disenchanted with D&D

I'm new to the boards. A friend mentioned it. Any how, after playing D&D for 10 years I have run into a problem that perhaps the fellow gamers out there could help solve.

A week ago as I sat down to DM for the kazillionth game in my years, I felt a lack of emotion that had been showing itself everytime I sat to game for the past 15 sessions or so. Only this time I found myself staring out the window into the sunny outdoors and I questioned myself "why in the hell am I sitting at this table with a bunch of art and text with 3 other goobers preparing to spend the entire day making up some kickass story that's completely in our heads!?" But I DM'ed for the group any way as they were so excited to go after the Dragon that sits atop Dragon Mountain (that famous box set adventure for 2nd edition). And afterwards the other players were so ecstatic about their make-believe victory that they wanted to take me out to and buy me a coffee shake to celebrate! It was all compliments and pats on my back. "Great campaign man, you are the king of Dm's. You went and re-wrote the whole mountain for us...blahblah" I found no gratification in any of it. I ended the day with the words "I quit". One of my players looked like he might cry.

Has any one had a similar experience? I'd appreciate any feedback.

Oh boy.

Well that's a case of burout if I've ever heard of it. Not just DM burnout, but life burnout. Do u feel this way about other activites or just D&D? I can tell u this, I got burnt out too. I took some time off (~1 year) and came back. I love it again. I think that I wasn't disatified with the game I was disatisfied with my whole, at the time, boring life. I did some trraveling, changed addresses for a while and partied up. It was a pisser. When real-life came back and hit me (ie. i was out of money) i got back to the grind. But it was different. I enjoyed it for what it. THEN I started playing again. And now I love the game again and realized how much i missed it. The dissatisfaction with the game was a symptom of something else, something much bigger.

Just my $.02. Good luck cowboy.

Quit DMing, or D&D altogether?

Hey man,

Sorry to hear that, but I must confess that it seems that you're simply burned out on either DMing, or D&D altogether. So, I must ask, are you tired of the game itself? The people? Or simply the position of DM?

As I read your post, it seems that you're not only disenchanted with D&D but also the "goobers" that you're playing with... Now, I may be out of line, but it doesn't sound like you consider these people friends. I dunno, I guess I'm just nit-picking, but I would have been a bit more tactful in revealing that I'm no longer into DMing/D&D, especially when these people praised you in such a wonderful way.

Just some stuff to think about, I guess,

- Rep.

My sympathies.
I do understand - I have not played in a face-to-face game in a long time.

Since you asked, I wish to share with you the one thing I think is relevant to this.

Dungeons and Dragons is, ultimately, about fun.
That's what the IR was about - fun (for those who did not have fun, my sincere regrets.)

It's not about rules.
It is most certainly NOT about chic.
It isn't about tactics or strategy.
It isn't about how to play the game.

It's about ... well, it's about ...

People getting together with pepsi and pizza and having a good time, with side trips to the store, running through the nearby woods, and playing ping pong (since usually the ping-pong table is in the basement, and that's where we played.)

It's about recreating what you felt when you read a good book.
It's about being Frodo, if you could be Frodo. Or Shea. Or John Carter, Warlord of Mars. Or perhaps Conan. Or maybe it's one of the heroes from the film Matrix, in a modern cyberpunk type of game.
It's about all the excitement you felt reading those books. It's being IN the book, facing the dangers the characters faced, feeling the thrill of overcoming the dangers like they did (or feeling the agony as they win and your character goes bye-bye ... unfortunately there cannot be the thrill of victory if there is not the risk of the agony of defeat, IMO.)

And it's about friends.
I mean it ... about friends.
Having friends.
Looking forward to that weekend with your friends.
Shooting the breeze with them, chatting as you walk down the street, reminenscing with them as you drink pop over a table.

Or perhaps, competing with them on a video game at the local arcade, and talking over a shake or ice cream, on a warm summer day.

- - -

It is not within my power to make RPGs work for you.
All I am doing is commenting on why they worked for me.

But I am not you.

I sincerely hope you can enjoy RPGs.
I hope you find some fun in them.

I do not have the magic formula you need for fun.
I have simply set down some of the formulae that worked for me.

Good luck to you.

Edena_of_Neith

goobers

I say goobers because even though they are all close friends I saw them in a new light. They looked like idiots suddenly. I looked like an idiot suddenly. I thought "I could be pulling 4ft airs at the skatepark" or "I could be lifting weights increasing my health and performance" or "I could be shadow boxing because all my players despite having black belts in Taekwondo couldn't stand 3 seconds with me because they have massive guts do to way too much time at this table!" I love D&D. The thought of it at least. I still get excited about new books and new ideas and thoughts of scenarios. But when I sit down to play, it all flushes away and there is this lack of drive. I get the feeling I've done pretty much everything. We don't need to play because I know what they are going to do, and I know the outcome to every plot I write.

If nothing else works, simply stop.

Just that. Stop.

Take a break from gaming, for several months. Allow the burn-out to pass.
I know that burn-out - you DO lose all emotion, as you have said.

Just retire from the game for a while, and see if in a few months you feel like going back to it.

And when you return, let someone else DM.

DMing is hard and very often thankless (a point players should realize more often ...)
DMing is about you working, while others have the fun. DMing is about you sacrificing so others can have fun.
That works for a while, especially if you are empathetic, and you feel empathetic joy that your players are having fun.
That's why I lasted as long as I did, as a DM. That's how I managed to last through the IR - the joy my players were having kept ME going.

But if you no longer are feeling anything; if you are dead inside, then ... well, at least this is my recommendation ... take a break.
Stop gaming and give yourself time. Burn-out can be permanent, but it can be temporary too.

Take a break, and don't let the burn-out worsen.
Give yourself that rest you deserve, and go do other things, and have some fun elsewhere.

If, one of these days, you feel like returning to gaming, then that would be the time to start again, and not before.

All this is just opinion. I'm just trying to be of help.
I hope my advice on the matter is good advice.

I hope you can get past the burn-out, and enjoy the hobby again!

Edena_of_Neith

Re: goobers

pseudo_hero said:

I say goobers because even though they are all close friends I saw them in a new light. They looked like idiots suddenly. I looked like an idiot suddenly. I thought "I could be pulling 4ft airs at the skatepark" or "I could be lifting weights increasing my health and performance" or "I could be shadow boxing because all my players despite having black belts in Taekwondo couldn't stand 3 seconds with me because they have massive guts do to way too much time at this table!" I love D&D. The thought of it at least. I still get excited about new books and new ideas and thoughts of scenarios. But when I sit down to play, it all flushes away and there is this lack of drive. I get the feeling I've done pretty much everything. We don't need to play because I know what they are going to do, and I know the outcome to every plot I write.

Click to expand...

Like so many things, the key is balance. Don't do D&D instead of more important things, do it in addition, if its enjoyable. If your heart is in skateboarding or working out or anything else, don't let D&D overshadow it. Just play when the inspiration strikes you and don't force anything.

And don't let your identity be caught up in what you do. Who you are is not the games you play. Some people think of themselves as geeks because they play D&D and some people think of themselves as cool people with one geeky hobby. Guess which one Vin Diesel thinks he is? The choice is the same for everybody.

In your case, it does indeed just sound like you're burned out and need to step back for a while. It'll be still be there when you come back.

I thought I'd just tell you this now...

D&D is just like a prison gang, it's blood in and blood out. If you do quit, Eric Noah will be hounding you till the end of your days. I don't think ANYONE wants that.

I learned me lesson <Nervous twitch>

Hey man, that's cool, I was just unsure as to what exactly you meant when you started describing the scene, hehe. Yeah, it sounds like you're burned out on D&D + Players. Like everyone else has said, it might be a good idea to take a break for a while and catch up with other things that interest you.

Good luck, and stuff, hehe,

- Rep.

Edena_of_Neith said:

My sympathies.
I do understand - I have not played in a face-to-face game in a long time.

Since you asked, I wish to share with you the one thing I think is relevant to this.

Dungeons and Dragons is, ultimately, about fun.
That's what the IR was about - fun (for those who did not have fun, my sincere regrets.)

It's not about rules.
It is most certainly NOT about chic.
It isn't about tactics or strategy.
It isn't about how to play the game.

It's about ... well, it's about ...

People getting together with pepsi and pizza and having a good time, with side trips to the store, running through the nearby woods, and playing ping pong (since usually the ping-pong table is in the basement, and that's where we played.)

It's about recreating what you felt when you read a good book.
It's about being Frodo, if you could be Frodo. Or Shea. Or John Carter, Warlord of Mars. Or perhaps Conan. Or maybe it's one of the heroes from the film Matrix, in a modern cyberpunk type of game.
It's about all the excitement you felt reading those books. It's being IN the book, facing the dangers the characters faced, feeling the thrill of overcoming the dangers like they did (or feeling the agony as they win and your character goes bye-bye ... unfortunately there cannot be the thrill of victory if there is not the risk of the agony of defeat, IMO.)

And it's about friends.
I mean it ... about friends.
Having friends.
Looking forward to that weekend with your friends.
Shooting the breeze with them, chatting as you walk down the street, reminenscing with them as you drink pop over a table.

Or perhaps, competing with them on a video game at the local arcade, and talking over a shake or ice cream, on a warm summer day.

- - -

It is not within my power to make RPGs work for you.
All I am doing is commenting on why they worked for me.

But I am not you.

I sincerely hope you can enjoy RPGs.
I hope you find some fun in them.

I do not have the magic formula you need for fun.
I have simply set down some of the formulae that worked for me.

Good luck to you.

Edena_of_Neith

Click to expand...

*sniff* that was beautiful...