[venting] DM frustration

fba827 · Jul 28, 2008

I am in that special kind of (hades' domain) that only some other DMs can fully understand.

There is a new person in the group. He is so exceptionally demanding on time and detail both in and out of the game.

He is a nice enough person, so I am trying my hardest to be patient and accommodate... but, all I can say is, I better be on some list for sainthood.

I don't want to give details, I just needed to vent.

Aaarrrg!

To all DMs that know my pain, you have my sympathies.

Okay, thanks for reading. Carry on with your day.

Frostmarrow · Jul 28, 2008

Keep it up! Take a deep breath and know you are doing a good job.

RabidBob · Jul 28, 2008

Everytime he demands too much attention have something bad happen to his character.

Gilladian · Jul 28, 2008

Have you tried telling him that he's being too demanding. Now, at the beginning, when both of you are still negotiating the friendship's boundaries, is the time to make that clear. Next time he asks a whole series of questions, or gets too "in your face" about what he's doing, or whatever, just sit back a little, and say "I'll deal with that in a minute".

Or "This is just a game, I don't have and don't want to have, all the answers."
Or "I just spent an hour with you, now it's time for me to spend an hour with X person."

Kzach · Jul 28, 2008

He's probably just excited about joining a half-way decent group.

I just joined a new group and I'm excited by the prospect of gaming with them because they all seem to have similar gaming styles to me and they're all my age and have roughly the same amount of experience in RPG's.

This is a very rare thing for me. To have found a group like this is like a golden ticket to the chocolate factory. I've tried not to be too overzealous but have probably already failed. It's hard when you've searched for years and failed to find the 'right' group. It's almost like a romantic relationship because you search, and search and search, and then when you find a compatible group, you don't want to screw it up but at the same time, you're bursting at the seams to game.

Pathetic, I know, but it's an apt analogy.

Point being, be up front. Appease his anxieties by reassuring him that he's ok and a welcome member to the group, but that he has to take his foot off the pedal a bit and relax.

Vancian Magic · Jul 28, 2008

You have my understanding and sympathies... I've no advice on how to deal with this new player however, since I tend not to play outside of long-standing gamer friends, and dealing with newbies and their quirks has never really been my strong suit.

DM_Jeff · Jul 28, 2008

fba827 said:
He is a nice enough person, so I am trying my hardest to be patient and accommodate... but, all I can say is, I better be on some list for sainthood.

Take heart, I am pretty darn sure there is a special place reserved for patient, helpful DMs who...put up...with some very difficult folks. I HAVE to beleive it after all this time!

-DM Jeff

TerraDave · Jul 28, 2008

are you sure you don't want to give at least a few details?

Mallus · Jul 28, 2008

fba827 said:
He is a nice enough person, so I am trying my hardest to be patient and accommodate... but, all I can say is, I better be on some list for sainthood.

Make sure you don't end up on the list for martyrdom. It's easy to mistake one list for the other...

Seriously though, don't just vent here, where it can't do any good. Talk to the demanding player. Direct communication is a wonderful thing. You can accomplish a quite a bit with some plainly spoken words and a wry smile (and an abscence of accusations, frustration, or anger).

Hand of Evil · Jul 28, 2008

There is an answer in the DM Adice thread...

[venting] DM frustration

fba827

Adventurer

Frostmarrow

First Post

RabidBob

First Post

Gilladian

Adventurer

Kzach

Banned

Vancian Magic

First Post

DM_Jeff

Explorer

TerraDave

5ever, or until 2024

Mallus

Legend

Hand of Evil

Hero

Similar Threads