The Future
Nanuet and Minerva shared their drink then left, just as Ruby hoped they would. Clarisse was singing and there was no way that Ruby was getting on stage tonight.
Now that she was alone she could get the air she desperately needed. She hadn't agreed with Jake to not go out alone but she didn't want to upset him, so she found the puppies before starting her walk.
As soon as she gets a few blocks away from the Lucky Lady her spirits lift. Breathing in the cool air deeply she sighs and tries to let her tension out.
The sight of poor Gus getting shot, stabbed and burnt alive had been too much for her. After all, he had been a person, just like the rest of us, she thinks. And that's what they'll do to me too. The shiver continues to run through her. I wonder what it feels like to get a tent stake through the heart...
The puppies seem to be on alert, as if they know something is amiss and they need to be alert as Ruby isn't. She wanders without thought of where she is headed, so relieved to be left alone, even if only for moments.
Jake promised to take me away from the Lucky Lady tonight, I just can't stay there, not where Colin knows I am.
She shakes her head at herself. Who are you fooling, girl? You know he'll follow you wherever you go. You know it and you can feel it. Just as you practically felt poor Gus getting stabbed. He'll come for you, just as he promised.
Her conflicted thoughts continue. I wonder how Colin became what he is... I wonder what it's like... to live forever... Ruby's thoughts turn to forever and what it would be like to have that kind of power, power over death and power to never grow old or turn ugly. She admits to herself that isn't a bad prospect.
"What is wrong with you!" she yells at herself, startling the puppies. She stops and pets them, "I'm sorry little fuzzies, for scaring you." She scratches them equally before continuing her walk.
What is he doing right now? Is he killing someone else? Is he thinking about me? Is he making his way back here? Does he know they're coming after him? Thoughts continue to swirl when she stops suddenly.
Looking down she realizes she is at the spot that long ago a green liquid filled sphere was buried, by her. And how Jake had stayed with her, through her equally crazy mean and nice phases after said sphere was broken. She smiles and thoughts of him start taking over and pushing the other not as nice thoughts away. The getting cooler breeze calmed her and brought her back to her senses.
She turns and starts meandering her way back to the Lucky Lady. She takes her time, listening and enjoying the sounds of the night, the sounds that she knows and loves so much.
And her heart lifted, as she was not returning to the Lucky Lady but returning to him, the only one who ever had a chance of saving her.
As Silver Jake Cook approaches the Lucky Lady he sees Ruby walking towards the saloon from the other direction. The puppies are nipping each other and running circles around her. She is too far away to see him clench his jaw or to notice the rapid change of expressions that run across his face. The panic and anger followed by the lump in his throat are all gone when she is close enough to see his face.
"Nice night for a walk," he comments easily. He removes his hat to run a hand through his hair. He uses the motions to look at the streets and alley ways around them.
"Very nice." She takes his chin in her hand and forces him to look at her. "He's...not...here..." she says, pronouncing every word slowly. "And you promised me we wouldn't stay here tonight. Is that still true?"
"Yes, we can sleep away from here. I am good to my word." His gaze does not waver from her nor does he remove her hand. "You felt him when you were under his influence and you told me that is broken. How can you really know whether he is here or not? Whether we know where he is or not, is it really that onerous to you to take some extra care to improve the odds in our favor? Am I fighting Colin Turner alone?"
Ruby answers quickly while shrugging, "I don't know. I just said that." I know you don't and won't believe me anyway...
Ruby drops her hand but keeps her eyes on Jake's. "I'm standing here, aren't I? What else do you want me to do to prove that I am trying my best to help?"
Jake makes no pretense this time looking around the street they are standing on. "We should go before the night is over. We'll both feel better out of town. Come on and get your gear and we'll leave."
Ruby sighs, "I know my answers aren't good enough for you. I'm really sorry about that but I don't know else to do to change it."
She walks past Jake and heads up to their room where she quickly and quietly gathers what she wants. The more time passes and the closer she gets to leaving the more she forgets the night's activities and she even starts to smile.
Jake remains quiet as he collects his gear and guides them to the El Parador for their horses. He makes no further attempt at stealth. Once they are riding out of town he takes them on the most direct route to their destination.
Ruby visibly relaxes as they near their spot. She breathes the air in deeply, her nostrils flaring as the fresh scent wafts into her nose. The lingering cares of the past few days momentarily slip away. They tie their horses to a nearby tree with plenty of grass and access to the stream.
“Should we set up the tent? In case it rains or something?” Ruby asks. She is already ditching her dress as she speaks.
Jake glances back and forth at the nearly cloudless sky. "I'll set it up, but I doubt we'll need it. I'll do it now; I'm sure I won't feel like setting up a tent later." He grins and enjoys watching her remove her dress for a while before pulling out the canvas tent.
"I hope we don't need it, I want to sleep in the cool air under the stars in your arms," she gives him a dazzling smile. "But if it did rain then we would get wet trying to get it up! So let me help you baby."
Ruby attempts to help but probably makes it harder for Jake then if he were to have done it himself.
"Almost done,” Jake finally says after making little progress with the two of them working on it. “Why don't you get out the other gear and I'll finish this.”
"Ok!" Ruby felt more light hearted than she had in a very long time. She softly sings as she unpacks and lays out their blankets, food and drinks. She had snuck some wine in the bag; she takes the bottle out with 2 glasses and sets them nicely next to their blanket. She sings:
Believe me if all those
Endearing young charms
Which I gaze on so fondly today
Were to change by tomorrow
And fleet in my arms,
Like fairy gifts fading away
Though would'st still be adored
As this moment thou art
Let thy loveliness fade as it will
And around the dear ruin
Each wish of my heart
Would entwine itself
Verdantly still.
It is not while beauty
And youth are thine own
And thy cheeks
Unprofaned by a tear
That the ferver and faith
Of a soul can be known
To which time will but
Make thee more dear
No the heart that has truly loved
Never forgets
But as truly loves
On to the close
As the sunflower turns
On her god when he sets
The same look which
She'd turned when he rose.
As she sings the puppies run around her feet, nipping at each other. She kneels down for a few lines in the middle of the song and sings to them before rising and finishing unpacking.
Jake manages to get the tent setup. Chester would chastise him for the slipshod work. Jake felt it would be good enough. He sits quietly on the blanket and waits for her to finish frolicking with the puppies.
Ruby looks down at her work with pride before plopping down on the blanket, landing with a thump on Jake. “Hi baby,” she says in a soft voice. “This is much better than our stuffy room.”
Jake lays back and looks to the stars with his fingers laced together behind his head. "Yes, it truly is."
Ruby watches Jake’s face relax as he gazes at the stars and she sighs. She lies next to him facing him but keeps her head propped on her hand. She plays with the buttons on his shirt as she speaks. “So… what did you think of me the first time we met?”
"I thought you were the most beautiful identical twins I had ever met and wondered how I could bed at least one of you." Jake is smirking.
“Well, you figured it out, didn’t you?” Ruby giggles, letting her hand wander to his belt buckle. She tugs on it, “But you must have been disappointed to find out there was only one of me.”
"No. You were twice as fine as I could even imagine. So it worked out, you see."
“You’re silly.” Ruby slowly leans over Jake and tickles him with her hair. “You want to know what I thought?”
"Ya, tell me. Only one of us can read thoughts you know."
Ruby giggles again. “I thought you were trouble. I knew it right from the beginning. I even told Kate. I wanted to save you from our halfling friend, but maybe I also wanted you for myself.”
"Yeah, I would imagine so. I was quite appealing needing a bath, shave and eyes so red they were nearly bleeding." Jake laughs.
Ruby doesn’t laugh, she smiles gently. “It was the mischievous twinkle that was in your drunken eyes.” Ruby lies on her back too, setting her gaze into the dark night sky. “And I knew you’d be trouble for me.” She lies quietly for a while before she speaks again. Without looking at Jake, “So, how come you don’t want to get married?”
"Old Caleb White once told me that marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence." Jake chuckles but stops when he notices Ruby isn't laughing. "The question is why would I want to get married? The one time a woman wanted to marry me was for reasons of her own that seemed to have very little to do with Jake Cook."
“You didn’t answer the question.” Ruby continues to look up into the sky, purposely avoiding Jake’s gaze.
"I did answer the question. Why would I want to get married? What do I need that a piece of paper from a judge would bring me?"
“Oh. Ok.” Ruby still looks up at the sky but Jake notices the slightest turn of her head away from him.
"I suppose that was the wrong answer."
Ruby replies flatly, “At least you were honest.” She sits up and pours herself some wine, drinking it slowly. “It’s not exactly a 'sweep your woman off her feet' kind of answer.”
"I see." He turns on his side towards Ruby. "Suddenly my woman decides she wants to be married after many denouncements. What do you need from Jake Cook that the piece of paper gives you?"
Ruby replies quickly, “I didn’t say that, I mean that I wanted to get married…But…” She lowers her head and looks into the glass of wine. She swirls it around and around in the glass, wishing she hadn’t asked the question in the first place. “I never wanted to get married because I didn’t want someone owning me.” She finally looks at Jake, “But you’re not like that.” She looks back into her glass. “I know you said you were never going to get married but I guess I was hoping that you loved me enough to change your mind. Even if it was just a thought.”
"So because I haven't proposed marriage to you I don't love you enough? That seems harsh." Jake picks at the blanket. "Depends on what you value I suppose. I feel like I need to earn your devotion everyday. Do married men feel that way?"
“I didn’t say that,” she responds quickly, “That you don’t love me enough, I didn’t say that.” She looks into Jake’s eyes again. “And you have my devotion; you don’t need to earn it everyday, it’s yours.” She looks back into her glass and watches the sediment settle to the bottle after she stops spinning it. “I don’t know what married men feel like. I’m sorry that you feel that way though I’m not sure why you do.”
She finishes the wine then lies back on the blanket. “I was thinking, maybe things would stop happening if they, people, knew we were together. You know, like this thing with Turner. He wouldn’t have gotten any ideas in the first place. Or Eastman. I know it sounds stupid but I’m tired of it, for both of us.”
"I suspect you will believe me when I say I am every bit as tired as you over Eastman and Turner. A man who becomes one with death and cares not a whit for how anyone feels is not going to be dissuaded from his prey just because we had a marriage license to wave in front of him. Turner takes no regard whether you are married or not. Eastman considered me trash, what difference would it make to him whether we were married or not? He would have offered me the money either way. He was certain I would take it, married or no."
Ruby sighs, “It’s not just about Turner or Eastman; it’s about all of them. In case you haven’t noticed, it keeps happening. It’s always happened. And it will continue to happen. For Pete’s sake, Jake, now even the dead won’t leave me alone!” she says exasperatedly. “I want to be just a singer, I don’t want to be Ruby West the saloon girl with a past anymore. I want to be Ruby, Jake’s girl and the best singer around, wherever we end up. I don’t want men thinking they can have me. And they think it Jake, you know that I know they think it, I’ve heard them think it. Every time you ask me to do that spell I hear it. Even Chester thought it!” She turns her face towards Jake, “You can’t excuse away all of them too.”
"Up until now you seemed to hold no respect for the institution of marriage. You are suddenly a convert? How can you be so certain nothing would change between us if we were married? How can you be so certain that it is good for us?" Jake also lies back on the blanket facing the stars. "I can just see it now. Silver Jake Cook comes home after a long night at the saloon. His beautiful wife waiting patiently at home in her gingham dress, with her hands clasped together and standing in the doorway of their white washed house. She has hot dinner on the table and a fresh pie in the oven." Jake tries hard not to laugh.
Ruby’s eyes widen and she starts pulling on her hair. “You promised me forever and I promised you. You didn’t say anything about wanting your girl to cook and wear silly dresses. And if that’s what you want then why are you with me? What would change that wouldn’t already change over time?”
Ruby rolls on her side towards Jake and while she is talking her hands deftly unbutton his shirt and slip it off. “I never said I didn’t respect marriage. But other people’s marriages aren’t my business and if someone wants to break their own vows and promises, so be it. If I decide to take someone’s husband as my lover,” she lightly runs her fingers across his chest, “He’s breaking the promise, not me. I try my best not to break promises I make, real promises I make, you should know that by now.”
Ruby again sits up and pours a big glass of wine, drinking most of it in a few gulps. She has her back slightly to Jake, so when she removes her own undershirt and tugs at her skirt strings he can only see her smooth back caressed by her hair in the moonlight. “You want the truth? I never wanted to get married because I never found someone I wanted to spend my life with. Someone I could love and trust.” She looks over her shoulder at him for only a second before she slips his shirt onto her arms and pulls it up, buttoning a couple of buttons. She lies back down next to him and looks him in the eyes. “I’m absolutely crazy about you. I love you more than anything and I want everyone to know it. And I want you to want them to know it too. To know you’re mine and no one else can have you. To make sure you’re not going anywhere on me. For ME to know I’m not going anywhere on you.” She reaches out her hand and tenderly caresses Jake’s face. “If it’s only a piece of paper then why does it matter to you if you have it?”
"So who are we kidding? We both know that a marriage license is more than just a piece of paper. We have both seen times it is not worth the paper it was printed on too." He sits up and pulls off his boots and massages his feet for a moment. "I've never felt this way about anyone, I've never done the things I do for you for anyone, and damn I've never even been true to anyone before you. I am still trying to figure out what makes it work, so I can make it keep working. Now you are asking me to change it. What if changing it breaks the alchemy that holds us together?"
From her laying position Ruby can’t really see Jake’s face as he’s speaking. But he can hear the hurt tone in her voice as she responds quietly, “Is it really that much work keeping us together? It’s not supposed to be hard and definitely not as hard as you make it sound.” She hears a slight rustling noise and she tilts her head up to see the puppies playing with something. She sits up to get a better look at them, “I didn’t think that much would change, just a ring on a finger to back up words already spoken. And a guarantee to you that I wouldn't be leaving.” She furrows her brows as she listens intently to the puppies playing. She grabs Jake’s boots and slides them on. Standing and looking down at Jake she says, “How can you promise someone forever when you don’t even know if you can make things work?”
She lets that thought hang as she walks over to where the puppies are. Jake watches intently as Ruby approaches slowly, then sends a small rattling snake flying across the stream with the toe of Jake’s boot. She comes back to the blanket but stands at the edge a few moments, staring at Jake while dressed in his shirt and boots with her hair blowing in the cool night air.
Damn, she looks good in everything, Jake muses.
She looks up to the stars and smiles. “They are so bright tonight.” She kneels down on the blanket next to Jake, sitting on the heels of his boots. She picks up the bottle of wine and takes a gulp, not bothering with the glass. She offers the bottle to Jake but remains silent.
Jake sits up and accepts the bottle and looks it at, buying himself time. He swishes it around and takes a small taste. He shrugs and then has a longer drink. He hands it back. "Don't misunderstand my words. I didn't say it was hard work, just that I wanted to have it keep working. Are you telling me this has been no change for you? You haven't done something and worried if I would be mad? You haven't decided against something that at first you thought would be harmless but weren't sure if I would be hurt by it?"
Jake lays back down looking at the stars. "I am a bit surprised by your sudden concern. I thought I was spending all my time keeping us alive and together. I'm sorry if my little joke about the gingham dress and house made you upset, I didn't realize you were worried about us. I never said I would never get married, I don't even remember what I said. I spent the last five years before coming to Promise City just living from day to day. So I only ever thought about what I wanted for the next morning. One day I wake up and discover I have those things I wanted. I also discovered that I got more. Since then it seems that our lives have been at some risk, so I have been a little bit occupied." He sounds a little hurt as well.
"No, I never said I wanted my girl to cook and wear silly dresses. You never asked me what I wanted years from now. I'll save you the question; I don't know what I want years from now. I've never thought about it. With the exception of the repeated attempts on my life lately, I thought things were mighty fine and have been attempting to preserve them the way they are. I don't want to lose what I have gained. I don't rightly know that getting married is a good thing or not. You seem sure it is."
Jake rolls on his side facing Ruby. "How can I promise someone forever? You caught me on that one. That is my heart talking. You somehow imagine that Silver Jake Cook, your knight in shining armor, has it all figured out. I have all these grandiose plans that solve every problem. I'm sorry princess, I don't. I mostly figure it out as I go along. I wished and hoped and prayed once for something very important to me long ago and I was crushed when it didn't happen. I learned the hard way, that you need to take things into your own hands, that wishes just run through your fingers like water and are gone. That is how I got by."
Jake suddenly stands up and sighs in a nearly violent expulsion of breath. "But since meeting you I have broken my own rule. I have wished and hoped and even have prayed to that bastard god of mine to keep you safe and with me. So you have pushed your way to the truth of it. You and I are like two lightening rods sitting on a pile of dynamite just begging the world to set us off. Forgive me if I worry that something we change might be just what it takes for a lightening strike." Jake rubs his eyes and then turns and walks to the stream. On the way he steps on a sharp stick and curses. At the stream he stands quietly attempting to control his breathing. He picks up a stone from the edge and throws it in aways down the stream.
Ruby continues to sit on the blanket and has a few more sips of wine. She watches Jake stand at the stream for moments, the puppies following him, lying at his feet. She smiles at them for in their own way they look to be protecting Jake, guarding him from some unseen enemy. She waits, unsure of what to say or do. Finally she stops thinking and follows her heart.
She stands quietly and approaches him from behind. She wraps her arms around Jake’s waist, letting her hands rest on his hipbones. She softly plants a couple of kisses on his smooth back before resting her chin on his shoulder. She speaks softly into his ear. “I’m sorry if I put pressure on you baby, I didn’t mean to. I was only trying to figure out how you felt.” She kisses his ear. “I only want what you want, for you to be safe and with me. I wish and hope and pray the same things as you do. And someone must be watching and answering because we are both still here against the odds.”
She squeezes him tighter and keeps her breath heavy in his ear. “There is one thing we see differently though. You think we’re like lightening in the storm, waiting to strike, waiting to be destructive and devastating. I think we’re like each other’s shelter from the storm. We protect each other from the thunder and lightening and rain. And we’re warm and comfy and dry for each other, protection and comfort when we need it.”
She nuzzles Jake’s neck before continuing, “Yes, things have been different for me and I still have to try and I make mistakes, I admit it. But you know how Old Caleb White once told you that marriage was the triumph of imagination over intelligence? I’d much rather live in this made up dream of you and me than my old reality any day.”
"I won't rely on dreams. I won't be a fool and be burnt again." Jake says rather forcefully. He puts his hands on hers. Still looking across the stream he says in a gentler tone, "I trust your life is better than it used to be, but it's not a dream Ruby West. This is real. For now you'll just have to put up with old Silver Jake Cook's peculiarities on the matter. Currently I've no time to ponder where we are headed years from now. I am content to cherish what we have and stack the odds so that we can't lose it." He sighs and pulls her arms tighter around him. "Pity the man or monster that tries to take you away from me."
She continues to hold him tight and keep her head on his shoulder. “Don’t take my dreams away from me Jake. Too long I went without them. I’d like to imagine us old and wrinkly cuddling on our saloon porch swing, drinking bourbon and telling stories to the kids about the old days, when we were young and crazy. And the only thing that really changed is that we love each other even more than we do now.”
"Instead of being young and crazy we'd be old and crazy?" Jake chuckles. "Poor Jeff, now he has to build a swing too."
Ruby giggles and squeezes Jake before letting go. “No he doesn’t, I bought one at the festival last weekend.”
She walks around and stands facing him, looking him in the eyes. “I know I’ve changed a lot recently. I’m not exactly the girl you fell in love with almost 4 months ago. But things are different for me now and I won’t go back,” she says stubbornly.
She relaxes and sighs softly, “I’m sorry Jake, I’ll try to keep being that girl as much as I can. But I have to think about my future now. I don’t want to go back to living day by day, living the life I was living. Maybe you were ok with it, but I’m not anymore. It’s not good enough and I deserve more than what I was doing to get by.”
She places a hand on his cheek, “I’m hoping you’ll be a part of that future but maybe you won’t, we never know where life will take us or what destiny has in store. So you’re right, we should just enjoy it while we can.”
"When you say it like that it makes me sound like such a doomsayer." He is quiet and strokes her arms. "I wasn't trying to say I didn't want to be part of your future. It's just... I mean, I've never... The future to me was always counted in days up until now." Silence. "You are still the girl I fell in love with months ago. I have no desire to go back. We'd be fools not to enjoy every day while we can, but not because there is no future. Ruby, I.... You need to... What I mean is... Blast. Ruby, just be patient with me."
Ruby places her fingers on Jake’s lips and gives him a soft smile. “You know I’m not a patient kind of girl. But for you, baby, I’d do anything. Now do something for me and take me to bed. All this chatting is making me so tired,” she says with a fake exaggerated yawn. A mischievous grin appears on Ruby’s face and Jake knows she isn’t exactly saying what she means as she grabs at his belt buckle and tugs on it.
He scoops her up and hops over the dogs towards the blankets. Halfway there he curses again, "What were the chances that I'd step on that damn stick a second time?!?” He hops on one foot twice before stumbling; he recovers just enough to land with a grunt on the blanket with a squealing Ruby on top of him. "Well here we are. Ow," he says alternating between wincing and laughing, "I think that is going to leave a bruise.” He reaches up with one hand and deftly unbuttons his shirt that Ruby is wearing before pulling her down on the blanket. "From what I can see, the future looks bright...."
Ruby giggles, “Oh no… no future… you’d better be all here in the present baby.” She puts her hands behind Jake’s neck and insistently pulls him to her, ending in a deep passionate kiss. “I’m really liking right now.” She wraps her long legs around him and they stay up late into the night enjoying the present under the clear star filled sky.
Although the morning sun tried to push its way through Jake's closed eyelids the morning was warm and comfortable and he resisted. Finally when he could stand the burning rays on his bare skin no longer he stirred. Ruby isn’t next to him, and he is not surprised being so late in the morning. Then he has a sudden moment of panic and sits erect.
Ruby is sitting on her feet in the stream, the water waist high, her red hair piled in a wild nest on top of her head. She is slowly cupping water in her hand and pouring it over herself, trying to scrub some of the dirt off. The puppies play on the edge of the stream, pouncing in and out of the water, trying to catch minnows. She notices Jake is awake and waves to him. “Morning! Well I’m guessing it’s almost afternoon now.”
Jake looks at the sun and guesses it is mid morning. He rubs some sleep from his eyes.
She continues to bathe in the cool stream as she rambles, “I’ve been doing some thinking and you were right baby. What was I thinking last night? Must have been the wine speaking, that or the incident with the dead guy. Why would I ever want or need to get married? I’ve always valued my freedom and never wanted to be tied down to anything, anyplace or anyone. So it seems silly, right? To promise someone forever like that, even if it is you, I would be nuts. You know I love you and you don’t need a silly ring to prove it.” She shrugs, “So what if people think I sleep around, that’s no different than any other town I’ve been in. Well, ok, it may have been true in the other towns I’ve been in but, well, you know the truth and that’s all that matters, right? Besides, I doubt I’ll want to stay in Promise City forever, maybe not even that much longer and you might decide you want to stay. Like you said, we don’t even know how we work so doing something like that would just be foolish. I don’t like making promises to you I can’t keep.” She finally stops rambling as she looks Jake in the eyes, “I really don’t know what I was thinking.”
He rises silently and makes his way carefully to the stream, purposely stopping to grab the sharp stick and tossing it far away. He continues walking right into the stream and exclaims, "Mierda! That is cold." He continues over and plops with a splash into the stream not far away. "Ah! Hermes." He splashes some water on his face.
"You don't know what you were thinking, huh?" Jake looks around the clearing. The long soft grasses are waving slowing in the faint breeze while the little stream gurgles around them. "Who are you attempting to give an out to, you or me? If it's me then stop it, I'm not looking for a way out." He groans a bit and shifts his body to a less uncomfortable spot on the rocks. "Why are you always so sure I'm ready to head for the hills over every little thing? Unless you are really feeling trapped...."
Ruby looks down into the water and a blush comes to her cheeks. She spends some quiet minutes trying to figure out what to say. Without looking up, “It’s not that I think you’ll leave. I know you won’t leave me or you wouldn’t fight so hard to keep me. And why would I bring up… you know… what we talked about last night if I was feeling trapped? The point was to stay together.” She lazily waves her fingers back and forth in the cool stream. “I was thinking maybe I would stop thinking about leaving all the time too.” She looks back up at Jake, some of her long hair starting to fall off her head, framing her face and gently blowing in the warm breeze. “I just… I thought that is what you would want to hear I guess. You don’t like the idea and I don’t want to scare you away from me.” Ruby hangs her head again. “And I’m embarrassed I brought it up especially after telling you all those times it’s not what I wanted. It really was a silly idea.”
"Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.” Jake starts to splash water on his chest but lets out a small gasp when the water hits his upper body and he stops. "I'm more than a little surprised. No matter now, it has been said.” He moves a little and thrusts his body into the water, followed by some rather quick scrubbing and then stands upright. "We are in the middle of the blasted desert, how can the water be so cold?”
He talks as he shakes the water off himself. "I spend most of my time not worrying about much. When I do worry, I worry about everything. What if getting married does change how we feel? What if one or both doesn't feel like they have to worry about the others feelings any more because they are safely married? Or what if we suddenly start thinking we have to behave like married folks, whatever that is? What if all those feelings of security you think you will get being married don't happen, then what? What if....” Jake suddenly laughs. "Sorry, see what I mean?"
Ruby quickly leans back and puts her whole head under the cool water, giving herself time to think. A million answers want to run from her mouth. Instead she pulls her head out of the water and replies quietly as she plays with her hair, “I GET the point Jake. We’re not getting married. I said it was a stupid foolish idea and I was stupid and foolish for bringing it up and I feel stupid and foolish now. Ok?” She looks away from Jake and back to messing with her wet hair, pulling it into a messy knot. “Not getting married, not tying me or you down and not giving you any more reason to worry. So you don’t need to worry about it anymore. I won’t bring it up or even think about it.” Ruby stands and stretches. “It’s nice to be clean.” She starts walking past Jake to the side of the stream.
Jake opens his mouth to speak several times but nothing comes out of it. He shakes his head and mumbles, "Some days that silver tongue just seems to be tied in knots." He sighs, "I missed a good opportunity to shut up again too." He follows her out of the stream.
Ruby lies on the blanket and fans her hair out around her. "Did I ever mention that I love the sun...?” She gets comfortable on the blanket wiggling her butt here and there. She closes her eyes and is quiet for a moment before speaking again. "But you know..." She opens her eyes and leans up on her elbows. "It does trouble me that you think something as simple as a ring could change the way we feel about each other. I know in my heart a ring... or another person... or time... isn't going to change how I feel about you. I'm sorry that you don't feel the same way."
Rather than feeling sheltered from the storm, Jake has the sudden impression that he is holding the lightening rod. You are sorry? Or is it more accurate to say you are getting angry, he thinks. "Ruby, it is never my intention to leave you feeling troubled. I am sorry for that."
"I just realize now that you aren't as sure of us lasting as I am. I thought we were both over that." She shrugs. "I can't explain how I know, I have faith and I feel it in my heart that you and I are just meant to be together. So putting on a ring isn't going to change how I feel about you. But I understand it might take time for you to come to the same conclusion." Ruby lies back down on the blanket, the drops of water on her skin glistening in the sun as they melt. "But why don't you come over here and join me," she pats the blanket next to her, "And shower me with attention and affection to make me forget your doubts about us."
That was not exactly a sweep your guy off HIS feet invitation. Jake sits on the blanket next to her. "The sun is getting hot."
Ruby opens her eyes and sits up again, “What’s wrong? I thought you just wanted things to be the way they were, I mean, are. Isn’t that what you said? Isn’t that what I’m giving you?”
Ruby sighs, then wiggles closer to Jake. She throws her legs over his. She puts her hand on his face, caressing his stubbly cheek, carefully studying his features. She pushes some stray hair off his face and looks into his eyes. “You’re so handsome baby.” She cocks her wet head and continues to stare. “And what can I say more than I love you and can you blame me for wanting to guarantee that you’ll always be with me? That I want everyone to know you’re mine?” She puts her face up close to his. “I didn’t think I was asking that much, not that much more than you wanted to give. So won’t you forgive me? Pllleeeaaassseeee bbaabbbbyyyy,” she pleads, her emerald green eyes sparkling at him.
"No reason then. Just my overactive worrying again." He glances up at the sun. "I don't know how you do it, but my pale English skin will burn out here. You never seen to burn at all."
She places her hands on both sides of his face and pushes her nose up against his. "Stop worrying, and that's not a request." She smiles and finally laughs. "I'm English too. But I never do burn, you're right." She shrugs playfully, "Just luck I guess. Besides tan skin looks nice with my red hair, which as you know is also a strange Harrington family trait," she giggles. "But I guess we'd better leave so you don't get burnt then."
The thought of going back to the Lucky Lady immediately dampens Ruby's mood and Jake can see her start to tense up as she rises and starts gathering her clothes.
