Joy. It's the Buddy's Girlfriend.

deathdonut · Apr 2, 2008

Starting in June, I intend to run a 4e campaign with some friends and guess who's tagging along? That's right, a buddy wants his girlfriend to play. She's not exactly the most enthusiastic and is probably only playing to humor her guy. She doesnt really care about the character creation process and one of us will probably end up basically designing her character for her.

Before you suggest it, I've considered keeping her out of the campaign, but decided against it. She's definately going to play, but like many of her ilk may screw with the dynamic of the group if she gets bored or frustrated.

So...what type of character should I push her into?

In old systems it was important to keep most novices away from the casters, but I no longer think that's necessary. I'm looking for a role that will make her feel like a contributor without taxing her on a tactical level. I'm also looking for a character concept that's easy to roleplay but will force her into the spotlight occasionally in non-combat situations.

Any suggestions or ideas?

Lonely Tylenol · Apr 2, 2008

I like sorcerers for new players. Especially for women. The archetype of a sorceress is well-known to most people and has a slightly edgy feel that can make the character exciting. Also, the limited spell repertoire means that they'll be doing a small number of things at first, with increasing complexity over time. Getting to hit things with magic spells is something that I think most new players can get into. Hitting stuff with a sword lacks something in that regard. Warlock also works good in this way.

Wormwood · Apr 2, 2008

The good news is that from most accounts 4e is very newbie friendly.

That aside, I've found the 'treat them with respect, bend over backwards to make them feel included, and generally try to make sure everyone has fun' tack works out great.

Then again, I game with couples all the time. Hell I even managed to turn my reluctant gamer girlfriend into a card-carrying gamer wife.

Even if she doesn't like character creation, you should try to find out what kind of characters interest her. You could ask about some of her favorite characters from fiction and use that as a springboard.

Really do the extra effort to engage her, and make sure the rest of the table understands that everyone will have a better time in the long run if you invest a little extra time and attention into the girlfriend in the short term.

At least then if she quits or hates the game, you can be sure that you did everything you could.

The Little Raven · Apr 2, 2008

Talk to her? Tell her about her options and see what she wants to play? The biggest problem with bringing in a hesitant female gamer, in my experience, is that a lot of guys think just because they don't know how to play that they can't make decisions about what they want to be in the game. Communication is key.

Wormwood · Apr 2, 2008

Mourn said:
Talk to her? Tell her about her options and see what she wants to play? The biggest problem with bringing in a hesitant female gamer, in my experience, is that a lot of guys think just because they don't know how to play that they can't make decisions about what they want to be in the game. Communication is key.

What he said.

papakee · Apr 2, 2008

Fighter with chain mail bikini

Make sure her miniature is as scantily clad as possible.

I'm A Banana · Apr 2, 2008

Man, you seem kind of predisposed to not enjoy this opportunity. Sorry for the both of ya.

Some advice:

#1: Whip up a few sample characters, let her choose amongst them. Strong archetype is important, so think Paladin or Warlock or Fighter or Rogue or Wizard. I'd shy away from Warlords and Rogues and Rangers and other characters who use a lot of strategic abilities.

#2: Assuming she's new to RPG's in general, jump right in with a stirring combat, and encourage her to participate. After the combat, make sure you specifically ask her what she does and where she goes, and maybe even ask her why she's taking those actions. Since she's new, you'll have to give some special attention to her.

#3: If she gets wierded out by this attention and doesn't really want to participate after the first couple of encounters, don't force the issue. She's not into it, she probably won't be back, so just make it as painless as possible for her. IMO, this is the worst potential problem, but some people just don't have fun imagining to be an elf for four hours on a weekend. It's cool that she's willing to try, but if she's not open, no biggie. Don't get exasperated, don't get offended.

#5: General advice: don't let other people run her character. Nothing chases of newbs quite like the old hats saying "Oh! You should do X!" Let her decide, let her make mistakes, and maybe offer some advice if she seems a bit lost. If she's asking "what can I do?" maybe point out some good strategies. But that's because you're the DM. Don't let her boyfriend or any other player take control.

Honestly, I'd see this as an opportunity to show someone else that the game can be buckets o' fun. She's obviously got at least SOME nerd-tolerance, so maybe she'll be into it. And if not, no big deal, eh?

Patlin · Apr 2, 2008

The way I read the original post, it sounds like you are upset about this. Let me assure you it can be a very good thing. My current group is composed of two couples and two single guys, and I'm happy to have all of them. She may be new and only marginally interested now, but if she enjoys the game she might very well become someone who's a lot of fun to game with. The hobby needs new blood, and introducing new people to it is good for all of us. As an additional plus, if she joins the game she is less likely to object to her boyfriend playing it, so your chances of keeping your buddy in the game are better.

Irda Ranger · Apr 2, 2008

deathdonut said:
Any suggestions or ideas?

Yeah, don't try to "push" her into anything. Don't approach this situation like it's a problem (which your tone suggests is your current point of view). See the opportunity to bring a new gamer to D&D and the challenge of finding the best way to engage her in the various parts of the game (the combat, the RP, the tactics, etc.).

The above posters have some good specific advice, but the first thing that needs to get straight is your own attitude. Maybe I'm totally mis-reading your post's tone (and if so, my apologies), but good gaming always starts with the DM.

Thornir Alekeg · Apr 2, 2008

What KM said above with one addition: Talk to the rest of your group about this. Sorry to say it, but you sound really negative about the idea. If you or others in the group really feel like this is going to be a bad experience, you will inevitably prove yourselves right.

If you are actually open to the idea of teaching a new player, who is unsure about the game, to really enjoy it, you all need to be on board with it.

If there is a lot of eye-rolling when she is trying to understand what to do, or indecisiveness on her part, she will probably pick up on it and it will ruin her experience, probably convince her that either the game is stupid, or her boyfriend's friends are (or both) and possibly become an issue for the boyfriend, which will affect the rest of the group.

Just try and make her feel welcome.