the Jester's OLD story hour, UPDATED AT LAST!

For quite some time now I've been considering writing some of this stuff up for your enjoyment and digestion... To this end I hereby present the humble beginnings of a story hour set in Cydra, my campaign world... hope you all enjoy it! I'm starting back about ten games, so I'm sure I'll miss some of the details and get some of the rest wrong, but hopefully I'll get enough right to give you a taste of our gaming style and my campaign world.

To begin with, let me introduce our Heroes (or villains, as the case may be...)

First we have CLAMBAKE, subsequently Captain Clambake, but that comes a little later... This fellow is a dwarven cleric/psion who likes to throw his shield (emblazoned with his symbol, a clam) as a weapon. Like most dwarves, he is gruff, loves to drink and is fond of money.

Next is SITH, an orc from far-away Valonia. Sith is a currently CE (previously NE but magicall changed; later to change again) wizard with two levels of fighter. He fights with the spiked chain, likes to break pretty things, and is one of the party's powerhouses.

HORBIN THE HOLY is a cleric of Dexter, the Jesus-figure in the religion of Galador, the LG sun god. He is increasingly uncomfortable with the paths the party is choosing and is trying to save them from themselves. Horbin is CG.

MILOSH, a halfling who lived among orcs in disguise as first a gnome and then an orc. Unbeknownst to the rest of the party, Milosh was a halfling spy... but now the party is far from Valonia, on an entirely different continent, and Milosh's twin brother recently has recently died. Milosh is a sorcerer with two levels of rogue, shooting for the Eldritch Master prestige class.

Another of the party's halflings is VITO STEALYOURSTONE, a man with "connections and friends in powerful places" who's always offering to "do a favor" for people, and is always interested in making a profit.

The dwarf KRUNKSHANK is also travelling with the party, seeking to learn from Anvar, an elementalist npc of significant power that the party is with after succumbing to a geas to find him.

*Note: elementalist is a base class imc; think of a cleric with better weapons and more powerful spells in a single element. The real drawback is that any time an elementalist channels a spell they have to save against their own DC for that spell or suffer subdual damage! Elementalist spells are based on con and the whole thing is somewhat derived from the PO:S&M book's channelling system (2nd ed.)

And of course, there's Anvar: a master of earth and fire, he's learned to tap into the paraelement of magma as well (through the paraelementalist prestige class).

NOTE: The following post has some spoiler on Return to the Temple of Elemental Evil in it, but very much adapted to my campaign world. This is only in the What Has Gone Before section, so don't worry about it too much; but if you're playing the module, you might want to skip down to the next post. I'll keep all the spoilers in this one.







WHAT HAS GONE BEFORE:
The party, originally from Valonia (the continent ruled by the orcs) agreed to a geas to find Anvar, a missing apprentice who was allegedly last seen on the continent of Dorhaus, to which they travelled through something called an earthgate, which seemed to be a cave about 2000' long connecting the two places. After some investigations, the party learned he was investigating the Temple of Elemental Evil. In fact, it seemed likely that he was working with it! They tracked evil cultists to the Crater Ridge Mines and made a brief foray inside, but were spanked by the defenders. Regrouping and rethinking their tactics, the group decided that since they couldn't beat them, they'd join them. After being assigned to guard duty for weeks, they were sent (along with Wormspike the ogre) to investigate a possible candidate for the Champion of Elemental Evil. Though Wormspike died along the way, the party brought the raving Lareth to the temple, where he proved indeed to be the prophesized Champion. After another few weeks, they were at last told where to find Anvar: at the ruined Temple itself, helping begin the excavation of it.

At the ruins the party was forced to carry rocks for a day by a cruel beholder, then were finally allowed to meet with Anvar, a handsome, dark-skinned human man in mithral fullplate decorated with images of stalagmites and stalactites, gypsum flowers, crystals, etc. forged by dao. They told Anvar that his old master was concerned about him. The elementalist told the beholder that he'd be back after he'd settled the old man's fears, and the party left to escort him back to his master and finally end the geas.

But once away from the Temple, Anvar turned out to be seriously worried about the consequences of reactivating something called the "Nodes" in the temple, claiming that it could disrupt the elemental gates, such as the one the party came to Dorhaus through...

Trying to go home

STILL WHAT HAS GONE BEFORE BUT NO MORE SPOILERS FOR THE TEMPLE:


The party reaches the site of the earthgate that leads to the continent Anvar's master is on. They must inform him that he is with them if they are to be free of their geas. But instead of a 2000' long dry cave, they find it full of water, and the surrounding area looks as if it were exposed to a strong gusher for some time. There is a great deal of erosion and the caves have expanded. The party descends to check out the situation and is beset by sharks! They are in an area of water that varies in depth (the floor is extremely uneven); some areas, where water action was especially violent, are up to 25' deep, while others are only knee deep but are filled with a sucking mud. The party fights as best they can, disadvantaged by the environment; it takes them only a few moments to slay the sharks, but moments later they are attacked by another shark and two powerful sahuagin! Defeating them wears the group down, and they decide to retreat for the moment.

A grim Anvar tells them that the earthgate likely won't take them where they want to go anymore. "That was linked to a seagate, at least for a while," he says. "There's no telling where it would take us."

The party discusses their options, and eventually decide to head north to Var, where they hope to be able to find some sort of magical aid. After camping, they move north. Anvar claims to know of an underground river that will speed their passage, but they must travel a few weeks to reach it. As they go, they grumble collectively both about the geas that keeps them bound to this stupid task and about this rotten ugly continent.

Dorhaus is a rough place. For over a century a terrible evil creature named Fuligin held sway, summoning demon and devil hordes and telling them to kill all that was not evil- "Plant, animal, human, whatever; if it isn't evil, kill it." When he was finally destroyed the continent was immediately tended by many powerful groups, most notably the druids. Now there are small trees scattered around, much more life; but still, many monsters run rampant and friendly faces are few. The party encounters many monsters, and it is during this part of the journey that Krunkshank and Clambake join the party after the friendly-fire death of two pcs (one of whom was Milosh's twin brother).

And it is here that our story truly picks up...



The party never reaches Anvar's underground river; instead, as they are tromping into the Clay Hills, Milosh hears the sounds of a party. The group immediately moves to investigate, and atop a hill they find a feasting group of faeries. They are drawn in to the party, and one by one they succumb to it's fun and joy. There is much singing and dancing, drinking and eating of the fae food going on. Strange mushrooms are handed out; pipes smoking some purple weed circulate. Why, what fun! There are beauteous faerie females dancing nude or leaf-clothed to distract the eye, strange, delicious perfumes to attract the nose.

Clambake drinks happily but eats nothing. He meets a gregarious satyr named Bear, hairy and naked, showing his arousal when he eyes the ladies, and the two discuss the various charms of the females around until Bear says he needs to go "meet someone" and rushes into the dance, whirling up a fine-looking dryad (who giggles) and sprinting off with her into the bushes.

Sith is approached by Woodrue, a large, stern treant. "I don't like orcs," he rumbles.

"I, ah, don't want any trouble," mutters Sith. He's already extremely high from various faerie drugs.

"YOU STAY OUT OF TROUBLE," booms Woodrue. "I'm watching you."

Brownie servants run everywhere, filling cups with wine or nectar. There's even a unicorn present. Sith stays out of trouble, and it seems like the party could go on forever! No one manages to wonder how long they've been there. The singing and dancing never gets old...

The Fairy Avengers

The party is trapped in Faerieland, having been caught by the party. By now they've all failed at least one Will save and don't think of anything but the fun they're having: not going home, not how long have we been here, and certainly not the geas on them...

But the geas doesn't forget them. This may be the only time a party has ever been _saved_ by a geas. Because all of a sudden they all shudder as pain wracks them, except for the new party members, Krunkshank and Clambake. "Ow!" yells Milosh, and a bleary-eyed pixie looks up at him with a question on his face, but unfortunately for Milosh the pixie's invisible, and nothing prods him any further. The pain goes away and he goes back to drinking and dancing.

Sith, twitching from the damage he just took, tries to figure out what that was and makes a successful Spellcraft check. With a start he remembers the geas! "If we don't leave her, we'll die," he mutters to himself, and rises shakily from where he's sitting. He takes one last drink, and his brow furrows: someone put salt in it! Ah, well...

He staggers over to his companions, and though it takes a while he manages to drag them all away from the party. But the landscape around them is far different from where they came from. After a moment's debate, they decide to go back to the party and see if anyone can tell them how to get out.

"Why would you want to leave?" asks one faerie. The adventurers explain why they want to leave but the faeries are too busy partying to really help them. Finally, they get a piece of advice: "Just go through a faerie circle, stupid!"

So the party sets out, descending from the hills, hoping to stumble upon a faerie circle and not even knowing exactly what it is they seek. Milosh and Sith make an arrangement to look out for one another; Milosh feels much less secure about things since his brother's death.

Suddenly- an ambush! Without warning a javelin comes flying, and suddenly it's a lightning bolt, and the party is under attack! A fireball blasts into them before they can react. With a laugh that stuns half the party a korred emerges, flying into a rage and screaming in thickly-Scottish accented Sylvan that none of the party understands. This is ZWEITER. Following on his heels comes HUMBOLDT, a fey elf enchanter, already hasted, he tosses a Bonebreak spell at Milosh, snapping his ribs. Rounding out the trio of fairy avengers is CROWLEIGH, a fungus fairy rogue the party encountered back when they were 2nd level- and they killed his family. Now he's back for revenge, and he's 5th level to boot!

The battle is joined, with Milosh throwing a lightning bolt at every opportunity, gritting his teeth against the pain of his grating ribs. Horbin rushes in to help heal him. Anvar summons forth a lava blade; Clambake goes toe to toe with Zweiter while the sorcerous duel between Milosh and Humboldt resolves: Milosh resists being held and finishes his low-hp foe with another lightning bolt. Crowleigh evades a fireball from Sith but can't sneak attack any more; if he tries to flank Zweiter he'll be flanked himself by Milosh! Zweiter is now under attack by both Clambake and Anvar. Crowleigh knows he's in trouble now and tries to escape, but another round of area-effect blasts from Sith combined with a volley of magic missiles from Milosh finishes him off. Then the party moves to help the faltering Clambake take out Zweiter, and the fight is over.

Exhausted, the party slumps down to heal, then loots the bodies. There's a bit of good loot there, including wands of haste and fireball and a pair of everyone's favorite, boots of striding and springing, which the party identifies later on. Then they shoulder their packs and move on, eventually (it's hard to tell how long things take here) finding a circle of mushrooms. When they walk through it nothing changes visibly but the air feels different somehow and they know they've emerged from Faerieland.

But where are they?

The City of Var

Having emerged from Faerieland the party tries to get their bearings. Milosh casts alter self and Sith casts fly; they rise up to get an idea of where they are and see low mountains to the south, thick forest north. None of them really want to go into thick forest here; most of the thick forest they've seen recently has been fae woods. Dorhaus' trees were mostly burnt down years ago by demonic forces led by a man (?) named Fuligin, now slain; but the scars of his occupation remain. South it is, then.

A few days pass as they move as quickly as possibly across a series of low mountains. Soon they find themselves descending towards a city. As they come closer, though, they find that the city's outlying areas are ruins. More signs of Fuligin! But the central area sports a great number of rebuilt and new buildings, and it seems to be a thriving city with a thin population. There are some humans but most of the locals are half-elves, with a great number of gnomes and elves as well. In fact, the king is a gnome and the queen is a half-elf; he's another old pc, but I digress.

Anvar insists on warning the local authorities about the activity in the Temple of Elemental Evil and the surrounding areas. The party decides to seek out someone capable of magically informing Anvar's master of his location and condition, thereby breaking the geas that they've been travelling under at last. The party members each have their own in-town agendas for shopping and the like as well, of course.

Anvar informs one Captain Mellifleur of the Elemental Evil activities and it is clear she will pass word on to the King; he is one of the adventurers who originally overthrew it, after all! Furthermore, she offers a substantial reward to Anvar if he should destroy the evil cult this time, and makes it clear that the offer includes his allies.

Horbin informs the local Dextrites of the renewed activity at the Temple of Elemental Evil. He is a cleric of Dexter. Dexter is one of the major religions of the campaign, in fact probably the single largest one; it is part of a "monotheistic" system that venerates Galador (the Light), Dexter (his blind son) and Prayzose (Dexter's descendant, the missing Emperor of Forinthia). His church gives him a holy mace to help overthrow the temple.

The more chaotic members of the party, exploring Var, find it a haven of free religion. It seems that King Malford issued a religious amnesty a few years ago, and since then many lesser-known cults and faiths have established shrines or temples in his capitol. Indeed, they find a shrine to Na'Rat, the diety of Clambake, an old god known as the Lord of Changes and the Chaos-Bringer! Within the shrine is a large obelisk and an unctuous man named Xath. "Greetings!" he cries out. "Please, come within!" Clambake and he exchange greetings; as fellow clergy of a very rare (but rapidly resurging) religion, they have much to speak of. Milosh and Sith peer curiously at the large black obelisk.

Vito takes the time to look in on some "business associates" in town. He speaks with Mylkacock, a halfling "friend" of his.

Krunkshank spends time at a local shrine to the elements, created (it is said) by the L, also called Lester or simply the Elementalist. The L was one of King Malford's adventuring companions, but apparently he has a reputation as a scoundrel; he's been in jail in another country before. He's not in evidence in the town, unfortunately; he's a legendary figure to elementalists everywhere, the elementalist who destroyed another branch of the church (the Temple of Elemental Evil).

Meanwhile, at the Temple of Na'Rat, things have suddenly changed. Xath asked if they wished to feel the touch of Na'Rat; they both agreed, and touched the obelisk... and gained chaos attributes. Milosh's charisma suddenly rose, a great benefit for a sorcerer like him, and Clambake spontaneously adopted a battle cry: "For the Old Ones!" Milosh, still uncertain of what to do with himself since his brother's death, touches it again... and turns into a mindless ooze on the ground. Shocked, Clambake steps away. Xath smiles beneficiently and says, "Change comes in many forms, brother."

The ooze reaches out and touched the obelisk again... and again... and again...

Eventually, the ooze changes into an outsider and regains intelligence, but it has also grown feathers, gained the cold subtype, an extradimensional space up his butt (the entrance to which can be quite large thanks to his alter self spell), a complex symbol, a battle cry of his own, a new name (Spukoni) which he can't speak himself, and quite a few other chaos attributes... but he actually came out all right. I was amazed.

*My chaos chart involves a roll of 1d400, and I try to keep on increasing the number of things on it.

At that point, with the pcs still reasonably intact, they leave the shrine, knowing they got lucky.

Shopping ensues... Spukoni buys a pearl of the sirines, Vito a stone of alarm. They discuss what to do next. Anvar tells them about the reward if they overthrow the Temple and a debate breaks out. They worked for them for a while, they know what they'd be up against... and it would be ugly. But the rewards are potentially great- and otherwise, they'll have to take a ship home, which means marching to the nearest coastal city, finding a boat and sailing for months. It's very unlikely that anyone could teleport them that far, either.

*In my game, due to the sheer size of my world, I limit teleport to 100 miles/level, teleport w/o error to 500 miles/level, and... er... succor, whatever it's called these days, to 1000 miles/level.

Anvar announces that he intends to make for the Temple regardless of what the rest of the party decides to do. Krunkshank stands with him as he can learn so much from him, and the party decides to head back as a group- although since the party is almost entirely chaotic, this unity likely won't last long. They sleep for the night and make ready to leave once they tidy up a few pieces of business.

A few days of hard drinking and waiting on things to be finished crafting and the like later, the party rides out of Var mounted on garen, zebra-like animals that come in two colors of green, brown and yellow. They make good time that first day, and by nightfall they stop to make camp, cook dinner and rest.

It's at this point that it behooves me to point out that, typically, the party sleeps in a rope trick that Milosh casts. As a sorcerer he can cast it all day long, if he desires. They time the watches so that they wake him up before it expires, clamber down and cast another one.

Tonight, they all climb up one by one. Milosh is last. And as he enters the rope trick...

A sudden flash of grey white light, dizzying, disorienting!

A sensation of motion, tumbling, falling!

A blur of silvery grey all around, in every direction... floating in space...

"What just happened?" whispers Krunkshank.

Nobody speaks up. They just kind of float there in a silvery void, with nothing visible anywhere... in any direction.

"Where are we?" Clambake asks.

"Uh- " says Milosh, "maybe the astral plane?" He puts on his innocent face.

"How could that have happened?" asks Sith.

"Maybe my rope trick malfunctioned..." Milosh says.

He really doesn't want to explain about his extradimensional space....


[edited to put in Horbin's bit]

On the ass-tral plane

All around is a silvery void shot through with fuzzy grey streamers of cloudy ectoplasm. The group floats in space, not knowing what's happened.

It takes some time for them to figure out how to move, but finally Clambake determines that thinking onesself in a direction is all it takes. Somehow Horbin doesn't quite catch this and ties himself to Sith with a rope. The party then briefly debates which way to go; as has been their clarion call for months, they decide to go "Left to live" and start in a seemingly leftward direction.

Time stretches to an eternity as they move, trying to find their way.... anywhere. Anvar declares that he's worried about the goings-on at the Temple. Horbin wonders what happened to send them here.

"Well," Spukoni squeaks cautiously, "I hear that it's bad to make a rope trick inside another rope trick."

"Is that what happened?" Horbin asks.

"Er, maybe something like that," Spukoni answers cautiously. All thought of his dead twin brother has been left behind now; he has become a completely different being now. Frost comes from his mouth with every breath. His left arm is a whip now. Chaos has touched him, and one of the many changes it has wrought is that he can "gift" others with its touch.

The silver void around them goes on and on and on, never seeming to end. Finally, the party spots something far away in the distance, a tiny speck against the uniformly grey mist. Cautiously, loosing weapons and preparing spells, they veer toward it. About this time they determine that magic flows quickly and easily here, and that spells are quickened.

The writhing shape comes closer, resolving into some sort of worm shape. As it nears they can hear a bizarre singing coming from it, and as it gets closer still they can see its shape: a long, gyrating worm with mouths all over it, singing a strange song! Faces seem to be pressing out from within all over the strange monster.

"I don't like this," mutters Spukoni, knowing he now also smells yummy to monsters, and casts a shield spell. Clambake casts a shield of faith around himself, and then a fireball bursts around the party! With cries of pain they try to seperate. Spukoni draws forth a wand, rocketing away from the party. Frantically, Horbin unties the rope holding him to Sith. Clambake moves forward to engage the singing worm-creature, but before he reaches it it doubles, triples, and suddenly there are eight shimmering worms, dancing and shifting, trading places... and they rush forward and bite Clambake as one! Worse, it tries to swallow him! He struggles against its mighty strength...

Sith's orcish face twists in a sneer as he casts a quick series of defensive magicks, first displacing himself and then hasting himself, moving quickly towards the worm thing. Horbin, having still not gotten the hang of moving, assumes a total defense posture, screaming out, "How do you move???" Clambake has the hang of it, though, and manages to shoot past the monster, out of its immediate reach.

Then a pair of lightning bolts zard from Spukoni in rapid succession. The creature rocks with pain as bits of its substance are blasted free, but it still continues its song, casting a pair of spells, one to protect it and one to pepper Spukoni with magic missiles. Unfortunately for the monster, he has a shield spell up; the missiles deflect harmlessly. Then Sith moves in, first returning the magic missile favor and dropping four of the mirror images, then launching a fireball at it. And, finally, the singing stops.

The party gathers together and gives Horbin a quick flying lesson. Once he's finally gotten the hang of it, they proceed on their way, shaken by the strange monster and it's strange song:

We are many (snap)
We are one
Now we live (snap)
Never done
Sing of days (snap)
Sing of night
Long to sing (snap)
Show our might

Join us in eternal song (snap)
Live with us forever strong (snap)
Our choir seeks more of your kind (snap)
Our power grows with each new mind (snap)

Disturbing, and worse, it sounded as though the chorus of voices within the worm was perfectly happy with their fates. "I'm just glad I'm not one of them now!" Clambake says forcefully.

Anvar says that with the right material component he could plane shift the party away, but he needs a tuning fork of the right material and note- and he only knows the proper notes for two of the elemental planes, not their home. Krunkshank nods to himself, thinking: Someday I'll be that powerful. The party discusses time: how long have they been here? They really can't tell with no reference point to judge by. They are neither tired nor hungry.

They continue on their way. After an indeterminate amount of time they see another speck on the far horizon, but it turns out to be just a rock. Krunkshank points out that they have no way of knowing if they're actually going in a straight line, but there's not really anything they can do about it so they keep going in (they hope) the same direction.

Another speck appears on the horizon, and this time as they approach they find it is another humanoid creature. It looks like an elf, but above its pale face are a pair of small horns. Her eyes glow red and her tongue is slightly forked. Cautiously, the party parlays with the half-fiend. Her name, it turns out, is Dina; she's on her way to the Material Plane herself and agrees to guide and accompany the party. "The place we're going is guarded," she warns, though claims to be unsure by exactly what.

The party keeps traveling. The arcane casters are somewhat worried by the fact that they haven't been able to rest and recoup their spells, but Clambake calls on his mastery of time and the group takes a nap, trusting Dina to watch over them. A few hours of rest and spell preperation later, they move on.

Again, an eternity seems to pass in the silver void, but finally- moving through a region that seems denser in color, darker and harder to see through, the party spots what is clearly a group of creatures in the distance. Spukoni, more than a little paranoid, shields himself immediately, moving forward. Taking advantage of the plane's properties, Clambake casts both shield of faith and protection from evil. Dina readies her bow, just in case. And then- one of the figures fires a bow at the approaching Spukoni! Though it misses, it starts the battle. Sith pulls his wand and hastes himself with it, then draws out his spiked chain, grinning in anticipation of bloodshed. Clambake starts moving forward, trying to detect psionics. Horbin moves up as well, trying to detect evil, and draws forth his shining holy mace.

As battle is joined, the party realizes what the figures are: a party of githyanki....

Spukoni moved in rapidly, but even so kept to a defensive posture. The gith moved forward as well. As the two groups closed, Clambake shot off at an angle to keep the party from being fireball-bait. Then one of the githyanki, a tall evoker iin a striking tall hat named ZIKKIKU, tossed a magic missile at Sith, but it was absorbed harmlessly by his brooch of shielding. JUS’KINEKKE, a githyanki female whose bony body was accentuated by her slinky clothes, unleashed a burst of pure psionic force, buffeting the rapidly closing Spukoni, and pulled out her dagger. And then their leader, GITH’RASHIMON, attacked, bearing a sword like liquid silver that flowed and flashed as he moved forward, slamming Spukoni with it, driving the chaos-tainted sorcerer back. CHEN’DRAKAR, another female githyanki, charged forward to engage Sith, swinging her greatsword madly. It connected brutally, spinning Sith about and spraying crimson blood in the silvery astral space. Dina maneuvered for space and time, trying not to get too close to the foe.

Seeing Zikkiku casting spells, Clambake rushed through the silver towards him. Meanwhile, grunting in pain, Sith concentrated and cast a spell- improved invisibility! As the disgruntled Chen’Drakar spat curses in her own tongue, the hasted orcish necromancer swigged a healing potion and then readied an attack for Chen’Drakar’s movement. Soon enough, the gith provoked it- and in a smash of blood and bone from Sith’s eldritch spiked chain, she dropped.

Meanwhile, Zikkiku moved in to intercept Clambake, throwing a spell that none of the heroes had seen before, trying to baffle his mind. That failing, the githyanki evoker then unleashed a Shout in the hopes of stunning the onrushing Clambake but only deafened him. Meanwhile, the finale githyanki, KETHRIJAH, began frothing in a rage, charging towards the party.

Spukoni, badly threatened by Gith’Rashimon, jetted backwards, taking an attack of opportunity (which smashed into him), then hasted himself... then, revealing another of his chaos-traits, he shifted to his many-tentacled pseudonatural form! Finally, he blasted a lightning bolt out, tagging Gith’Rashimon square in the chest. Jus’Kinekke unleashed another concussion at Spukoni while Gith’Rashimon charged him again, but this time he missed.

While Dina and Anvar continued to maneuver for position, Horbin, still awkward in the astral medium, clumsily moved in. Seeing him on his own, the howling githyanki barbarian veered to charge at him. “Dexter!” he breathed, starting to sweat. Clambake, using his signature move, threw his magical shield at Gith’Rashimon- and scored a crit! The blackguard fell with a groan, his silver sword dropping from his dead fingers.

Two githyanki had fallen, but three remained and the party’s resources were becoming strained. Sith struck Jus’Kinekke and Kethrijah, hitting both and dropping neither- and a moment later found himself nearly trapped inside a resilient sphere cast by Zikkigak. Only his quick reflexes managed to save him.

But by then, both Dina and Anvar were in position too. Between her bow and his fireballs, the battle was soon ended, though Kethrijah did manage to get in another good strike on Horbin with another charge. Clambake’s inflict light wounds on Zikkiku was the last blow, and then the field of battle was silent.

“This plane sucks,” said Clambake. There was a general chorus of agreement.

“Well,” said Dina, “we’re getting closer to the color pool we need.”

Before continuing on, the group elects to nap again, and to identify their loot. Included in this, of course, is the silver sword, which- although +3 according to their identifying magic- none of them really want. Finally, Spukoni takes it and, as soon as nobody’s looking, he stashes it somewhere nobody would think to look (he hopes). Also included are Zikkiku's hat of intellect +2 (Sith takes it, looking proud to appear more "wizardly"), a helm of reading languages and magic that Horbin takes, eventually discovering that it shows "subtitles" under written language, and a sphere that orbits the user like an ioun stone and provides a cover bonus to AC which Anvar ends up with.

And then the group continues towards their color pool...

[By the by, this is from game #482 of my campaign; the last game I ran- last Thursday- was #491. So I’ve got some catching up to do! Well, next time- still part of this game, by the way- we’ll have some mind flayers and intellect devourers, and then we’ll be on to game #483... which I called Gith’Rashimon’s Revenge. In fact, I posted his stats a while back in a thread called Yellow Knight or something on the Homebrew Monsters board... after all, he was dead! To use him again I had to come up with a cool template!]

“This place is boring,” said Krunkshank.

Still flying through the silvery void, the party chatted among themselves. Anvar kept grumbling about the need to attack the Temple of Elemental Evil before they accomplish whatever their goal was. Horbin, glancing at the golden radiance flowing from the holy mace given him for just that purpose, had to agree.

“Well,” said Anvar, “I could plane shift us to the plane of Fire, but that wouldn’t much help... we’d go from lost to lost.”

The silvery clouds in the area seemed to stretch on forever, as if distance was as distorted here as time. Eventually, however, Krunkshank piped up. “Hey, look- something’s over there!” Following the direction he pointed, the party decided to investigate. Flying smoothly towards the speck on the horizon, they found themselves approaching a desolate rock several hundred yards across with some sort of tower carved into it. Naturally the adventurers chose to enter and investigate.

Dena seemed nervous. “There’s probably something here,” she muttered to herself.

The party approached the end of the tower, where an opening beckoned to them. As Clambake led the way, the rest following, Dena could feel the hair pricking at the base of her neck. She could sense something wrong, but before she could call out a warning- first one, then another wave of roiling mental force blasted down the hole at the party, leaving Dena, Krunkshank and Anvar stunned! Gaping at the two tentacled faces peering down at him, Clambake paused to cast protection from evil and shield of faith. Spukoni cried out, wincing from the pounding in his head, and tried to polymorph one of the illithids into a carp. His spell failed to affect the mind flayer, and he hasted himself, knowing the party would need all the punch it could muster to deal with these monsters. Then he tumbled through the astral medium, right between the two aberrations, coming to rest behind them! Sith too hasted himself, and faded into improved invisibility as well. Horbin, eager to strike down some evil, protected himself from evil and cast a shield of faith.

And then another psionic blast ripped out from the first of the illithids, but the party, somewhat prepared, all managed to resist. The other flayer whirled through the silver-shot astral medium to face Spukoni and tried to charm him- also to no avail! The chaos-touched feathered Spukoni whipped out with the arm that had once been a whip, striking the illithid facing him- and inflicting chaos on it. Then he threw another polymorph at it, this time penetrating its resistance and turning it into a carp.

Clambake rushed at the monster still peering down the hole at them, missing it cleanly. Sith, on the other hand, moved up invisibly, cast displacement and struck the monster across its squid-like chin with his spiked chain! Horbin moved in as well, first calling upon Dexter for strength, and smashed into the evil beast with his holy mace. The illithid squealed, stung by the touch of the Light.

The carp vanished in a halo of light, plane shifting to safety, while the remaining illithid hissed and unleashed another psionic blast. But the foes before it were prepared, a sorcerer and clerics with strong wills. They all resisted, though it felt as though someone was squeezing their temples in a vise. Spukoni whipped out his sword, invoked his pseudonatural ability of true strike, and stabbed the remaining illithid viciously through its abdomen. It staggered back, making a sound like a soaked cat threatened with a bucket of water. But then Clambake smashed his shield into it, and it reeled again... and before it had a chance to act, the invisible Sith raked his chain across it, once, twice! Mauve blood spilled out, bubbling in the non-gravity of astral space [remember that scene on the Klingon ship in that one Star Trek movie...?], and before the monster could respond Horbin’s searing light burnt it badly in the chest. “For Dexter!” Horbin cried, and brought his mace down on the illithid’s head, splitting open its brain and ending its menace once and for all.

The party hastily regrouped, tending to the stunned victims. After a minute their senses seemed to return. Looking around, the group found themselves in some sort of chamber with two strange crystalline pillars in it. “I think this is a library,” Dena said in a hushed voice. “A gith library. Or maybe... an illithid library.” Some quick discussion and the party decided to experiment with the crystal rods while Spukoni scouted further in the strange stone edifice.

After a little messing about, Clambake found that he could access the library psionically. Information flooded his mind, a torrent of images and voices and thoughts. He could barely keep it contained in his head, but started searching for information on color pools or ways out of the astral plane that would take them back to Cydra (the home plane of the group). And then a shouted warning from Spukoni caused him to jerk his head up in surprise!

Spukoni was striking at a strange creature that appeared to be a brain on legs! As Clambake watched in horror, another one came leaping out of the tunnel Spukoni had started scouting. The two intellect devourers clawed nastily at the party, simultaneously trying to dominate people. Anvar detonated a flame strike, and from his position Clambake could see weapons deflecting ineffectively off the monsters, so he did the next best thing: he dove on top of one, trying to grapple it! It yapped like a dog, scrambling to get away from him, but Sith joined his grapple, having already cast vampiric touch. Together they managed to pin it, rolling through astral space while the rest of the party blasted at it and the other one with magic missiles, searing light, and more. Anvar intoned a prayer to the powers of Magma and a lava blade burst into being in his hand. Soon enough it was over, but the party, now badly depleted of resources and shaken from their encounter with deadly adversaries, decided to leave after a quick check of the library for a quicker way home.

Unfortunately for them, the closest portal to the Prime was indeed the one Dena was seeking.

Off they went.....

Next time: Gith’Rashimon’s Revenge!

Our heroes continued their journey through astral space... endless, boring, deadly astral space...

Although it pretty much all looks the same, soon enough the party find themselves flying through a strange, darker grey area. As they advance through it, they are beset by broken dreams from the thoughts of countless dreamers. Snatches of lost opportunities intrude upon their thoughts- the lost opportunities of others. Memories of heartbreaking events felt by others shake them, but none are overcome.

They get free of the disturbing psychic clouds, and are going to continue along when a figure bursts out after them! Worse, they recognize it- it’s the leader of the githyanki party they battled not long ago, the blackguard whose silver sword the party now has. Only this time, its skin is yellowed and taut across its bones, and a baleful red light burns in its eyes.

It’s not just a githyanki blackguard, it’s an undead githyanki blackguard.

The battle is joined furiously and quickly. “My sword,” croaks the yellow knight, “give me back my sword!” It moves on Spukoni, attacking with a flurry of slams. He yelps, tumbles away, blasts at it ineffectually with lightning. Clambake throws hammers Gith’Rashimon with his shield, Anvar and Krunkshank unleash the element of fire at it, Sith unleashes his chain. The battle lasts only a few moments, and at the end the yellow knight tries to dimension slide away. Odds are, they’ll hear from him again... except that Horbin’s holy mace swings in an attack of opportunity and smites the undead githyanki. With a dry crunch, he falls to the party’s combined might.

Confidence bolstered, they return to their task. Only a few more hours pass before they see a swirl of color before them, the portal that Clambake saw in the psionic library.

As they approach, four strange ectoplasmic whirlwinds spin towards them. Not sure if they’re monsters, some strange astral weather or a spell effect, the adventurers naturally assume the worst. Sith and Spukoni both haste themselves, and Spukoni starts conjuring a mount (or, as he refers to it, a shield). Then the ectoplasmidons attack! Ectoplasmic tentacles slam out, one grabbing Anvar. He’s swept into its swirling mass and cries out as he whirls around helplessly, unable to act. The same creature grabs the mount and sweeps it up, neighing helplessly. Volleys of magic missiles shoot out from the casters while Horbin conjures up an earth elemental. The ectoplasmidons seem formidable, smashing at the party with their long ectoplasmic tentacles. Worse, the adventurers find that the monsters are immune to Spukoni’s lightning bolts and resistant to fire. Though two of the creatures have been destroyed, things are growing near-desperate when Anvar breaks free from the monster that holds him and launches another fireball at point-blank range, catching both of the remaining ones in a blister of red-hot flame. The fireball does just enough damage to overcome both of the surviving ectoplasmidons’ resistance, and both dissolve into vapors.

“Good lord,” mutters the shaken Anvar.

The party quickly travels through the portal; a moment of disorientation follows, and they find themselves in a cave, on solid ground (thank the Gods!) They can only assume they’re on their home plane. A short battle with huge screeching bats later, they find an exit... and find themselves looking out at an unfamiliar, but definitely home-planar, field.

Home at last!



Next time: in the Serpent's Tail, where the sailing sucks, gold ain't worth much and Sith meets other guys who really like chains!

A few days journey overland and the party finds themselves looking at what appears to be an interesting fortress standing tall before what is an obviously well-worn battleground. There are no trees on the field, no grass; it shows the signs of many a recent battle. The fortress is walled, with a moat and a symmetrical layout. After some discussion, the party decides to send a scout in. Sith renders himself invisible and flying, and shortly is much closer to the place than he should be. He flies in over the walls.

The rest of the party hangs out off the field of battle and waits. After about half an hour they notice some dust on the horizon: it looks like a large band of approaching creatures. The party isn’t too worried just yet; they can always retreat, right? All they have to do is wait for Sith to return.

A large red winged flying reptilian form comes out of the advancing army, which the party can’t quite make out yet, but they can tell it’s a large force. And the dragon seems to fly over the fortress, then swoops in and breathes a huge gout of fire on the wall... leaving a few scorches on it, but not much. It swings around for another pass, then returns to the oncoming army.

The party is now officially becoming worried about Sith. He’s been gone about an hour, and it looks like this big-ass army coming towards the fortress he’s scouting is planning to attack it. Not a good thing to be caught in the middle of- especially because it seems as though there are a lot of different big things in the army. Giants, demon and angel looking things both.... what’s going on here?

Then, suddenly, a pair of humanoid frogs appears from out of nowhere! The party reacts, scrambling for weapons, but the slaadi croak that they’re here to ask for help.

“That,” they explain, gesturing to the fortress, “is the Bastion of Law. Every week there’s a great battle between the forces of Law and Chaos here, and there is destined to be a stalemate. None of the forces here can swing the battle. Only outside intervention can do that. We want your help. Sneak in, open the gates- and the forces of Chaos can be victorious at last!”

The slaadi depart. The party immediately falls into a vigorous debate. “I’m not getting involved in this,” Anvar maintains, and Krunkshank agrees. Most of the rest are chaotic through and through, but none of them are suicidal. Still, they’re becoming worried about Sith, and it looks like another army is marching in from the hills to the side of the fortress. Another chaos army? Nobody can tell just yet. Meanwhile, the Bastion’s army of Law is also drawing up into ranks, issuing forth from the fortress.

The party’s debate is growing heated when Sith returns, visible but still flying. He claims that the party’s best interests are served by staying out of this mess. They decide to just watch the battle take place, and take place it does. Angelic figures clash with each other, some serving chaos, some serving law. Dragons, giants, humanoids of all sorts, bizarre monsters they’ve never seen- an incredible battle soon develops, with quarter neither asked for not given on either side. The party moves a few times as it gets closer to them, and once an angel with a flying sword comes close enough to warn them to stay out of it. They do, never stopping to wonder why Sith has urged them to do so as well.

As night falls the battle still rages, and another debate springs up among them: what to do next. After some discussion they decide to keep heading on their way and hope to find either a waterway to follow or a town. The group circles around the battlefield, leaving the eternal conflict behind.

Another two days' journey finds the party reaching first the coast and then a small fishing village, where they find out where they are: a chain of islands called the Serpent's Tail. The water is shallow and full of jagged rocks; and though the party desperately wants to charter a ship to get them home, very few actual seaworthy ships come to this place. In fact, the jagged shallows (which may indicate that this area was once subjected to some sort of massive force or disaster) pretty much preclude getting home by normal ship. The group tries waving some gold around, but finds that prices are outrageous. "5 gold for a beer??" Horbin exclaims... and is told that gold is common here.

When the party asks what's more valuable, they're told... copper.

What mid-level adventurer keeps his copper anyway?

But there is one ray of hope to be found: tales of strange steel ships that used to raid the area, using strange metal bugs "as long as a man's arm" according to the local gossip. About a year and a half ago, the raids stopped and the ships, as near as any of the locals can tell, went inactive. Apparently, their metal hulls allowed them to sail the jagged shallows with relative impunity. And apparently, one of the ships is nearby- inactive and ripe for the taking!

Our heroes set out, water walking thanks to Horbin's magic...

The steelship is the largest artificial object anyone in the group has ever seen. It looks to be about a mile long, maybe more. It’s only about 30’ wide on top, and there seems to be some sort of structure atop it with a gigantic pole of some sort sticking up from it. The place shows no immediate sign of activity.

Spukoni and Sith fly over and determine that the cylinder is hollow. Sith flies into it to begin investigating; descending, he is blasted by a spray of blistering hot steam. Meanwhile, the rest of the party, examining the structure- perhaps some sort of forecastle?- find that it has a number of hatches, all round and metal with sphincter-style doors all around its exterior. A brief attempt to open a couple fails; however, the party does find one open. Within it, blocking the entrance, is a seemingly inert copper bug about 2’ long and 1’ high. The party decides to turn their attention to another hatch, this one more upright and human sized, that seems to lead into the tall cylinder that Sith and Spukoni are examining. In short order the party opens it and finds a metal ladder descending. However, upon climbing down about 25’, Vito is caught unprepared by the steam blast and falls the rest of the way to the bottom, nearly dying from the impact.

Sith and Spukoni, combining their mystical might, have reached the bottom. There are sealed doors and hatches all over, and at first it seems that none of them will give way. Finally, however, the wizard and sorcerer find one that opens to reveal a room whose ceiling dangles with a veritable forest of chains. Hanging from many of these are bodies. Blood pools on the floor seem to indicate that something hostile lives here somewhere. Exchanging a glance, they retreat to gather the rest of the party. Horbin has reached Vito’s form and healed him back to consciousness, calling upon the blessings of Dexter. Still, the party is less than sure of their next course of action and decides to explore further before investigating the chain room. Vito withdraws to the deck to lick his wounds.

The next chamber they find open is trapped, and a spray of darts greets them. Disgruntled, the group returns to the chain room. Cautiously, they enter. They begin poking around when suddenly, the chains above them start dancing as if of their own accord, flailing down at the party. Caught unprepared, the group suffers a few hits- and then more, as a human female drops halfway down, hanging from a chain and swinging a deadly-looking scarlet spiked chain that almost seems to move on its own. Worse, another figure drops down to battle them, wrapped in chains and stinking of brimstone! Its gaze shakes the party’s resolve and its chains lash out at Anvar as the female engages Clambake. Battered by the chains, he disappears into the time stream (his granted power from the time domain imc). The party tries to strike back and both elementalists flame strike the human, who still is hanging above them and wreaking havoc, but their combined spells force her to drop to the ground and swill a potion. The heroes are about to press their attack when a quartet of small flying mechanical dragons swoops into the conflict, complicating matters considerably. Clambake returns to the present, already having manifested psionic invisibility, and heals himself as best he can; Sith, already hasted, also fades from view and begins returning the chain attacks with his own spiked chain. (“I see some loot I want,” he muses to himself.)

Anvar has been dragged upward into the web of chains. Spukoni fires off a pair of lightning bolts thanks to his haste and Horbin blasts a sound burst at the swooping mechanical dragons they face; Anvar manages to free himself from the chains, dropping solidly to the steel floor. Groaning, he tries to cast a spell on the defensive, but his concentration is shaken by the combination of his foes and his fall and he loses it instead. Krunkshank swings his axe, growling dwarven war cries, and connects heavily with the mistress of chains. The blow is just enough to drop her, which enrages her chain-wrapped fiendish companion. He strikes a blow of his own at the dwarf and a critical hit brings Krunkshank almost to his knees. The little dragons are buzzing the party, biting and snapping, taking little pieces out of them. Then one of the little things shows another ability- a cloud of poisonous gas shoots out of its mouth.

The battle grows messier as Spukoni polymorphs Krunkshank into a gargoyle to better deal with the flyers. Meanwhile the human’s chain seems to writhe of its own accord and seems to protect her from some of the various magical effects flying about, at least until the chain-fiend grabs it up! With a howl, the kyton- now hasted itself from a potion- focuses its unholy rage on Horbin the holy, who is battered backwards but not bowed.

Most of the iron dragons are down by this point; Anvar has used a heat metal to defeat one, and between his lava blade and Krunkshank the gargoyle, they’ve only got one left to deal with. Blood flies as Clambake suffers an attack of opportunity from the chain the kyton wields, interrupting his attempt at a mind blast. But things seem well in hand to Sith, who stoops to examine the unconscious female human. Yes, she’s still alive, so he manacles her and pulls down her pants. A volley of magic missiles fires off overhead, striking the kyton (who’s now staggering and near death), but Sith’s too busy to pay attention. He’s going to show that chain-wielding hussy who’s boss, that’s for sure.

The kyton finally falls, as does the last iron dragon. Unfortunately, the fiend seems to be regenerating! It’s moving weakly, so the group pours on the fire, hoping that it can’t recover from that kind of damage, and with a final blow from Anvar’s lava blade, it stops once and for all. The group looks around to take stock of the situation-

“Hey!” says Spukoni, “what’s going on over there?!”

Sith doesn’t even look up...

A few minutes later, they regroup and heal up as best they can, then decide to rest and explore more the next day, once they’ve had a chance to regain spells and get rid of some of the fatigue brought on by a hard-fought battle.

“What the hell were they doing here anyway?” wonders Krunkshank. It’s a question to be answered....

Next time!

When we meet Titus the clockwork master and his gear hounds for the first- but not the last- time!




We’re up to game 484, folks. For those who are reading this (all two of you), I just the other day ran game 493. I’m trying to catch up!

_Is_ anyone reading this? What do you think? Any feedback? Sound like fun? I've posted a number of the monsters and stuff the party's encountered on the homebrews and house rules boards; if anyone's interested I can try to post some links.

Heh... like I said, if anyone's even reading this...