I saved half the D&D group at least. Goodness gracious!

Sound of Azure · Aug 10, 2006

Presently I'm in DM world creation mode while the campaigns that I've been involved in are on break. I'm getting very excited about my new campaign, and am really looking forward to seeing what characters end up coming to the table (both Players and PCs).

I had a rant a few weeks back about niche players. I didn't call it a rant at the time, but I realise I was just blowing things out of proportion. Ah well. Anyway, I figured I can work with the players' preferences to a degree with some compromise in both directions if need be.

One player has moved away now (nothing I can do about that), leaving 4 players, possibly more if we invite anyone else. Two of the niche players I mentioned remain, though.

The fact that they are niche isn't so much a problem for me, now... but it seems to be for each other. Every time we get together socially they argue about which of their preferences is better. They also talk about each other behind each others' backs.

It's starting to become really "political", and is really driving everyone else crazy. Even so....the sides are starting to form. This group has been friends/acquaintances long before I came to this city, so it's distressing to see this fragmentation taking place.

I want to talk to them, but I really don't know how to go about it. Part of me just wants to give up entirely. I'm awful at RL conflict resolution.

I don't really want to boot either of them, as it's hard to find new players sometimes in my city. Also, I don't want to alienate these guys who are becoming good friends to me. And since my campaign will be largely experimental... might be hard to attract new folk to game with.

Possibly I am overblowing things again (feel free to point this out!

). So, does anyone have advice on this matter?

Thanks in advance.
-Sound of Azure, perpetual worry-wart

Crothian · Aug 10, 2006

Just sit down and tal;k with them all at once.

Sound of Azure · Aug 10, 2006

Well, we're having a get-together this weekend, so I'll give it a go then. I don't want to drag down the party atmosphere, though.

Waylander the Slayer · Aug 10, 2006

Just reminding people that it is only a game once in a while works wonders. The point is entertainment and enjoyment for all (just like life), so no need to get snippy etc.

Sound of Azure · Aug 10, 2006

Ah, reason. hehe.
Yeah, I don't think it would hurt to say something like that from time to time if things get heated. Maybe something I should remember too, at that. It is supposed to be a relaxing hobby, after all.

Anyhow, I'll see how it goes. Thanks for the perspective.

Tiew · Aug 10, 2006

Hmm, politics eh? Try to stay neutral as long as possible then in the end jump in with the side that seems stronger an share the spoils.

Or you could just talk to people as a group and call people out when they're ripping others behind their backs. I don't reccomend this though. It is not the way to achieve true power.

smootrk · Aug 10, 2006

Honestly, your groups sounds like it is self-destructing and it is likely that there is nothing you can do remedy it. I would make contingency plans for creation of a new group (and nothing keeps you from including individuals from the old group who 'play well'). You can at least keep a cool head during the transition, keeping away from the Out-Of-Game problems that will absolutely have to be ironed out between the individuals the problems pertain to... no sense in inserting yourself into that turmoil. Just keep yourself on game-topics, and be prepared for the fallout.

BlackMoria · Aug 10, 2006

Talk to the group as a whole and point out:

1. There is not right way or wrong way for preferences (I assume that is it class, feat, or PrC preferences the two are arguing about). It is personal opinion and opinion is not fact....it is just that - opinion. Discussing opinions is fine...arguing on points of opinion is not.

2. It is a game and the point of the exercise is a fun diversion for everyone. D&D is not a game of 'one man upmanship' or a competition between players - anyone who thinks that is completely missing the point.

3. Strife at the table is a mood killer and a fun killer. If a few players are not getting along, then noone else is enjoying the game. So, check the egos and attitudes at the door and have fun. If people can't do that, then as the DM who has the interest of the game and everyone at heart, you will 'make changes' to ensure a quallity time for everyone. And 'changes' may mean that certain people are no longer invited to the game.

Sit them tell and tell it straight up, using the points above as a quideline.

werk · Aug 10, 2006

Sound of Azure said:
I want to talk to them, but I really don't know how to go about it.

My suggestion would be to remind them that they are arguing who has the best make-believe hero. This is not important stuff, there is no one best answer, it's like which color is better red of yellow...they may have a favorite, but it is a subjective thing...no correct answer.

If they talk about the greatness of their imaginary doll, just tell them not to. If they talk about another person's character, tell them not to. No bragging, no teasing, no more! We're all friends, so it's time to act like it.

I don't think that is unreasonable, especially with regard to the insignificance of the issue and weight of the problem being caused.

I don't think it really needs to be resolved, it just needs to be prevented and ignored until it goes away. There must be some sort of positive reinforcement for this behavior, like everyone laughs when one guy makes fun of the other guy...you gotta stop that positive reinforcement and put a negative spin on it so the behavior will be discouraged.

ST · Aug 10, 2006

I'm sorry to say this, but from the description it doesn't sound like you can or should "save the group". If people in the group want incompatible things, and are unable to compromise, what possible outcome could you have that would be good for everyone?

Would you rather stay friends with these folks, but not play D&D with them, or risk not doing either?

The other point I'd like to make is, as GM you do not have the responsibility to make these people get along. The group as a whole needs to deal with these issues. The GM does have a responsibility to help a game run smoothly, but you can't really do that if there are these ugly unresolved external issues.