I love my friends but I want to kill one of them, Help me.

So yeah, I'm 3/4s through my first year of college and have a stable group of friends. They're like a second family except I have one "friend" that I hate. Our relationship has detiorated from us being best friends to me hating him on a sub-atomic level. I don't want to tera the group apart but I can sit there and pretend to like him. I tried to pull an Angel and leave for their benefit but they're resisting. How can I still hang out with them and not have to deal with Captain up?

A couple of questions:

How do the rest of your friends feel about Captain F?

Have you expressed, to the rest of your friends, your dislike for Captain F? If so, what was their reaction?

I ask because this sounds a lot like the situation I found myself in during my first year of college. A group of a half-dozen friends formed (around playing D&D initially, but we became good friends in general). As the year went on, we all realized that we just really didn't enjoy spending time with one of the group's members, for several reasons. When we decided to finally do something about it, it fell to me to break it to him (here's a big tip: don't do this after drinking!). It was a very ugly scene, and there were a lot of hurt feelings.

But, if you're the only one in the group who has a big problem with Captain F, what we did might not be the solution for you. You may find yourself in a position where you're making your friends choose between you and Captain F -- and, if you're the only one having a problem (esp. if Captain F doesn't have a problem with you), they may well decide to choose for you.

warlord said:

I want to kill one of them, Help me.

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Well, first you have to pick a method. Now, I understand that you hate the guy, but please don't go complex/messy. Remember, murder should be about improving the quality of your life, not inflicting suffering on your victims.

Now, shooting is quick and easy, but potentially very messy and loud. Hand to hand combat could leave too much evidence on the body. If at all possible, I recommend poison.

Finally, proper body disposal is KEY. Too many people get caught up in elaborate schemes and end up getting caught. Don't leave evidence around. DO NOT STORE THE BODY IN YOUR HOUSE. It's a dead (heh) give away. If the body is found, so be it, you can claim ignorance. If the body is found buried in your basement, that's harder to explain.

Remember: quick, clean, efficient. Oh, and make sure that nobody else knows. Don't ask incriminating questions of your friends, or make message board posts about methods. Oops.

To answer Kenobi65's question they know I hate him and I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me because I'm trying to convince his girlfriend to dump him. I know this makes look bad but they really are bad for eachother. In short I'm the only one who can't stand Captain F. The rest of them seem to like him and I'm afraid if I make them pick sides I'll end up friendless and chain-smoking.

Just ignore the guy and don't talk to him.

I value friendship pretty strongly but I also value my self respect and my personal life more. I've lost many friends in my life because I shut them out. Once they disrespect me on purpose, I walk away. I try to surround myself with quality people and I never intentionally disrespect my friends. Your life is much better when you are surrounded by good people.

My method to get rid of them is to just ignore them...even if we are together with mutual friends. I won't really talk to them and I don't give much of a response when they are talking. They know what's up and they leave me alone. It can be awkward but I don't care. Eventually it works itself out and life moves on so you never deal with it anymore. Sometimes they even realize they are pricks and they try to become friends again by being a better friend.

But you intervening with his girlfriend is a big no-no. That's only going to make your situation worse. Even if she's your best friend, you really have no right trying to get her to leave him because you don't like him. You even said your other friends like him, so there's at least something to like about the guy even though you don't click well with him. I'd almost think the guy deserves to punch you in the nose for what you're doing with his girlfriend...sounds like you sorta deserve it man :\

You keep that kind of stuff up and you will be the one without friends and chain smoking. Your actions could turn against you & make your friends think you're the jerk

warlord said:

To answer Kenobi65's question they know I hate him and I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me because I'm trying to convince his girlfriend to dump him. I know this makes look bad but they really are bad for eachother. In short I'm the only one who can't stand Captain F. The rest of them seem to like him and I'm afraid if I make them pick sides I'll end up friendless and chain-smoking.

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Ah college. That's where I learned the attitude of "live and let live." There will be friends that you develop in college that, after a while, either get on your nerves or pick up self-destructive habits.

I'd say you're way too close to the situation and the best thing to do is get out of this guy's business. Don't step so far back that you totally disconnect with the others, but if you continue down this path of pro-actively booting him out of the group, it won't turn out like you want it to. "Its either him or me" ultimatiums between friends almost always end up ugly and spiteful.

Oryan77 said:

But you intervening with his girlfriend is a big no-no. That's only going to make your situation worse. Even if she's your best friend, you really have no right trying to get her to leave him because you don't like him. You even said your other friends like him, so there's at least something to like about the guy even though you don't click well with him. I'd almost think the guy deserves to punch you in the nose for what you're doing with his girlfriend...sounds like you sorta deserve it man :\

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That's my take on it, too. Interfering with someone else's personal life (even if you're dang sure that "they aren't good for each other") is almost always "trouble brewing". And, it'd be easy to ascribe ulterior motives to your desire to see them break up. If she's a close friend, then, it's probably all right to offer advice...but sometimes even the best advice doesn't get followed, especially when emotions are trumping logic.

Knowing not-too-much about the details, my advise would be to just avoid interacting with Captain F, and keep your nose out of his business.

warlord said:

To answer Kenobi65's question they know I hate him and I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me because I'm trying to convince his girlfriend to dump him. I know this makes look bad but they really are bad for eachother. In short I'm the only one who can't stand Captain F. The rest of them seem to like him and I'm afraid if I make them pick sides I'll end up friendless and chain-smoking.

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Assuming that he doesn't beat her and and that he isn't sleeping around with other girls behind her back, then you are "that guy" that most guys hate EVEN if your motives for trying to break them up doesn't include the possibility of hooking up with her (which many guys would just to besmirch someone they hate). You seriously need to stop hanging out with him AND ESPECIALLY her. Like it or not, if you don't Captain F and you may eventually get into a fight, and she may be at the center of it.

warlord said:

To answer Kenobi65's question they know I hate him and I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me because I'm trying to convince his girlfriend to dump him. I know this makes look bad but they really are bad for eachother. In short I'm the only one who can't stand Captain F. The rest of them seem to like him and I'm afraid if I make them pick sides I'll end up friendless and chain-smoking.

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If there's not something seriously illegal or dangerous going on there, get outta the Captain's business for pete's sake! I'm gonna be blunt, but who are you to be choosing for anyone but yourself? Sometimes you just have to man up and deal with things you don't particularly like...you'll be doing it off and on for the rest of your life

Yeah, get your nose out of his business unless someone's physical safety is at stake. I'm sure at this point they both know how you feel, so you've said your peace and need to let it go.

Otherwise, suck it up for another two months. Assuming you're not going to school over summer, all sorts of will change by next fall. Half the people I hung out with freshman year I never saw again.