A dilema

Griffonsec · Dec 4, 2005

Ok, so here's the deal. I have five players in my group, and two of them, one of the guys and the resident female, have begun to get a little... close. As in, they spend an aweful lot of time sitting on my couch making out.

The problem is, she's married, and though her husband and I aren't close or anything I concider all three of them friends.

Now, my first wife cheated on me, so this kind of behavior puts me on edge, but I'd hate to break up the group because a couple of people got stupid. Especially since I'm not exactly sure what's going on. Still, I hate to sacrifice my own morals by letting something obviously wrong go on under my roof.

So, any ideas as to a plan of action. Should I just give up and drop the two and tell her husband? Is it enough to just as them to cut it out?

It's tough. I think I should probably say something, but who wants to be the guy that tells you that your wife is messing aroung? And, since we're not really close, he may not even believe me.

Turanil · Dec 4, 2005

Kill both of their characters, and give their stuff to the husband's character.

Mmmmh...

Well, it seems a difficult problem...

Well, still the first proposal : as a DM be unfair to both players until they quit the game exasperated. Then, try to get two new players.

Can't think of anything else...

dave_o · Dec 4, 2005

Tell them to piss off and get a room, and tell her husband that they have pissed off and gotten a room.

lior_shapira · Dec 4, 2005

I think if it messes up the game you have to tell them to quite it, regardless of marital status. If it's ok by you that two players spend the session making out / flirting then it's probably not your business

lior

Geron Raveneye · Dec 4, 2005

Griffonsec said:
Still, I hate to sacrifice my own morals by letting something obviously wrong go on under my roof.

Well, from my point of view, this is a question of gaming much less than a question of your own morals and how much you want to stand up for them. You obviously think what is happening there is wrong, and feel reminded of your own personal bad experiences by it. On top of it, you consider all three involved friends of yours. A friend, in my eyes, would tell those two couch-hoggers that they please quit what they are doing, if not completely, then at least while they are at his place, and also tell them that he thinks they are doing the wrong thing, and why he thinks so. If they are friends, they'll listen to it and respect your wish to not see it around your place. If they get their tights in a knot over it, the status of "friends" might have to be reconsidered. Telling the husband might lead to a really nasty mess, so that'd be something reserved for if you really want to break things up, because as long as he and his wife aren't in an "open marriage" by consent, it can make things go BOOOM very fast.

Not to sound cheesy, but in the end it's a question of which course of action lets you look at yourself in the mirror while thinking about it without spitting. Life's unfair like that. :\

IamTheTest · Dec 4, 2005

I think that youd be slightly out of place telling the husband since hes not that close. Id ask your two players not to swap fluids at your place. Keep it civil and all should be well. I wouldnt lie to the husband if for any reason he should ask...but I wouldnt make trouble. YMMV, Im just a silly college kid.

**Id like to change my answer to what TheEvil said**

Lord Pendragon · Dec 4, 2005

If you don't tell the husband about this, then you are not his friend. Close, distant, whatever, no kind of friend keeps that kind of information to himself. And if you do keep it to yourself and he finds out, then he'll know you're not his friend.

So if you want to keep him as your friend, you tell him. If not, or if you'd rather keep the wife/make-out partner as your friend, you don't.

It's unfortunate, but I don't really think there's any way for you to get out of this situation with all three friends. The two on the couch have intentionally made you partisan to their activities, and you need to choose whether to follow along, or turn away.

That's just from the loyalty angle.

Morally, I've been in this situation before, and I generally don't judge friends and how they conduct their romantic lives. If they ask for advice or my opinion, then I give them the honesty a friend deserves. But if they choose not to discuss it with me, then a friend knows when not to pry. I am not my friends' mothers or priests. I don't try and assume that role.

Lastly, there's your discomfort. You have a history, and regardless of any other issues, you don't like to see someone cheating on their mate in your home.

So because it makes you uncomfortable, you tell them to knock it off in your home.
And if you are more loyal to the husband, you tell him, because that's what friends do.
If you're more loyal to the wife/make-out partner, you don't tell the husband.
If you don't feel like any of the three of them are really your friends, then you find better people to game with.

Aeson · Dec 4, 2005

This is a tough one. If you don't want to get invovled in the affair then just ask them nicely to keep their hands to themselves. If this is the only time they can get the alone time they need to do it somewhere else.

If you feel the need to tell the husband. Which if this was my wife I would want to know. Ignorance is not bliss. I would talk to him.

LostSoul · Dec 4, 2005

Griffonsec said:
this kind of behavior puts me on edge, but I'd hate to break up the group because a couple of people got stupid.

Just tell them you're not comfortable with their behaviour and you'd rather they didn't do it around you.

If they get upset, tell them that you're there to play a game, not to watch people make out.