A Rather Odd Shovel [Judge: Bront]

Rae ArdGaoth · Feb 18, 2009

The man turns a faint green and begins to sputter.

"B- b- b- ah, look here now, your friends told me you'd be reasonable! Let's be reasonable about this, shall we? Y- Y- You had considered selling it anyway, your friends merely pulled the trigger without consulting you first. Take it up with them, I'm just the messenger! Really, just the messenger!" His fat hands wave frantically in front of his face.

Boddynock · Feb 18, 2009

Tarag is so astounded by this latest lunacy that he can only stand there, gobsmacked.

OOC: Not sure where you're wanting to go with this, Trouvere, so I guess I'll wait and see.

Trouvere · Feb 18, 2009

"Ah, that will have been Rapture. She always did think the best of me, and Valessa knows I've tried my hardest to live up to that. But she's left me now, hasn't she? I've lost my homeland, my family, my ship, and her."

Keldar shakes his head. "You don't think 30 crowns is a fantastic deal, the best I've ever made? What's that? You didn't want to sell your clothes? Interesting. You know, I spent an hour filling out ownership papers for my ship, we all signed our names, all of us. Not just Galwynn!

"Reasonable? Do I look reasonable? Well, I like to think I am. You can sell me your clothes, or you can sell me your clothes and then come with me for a walk into the slum districts on the chasm floor. Your choice."

covaithe · Feb 18, 2009

Tommy looks worriedly back and forth between Keldar and the man. "You... wouldn't really hurt him, would you, Keldar?" But his voice betrays enough uncertainty not to be very reassuring.

ooc: I'm not gonna stop him either.

Rae ArdGaoth · Feb 19, 2009

The man looks pleadingly at Tommy, Tarag, and Fimble. He gets nothing but stares in returns. Fimble pipes up, "By and large, I don't think you can sell a piece of property without the consent of all the owners. Just saying." He shrugs.

The man eyes dart between the whip and the look on Keldar's face. He coughs and says, "Ah, well then, you think these old rags are worth 30 crowns? Nonsense, they're practically worthless, silly old things. I- I'll give them to you, if you- Ah, if you want. For not even a penny. Here, here, take them. Take them all!" And with sudden ferocity, he sheds his clothes one layer at a time: first the fine purple overcoat, then the white shirt beneath, and then off come his heeled boots of black leather and his loose leggings. Down to his cotton underclothes, he begins even removing those. He takes off his shirt, leaving only his thick matted hair to cover his fleshy figure. The clothes are in a large pile on the floor before him, and he is now down to a pair of gray longjohns. He looks up at Keldar, hoping for one small bit of mercy...

Trouvere · Feb 19, 2009

"Did you notice the large, undoubtedly lonely, ogres working on the dockside when we arrived?" Keldar comments conversationally.

"I, uh, I think, actually, we can spare everyone that sight," he says, as the disrobing reaches the crucial moment. "Besides, I'm no thief or enabler of thieves, despite what certain supposedly holy warriors of Halina might have said, repeatedly. Your profits from the sale of my ship are your own, now. But if we sent you out there clad only in your blushes, well, I shudder to think how you could hide your money pouch. And even in just your… your…" he indicates the grey undergarments, "well… I'd just look even more impressive, but you - you'd look suspicious."

Keldar retrieves his coins. "Well, gentlemen, I think he's learned a lesson. Goodbye, sir! I hope we need not meet again."

Without a backwards glance, Keldar leaves the boatshed.

Boddynock · Feb 19, 2009

Wide-eyed with disbelief and torn between exasperation and admiration, Tarag nods to the fellow and similarly exits the scene.

covaithe · Feb 21, 2009

Tommy, nearly wringing his hands with indecision, looks pleadingly at the man in his underclothes. "He's usually much more... well, that is to say, he can be very... Er. Well, someday we'll be very famous, and you can tell all your friends about the day you sold your pants to THE Keldar Warbray. If we live that long. Um, it was nice to meet you?"

Flustered, Tommy makes a quick retreat.

ooc: onward!

Trouvere · Feb 21, 2009

"Now that I think of it, that purple coat would suit me," says Keldar, making to head back inside. "I'm joking! I'm joking! I think we should be out of sight by the time he gets his boots back on."

He looks over to where the Diligenza floats at her mooring.* "No use trying to follow them, do you think? They've hours headstart, and we know Warbr- Halina's Blessing is the faster ship. Anyway, we made a promise to Thyrin and to your father, Fimble, and even if that's not good enough for paladins, it's good enough for me. Well, then! Things to do! No time for regrets!"

Keldar strides away purposefully, or rather, staggers. "Ooh, heavy. Would anyone like to put my stuff away in their magical bag that gets no weightier when it's full?" he asks, shrugging the coils of rope and his changes of clothing from his shoulder and dropping the sack of rocks at his feet.

Unburdened, Keldar leans out over the edge of the dock opposite the small dinghy and its sleeping occupants. "Hello there! Hello?"

He takes a stone from the sack, holds it out on his open palm, frowns, and sends it floating through the air to the boat, where he bounces it up and down on the helmeted head of the sleeping man.

"You down there! What do you think you're doing? It's dangerous! One, you could find your boat's been sold out from under you, and two, you could capsize and sink to the bottom like... like people wearing more armor than is ever helpful."

* OOC: I checked with Rae that she was still there.