Ry's guide to being an Evil Overlord

Ry

Explorer
On a whim, I cruised by Peter Anspach's Evil Overlord List the other day, and I realized that I had quite a few things that I disagreed with on that list. But generally the advice is sound, and the list hasn't been updated in ages.

Here's the deal: I'm going to go through the list 1 to 100, and add a few extra notes here and there on how to be an Evil Overlord without ignoring some basic and sound principles of workplace dynamics, effective governance, public relations, and so on. If you've read it, you'll note that Sun Tzu's art of war developed similar addenda. My notes will be labelled R1, R2, R3, R4 to distinguish them from the original list.

Begin!

Peter Anspach said:
1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.

Sound advice, but there needs to be a note here.

R1. My Legions of Terror will not be called Legions of Terror. I want them to have good morale and face as little resistance as possible from the populace at large. They will be called the Emergency Response Force or some similarly reassuring an official-souding title, with a reassuring acronym, like "ERF."
 

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pallandrome

First Post
2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

Such ducts will also be built with regular, sturdy filters throughout. Just because a duct is too small for a normal human to crawl through does not mean he cannot shrink himself, send a small animal companion, or even pump some kind of poison gas, through the pipes.
 

Doug McCrae

Legend
rycanada said:
They will be called the Emergency Response Force or some similarly reassuring an official-souding title, with a reassuring acronym, like "ERF."
How about the Emergency Response Force... of Doom!!!
 

dmccoy1693

Adventurer
3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

Don't just kill your half-brother. Kill your half-brother's wife, children, distant relatives, friends, allies, pets, and pen pals. Personally make sure all documentation of their right to claim the throne has been burned. Letting any such documentation exist could cause problems in the future assuming any potential usurpers slipped through your fingers. Also personally witness the fore-mentioned killings. If you don't witness it, it doesn't happen and they escape.

4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

Nuf Said.

5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

Then I will put out the story that my source of power looks like an ordinary pebble, and it is kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity.
 
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Ry

Explorer
Peter Anspach said:
2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

Decent advice, but we're getting ahead of ourselves here.

R2. My compound will be commissioned new, and built on previously untouched land. It will not be built from the ruins of the ancient city of my evil forebears, atop the ruins of the fortress of my defeated enemy, or over the twisting city that was my greatest conquest.
 

SiderisAnon

First Post
Peter Anspach said:
5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.
dmccoy1693 said:
Then I will put out the story that my source of power looks like an ordinary pebble, and it is kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity.
I will not store the source of my power and my greatest weakness in the same bank, lest a single robbery that actually has nothing to do with me accidentally ends up putting too much on the black market.
 

Bacris

First Post
rycanada said:
Decent advice, but we're getting ahead of ourselves here.

R2. My compound will be commissioned new, and built on previously untouched land. It will not be built from the ruins of the ancient city of my evil forebears, atop the ruins of the fortress of my defeated enemy, or over the twisting city that was my greatest conquest.

The engineers of such a compound will be put to death to keep would-be assailants from gaining insider information into how my compound was constructed.
 

dmccoy1693 said:
Don't just kill your half-brother. Kill your half-brother's wife, children, distant relatives, friends, allies, pets, and pen pals. Personally make sure all documentation of their right to claim the throne has been burned. Letting any such documentation exist could cause problems in the future assuming any potential usurpers slipped through your fingers. Also personally witness the fore-mentioned killings. If you don't witness it, it doesn't happen and they escape.

Somebody read their Macchiavelli . . .
 


Slife

First Post
My legions of doom (Or ERF, if you prefer) will have a strict anti-drug policy. I will extend this policy to my visible secret police, and make it well known that they won't take drugs, even while undercover. My chemists will secretly develop an incredibly cheap and very addictive drug, and accidentally leak the information on how to make it out of fairly common household materials.

End result: All the rebels know that they can prove they're not spies by taking drugs. They'll get hooked, which will make them less effective at resisting me. Plus, a hero simply can't join with a bunch of druggies. The FCC wouldn't stand for it.
 

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