Top 10 odd D&D weapons

[DreadPirateMurphy]

While I am far from an expert on medieval weaponry, and I appreciate artistic license, there are some weapons proposed for D&D 3.x that just seem mind-bogglingly impractical. Perhaps somebody can point out the utility of some of these beyond being "kewl."

1) Whip-daggers: Did anybody ever actually create such a weapon? Whips strike me as falling into the category of "agricultural tools used as improvised weapons." What would be the point of tying a dagger to the end of one, rather than just learning to throw knives?

2) Sugliin: Here you have a big wrack of sharpened antlers so unwieldy that you have to spend two feats just to use it as a normal weapon. The tactical problems for this are mind-boggling, especially given the fact that you'll probably draw the eye of every archer in sight.

3) Mercurial Swords: Explain the attraction of a using a deliberately unbalanced weapon that is likely to spew a highly toxic substance if sundered.

4) Orc Shotput: The perfect counterpoint to the Orc javelin team. Spend 10 gp on a 15 lbs. chunk of iron...or just go and find a rock to throw.

5) Musical Instrument Bayonets: Presented in Song and Silence, and instantly ludicrous to anybody who has actually used a real musical instrument. If you want to destroy your instrument in combat, just whack somebody with it.

6) Scorpion Claws: This weapon from Sandstorm is exactly what it sounds like...monstrous scorpion claws you wear on your hands. Besides making it rather difficult to scratch an itch, I can't help but mentally hear the "crab people" theme from South Park running in the background.

7) Caber: If I recall correctly, this was offered in Masters of the Wild. It was a log that you throw at people. I never understood why this counted as a weapon rather than as improvised use of scenery.

8) Two-Bladed Sword: This weapon led directly to one of the oddest miniatures from WotC, a man in full plate armor wielding one of these. That would probably be the only way to wield one without slicing off your fingers, come to think of it.

9) Spike Shooter: This appeared in Races of Faerun. Any weapon with a spike on the end could be set to launch it as a spring-loaded surprise. Possibly inspired by giant robot anime, I don't understand how you could avoid accidentally shooting it off whenever you swung your battle axe.

10) Icechucker: Ah, here we have a crossbow designed to fire icicles. Oh, and it can fire javelins too, if you actually want to use something balanced and aerodynamic.

Bonus) Vulcanian Thunder Club: This was originally printed in Dragon #304, and it made it into Paizo's Best of Dragon Compendium. While I like the book, I am less enamored with the idea of a greatclub filled with alchemist's fire and shot. It is never explained how you can set it off with the pull of a string, but not by whacking it against your foe (possibly inadvertantly).

There are a few more that come to mind, but 10+1 will do.

[Piratecat]

I see a distinct lack of bohemian earspoons. Fie on you, I say. Fie!

(Yes, I know its a normal pole arm and not odd silliness. But it has the best name ever.)

[Vorput]

Very good points... I really wanna run into an NPC with a mercurial greatsword now that the idea of sundering it has been brought to my attention...

Vorp

[lukelightning]

Two-bladed sword made your list but not dire flail!?!?!?

I'll add:

Halfling skiprocks.... pebbles that both do lethal damage and defy physics!

Boomerangs. They don't work that way. Boomerangs are not effective weapons; the hunting boomerangs used by Australian aborigines were not technically boomerangs (in that they don't have a curved path and just go straight when you throw them...which is what you want a thrown weapon to do).

[Shade]

(Yes, I know its a normal pole arm and not odd silliness. But it has the best name ever.)

Amen to that!

What about the ever-loony gyrspike? A flail hooked on a sword....wha?

[Piratecat]

I was amused that the "scythe" on 7th season Buffy was nothing more than a dwarven urgosh. And you can damn well believe that I felt like a geek when I put that together...

[Shade]

I'm surprised the glaive from Krull never made it in as an exotic weapon. Now that was one ridiculous weapon.

[Jedi_Solo]

There acually is an event called the Caber Throw (or Caber Toss). Most likley you'll find one in lumberjack style competitions and yes; they basically throw tree trunks.

This isn't to say that trying to use one as a weapon is a good idea, but I can actually see how the idea for the stat block could come up. Not how it actually made it all the way into the book mind you, but at least how it came up in the first place.

After all; what is a DM to do if a party of PCs wanders into the middle of a Caber Toss?

[Jedi_Solo]

I'm surprised the glaive from Krull never made it in as an exotic weapon. Now that was one ridiculous weapon.

I'm just waiting or the sword from Sword and the Sorcerer or the sword form the end of Brotherhood of the Wolf to make it into the books. Both completely and utterly ludicrus weapons and both style you just KNOW someone has tried to create in real life.

The Sword and the Sorcerer weapon was a three bladed sword (think a pitchfork only with sword blades and a shorter handle) where the outside two blades could be launched as projectiles. Yup, someone in the movie dies from having sword blades shot at him like a gun.

The Brotherhood of the Wolf sword could segment itself out to resemble a whip with large sword like sections. (This is also the weapon Ivy uses in the Soul Calibur games for any who play that series.) And how, exactly, is the mechanics of this supposed to work? Whip chains are nasty enough (believe me, I have used them in real life in martial arts classes) I do NOT want them laced with large razer blades.

[Jyrdan Fairblade]

I missed those. Something tells me my campaign isn't missing out. Absolutely absurd... What's next, a vorpal hurdy-gurdy?

A lot of those "kewl" weapons sound like things we would've came up with when we were 14.

5) Musical Instrument Bayonets: Presented in Song and Silence, and instantly ludicrous to anybody who has actually used a real musical instrument. If you want to destroy your instrument in combat, just whack somebody with it.