D&D is so METAL

"Consider this ... the 4e default campaign is "points of light in a dark, dangerous world." (sounds grim). Orcus is on the cover of the new Monster Manual. Paladins can be any alignment (um, meaning evil). The PH cover shows the return of hookerplate boobmail. They're getting rid of gnomes. Armored Beholders. Asmodeus is a god. Half-demon (excuse me, tieflings) PC races -- like here and, um yes, here: the hot demon chick. I mean christ, even the dwarves are hot! Tell me, isn't it just plain wrong that dwarves are now hot!? Aren't they suppose to have beards?

Is this the most METAL version of D&D ever?

I say, rock on, D&D designers, may you place the devil horns upon every page. I, for one, am celebrating this by vowing upon the altar of Iron Maiden insanity that my first 4e campaign is going to be "totally metal." Players must make totally metal characters. They cannot be just some rogue -- they must be "a pirate from the Seas of Blood!" They can't be just a fighter -- they must be "an axe-wielding warrior encrusted with the splattered brains of his enemies". Barbarians will have names like "Skullgrim Thorkrusher" and clerics will follow "Gorgoth the God of Blood & Gore!" or the black tentacles of Ktulu.

I'm beginning to write up my campaign world now. There's gonna Black Metal Knights, and a land of frost and Vikings, and a city of Goths. It's gonna be a world of might makes right, Frazetta posters, and rivers of blood. Let the metal madness begin. I will be waiting for you 4e with my Viking hat in hand."

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redmagerush said:

Just to spite this my first 4e game is either going to be diy punk rock based or snobby intellectual elite indie rock based.

Take that metal.

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