hot, even if they're much younger than you. It's even okay to think, "hey, that girl is fifteen and cute, I bet she'll be hot in five years." You're not going to going out and hitting on some young (over-eighteen) girl just because she's hot. Appreciation for beauty is not the same as acting on it.

The Shaman · May 16, 2005

LightPhoenix said:
Appreciation for beauty is not the same as acting on it.

That's what I keep telling myself.

I still feel like a big pervy though.

Ranger REG · May 16, 2005

The Shaman said:
So...my question to you all, in a May and December relationship, how young is too young?

When the youngest did not meet the age of consent and majority, and that varies from state to state.

Some who already have children may not want a companion younger than any of their children.

Darkness · May 16, 2005

My stepfather is 1 year older than my sister (who's 16 years older than me). No problem here.

If it helps any, my mother looks almost 15 years younger than she is.