The Laws of the Dungeon

Michael Morris · Oct 25, 2006

1. If you can see the monsters, they can see you.
2. Remain inconspicuous. Shiny armor and flashy spells attract arrows, fireballs and worse.
3. Remember that doing anything in a dungeon can get you killed. This includes doing nothing.
4. If you are short on everything but enemies, you're in a combat zone.
5. Friendly Fire Isn't.
6. Never share a hiding spot with someone braver than yourself.
7. The easy way is trapped.
8. The hard way is through an ambush
9. The right way is hidden.
10. The most dangerous thing in a dungeon is a kender with a map.
11. Just because you can does not mean you should.
12. NPC's get to make crit rolls too.
13. Never, EVER claim to be bored, ESPECIALLY in front of the DM.
14. Dying isn't a problem - disintegration however...

Come up with more folks

Olgar Shiverstone · Oct 25, 2006

This is D&D: You are not Superman.

If it's silly and it works, you just rolled a natural 20.

All fireballs take up 5 more 10' squares than expected.

That minion you're ignoring is the BBEG.

XP Math: 6 orcs x 4 PCs = gain 1 level.

Gold math: 3 other PCs + me + my cohort = 2/5 share for me!

Wizards will run out of spells just when you need fire support desparately.

Clerics will run out of spells just as you run out of hit points.

Varianor Abroad · Oct 25, 2006

Doors without traps lead to doors with traps.

Levers are for pulling.

Magical springs are for drinking.

If you can kill something, you can take its stuff.

Aurora · Oct 25, 2006

Take a 5 foot step away from the big scary bad guy with the axe before casting.

Stalker0 · Oct 25, 2006

Varianor Abroad said:
Levers are for pulling.

But you should never ever ever pull a lever.

Michael Morris · Oct 25, 2006

Stalker0 said:
But you should never ever ever pull a lever.

Ever.

Nifft · Oct 25, 2006

"Welcome to the Dugeon!
We've got orcs 'n' traps.
We've got everything you want,
Honey you make the map.
We are the humanoids that've found,
Whatever you may need,
If you got the hit points honey,
We got your disease.

(Chorus)
In the dungeon,
Welcome to the dungeon,
Watch it drop you and shun n,n,n,n,,n,n,,n,n,n,,n,n,,n cleave, cleave,
I wanna watch you bleed!

Welcome to the dungeon,
We take it underground,
If you want it you're gonna bleed,
When I get my round,
And you're a high-charisma paladin,
It's hard to make you flee,
You can smite my dumb wights,
But you'll miss my phylactery,
In the dungeon,
Welcome to the dungeon
Feed my, my, my serpentine
I, I wanna hear you scream!

Welcome to the dungeon,
It gets worse here every night.
Ya learn ta live like an animal,
In the dungeon where we fight.
If you got a hunger for more GP,
You'll level eventually.
You can have all the loot you want,
But you better not take it from me.

(Chorus)

And when you're buffed you never,
Ever want to come down, so down, so down, so down YEAH!

You know where you are?
You're in the dungeon baby!
You're gonna die!
In the dungeon,
Welcome to the dungeon,
Watch it drop you and shu n,n,n,,n,n,,n,n,n,,n,n,,n,n,,n cleave, cleave,
In the dungeon,
Welcome to the dungeon,
Feed my, my, my serpentine!
In the dungeon,
Welcome to the dungeon,
Watch it drop you and your shun n,n,n,n,,n,n,,n,n,,n,n,,n.n, cleave, great cleave!
In the dungeon,
Welcome to the dungeon,
Watch it bring you to your,
It's gonna bring you down!
Ha!"

-- N

Simm · Oct 25, 2006

Rule 1: You do not talk about the dungeon!

HeavenShallBurn · Oct 25, 2006

Rules of the Dungeon
1.) Kill it first, you can always speak with dead
2.) Just shut up and kill it
3.) kill it again just in case
4.) Alchemist's Fire is you friend
6.) and always remember rapine, loot, then burn

Evilhalfling · Oct 25, 2006

More rules:

Sleeping in a dungeon should always be done inside a rope trick.

When the buff spells run out, its time to sleep.

The adimantium spoon is your friend.

At no time will it be necessary to remove your full plate for bathroom breaks.

Caves are never shallow, expcect any cave opening to have at least 3 rooms and 10x10 passages