eris404
Explorer
We were discussing dice rituals in our group. One of our friends has the worst luck and also the worst taste in dice - his are quite ugly - and Dread October came up with this Dice-orcism. These are his words, unedited. Enjoy!
Day One -
Step 1: Lay all dice on a table.
Step 2: Surround them with nice things like coffee and sweets.
Step 3: Leave them during the day this way with soft music playing.
Step 4: leave them on the same table but place a cloth with sheen beneath them.
Step 5: Pour glass of classy beverage
Step 6: Leave book of poetry, Pablo Naruda or EE Cummings next to table.
Leave Over night
Day Two -
Step 1 - Before dawn, rush into kitchen waving flashlight.
Step 2 - grab Dice roughly while yelling in foreign language.
Yell things that make no sense. "Donde Esta El Cornejo?" or "Parly vous mon keister!!!!" or Qual Caballero Es Villano Quatro???"
Step 3 - Throw Dice into old sock.
Step 4 - Bang Sock on table
Step 5 - Soak Sock in Cold Water for an hour
Step 6 - Throw Sock in Freezer for 2 hours.
Step 7 - Remove Sock from Freezer.
Step 8 - Take Sock into living room and watch some good sh*t. Do not remove dice from sock.
Step 9 - Hang sock upside down in closet minus the d20. That die goes in a new sock and back in the freezer.
End Day 2
Day 3 -
Step 1 - Start the day with a breakfast involving bacon.
Step 2 - Enjoy it.
Step 3 - Have coffee too. And a cigarette.
Step 4 - Remove dice from socks. Sit socks with 1's facing upward next to blender.
Step 5 - get empty Ice Tray, add water, add Dice, freeze.
Step 6 - Thaw Dice
Step 7 - Roll Dice
All unfavorable results are dice that go in blender. Do not blend. The rest bring to game. In a silk bag no less.
End Day 3
Day 4 -
Roll blender dice and if they dissatisfy, destroy them. Utterly. And one of the good dice too.
That'll keep them in line.
Acquire replacement dice, as ugly as previous dice.
It will set up a) a certain healthy level of mistrust amongst dice and b) the need to perform so these dice someday meet Mr. Blender.
Game on.
Day One -
Step 1: Lay all dice on a table.
Step 2: Surround them with nice things like coffee and sweets.
Step 3: Leave them during the day this way with soft music playing.
Step 4: leave them on the same table but place a cloth with sheen beneath them.
Step 5: Pour glass of classy beverage
Step 6: Leave book of poetry, Pablo Naruda or EE Cummings next to table.
Leave Over night
Day Two -
Step 1 - Before dawn, rush into kitchen waving flashlight.
Step 2 - grab Dice roughly while yelling in foreign language.
Yell things that make no sense. "Donde Esta El Cornejo?" or "Parly vous mon keister!!!!" or Qual Caballero Es Villano Quatro???"
Step 3 - Throw Dice into old sock.
Step 4 - Bang Sock on table
Step 5 - Soak Sock in Cold Water for an hour
Step 6 - Throw Sock in Freezer for 2 hours.
Step 7 - Remove Sock from Freezer.
Step 8 - Take Sock into living room and watch some good sh*t. Do not remove dice from sock.
Step 9 - Hang sock upside down in closet minus the d20. That die goes in a new sock and back in the freezer.
End Day 2
Day 3 -
Step 1 - Start the day with a breakfast involving bacon.
Step 2 - Enjoy it.
Step 3 - Have coffee too. And a cigarette.
Step 4 - Remove dice from socks. Sit socks with 1's facing upward next to blender.
Step 5 - get empty Ice Tray, add water, add Dice, freeze.
Step 6 - Thaw Dice
Step 7 - Roll Dice
All unfavorable results are dice that go in blender. Do not blend. The rest bring to game. In a silk bag no less.
End Day 3
Day 4 -
Roll blender dice and if they dissatisfy, destroy them. Utterly. And one of the good dice too.
That'll keep them in line.
Acquire replacement dice, as ugly as previous dice.
It will set up a) a certain healthy level of mistrust amongst dice and b) the need to perform so these dice someday meet Mr. Blender.
Game on.
