New Tavern Thread: The Hanged Man

Lord Sessadore · Aug 22, 2009

Getting no response to his request for a wizard for the moment, Raiyek moves over to join Carolina, Kruk, and Grim. Hearing Carolina's comments about Mr. X, Raiyek raises a fist. "Hear, hear! He's going to regret using us as his pawns, indeed." Setting his dripping bag on the floor, he takes a seat next to the others.
[sblock=ooc]I, too, am waiting for Ren's sequel. No wizards around that want to clean sewer gunk off my gear, eh?

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dimsdale · Aug 22, 2009

Kruk, delighted that Raiyek and Carolina have come over to converse, gives the two a dwarven greeting in the form of a bear hug. As Kruk lets go, he slips and the his left arm (trying to steady himself by grabbing the table behind him) knocks over his ale. Gasping in mock horror "Oh no!...a fallen beverage. NOOOooooo." Laughing at his own joke he then states to Raiyek "Don't you worry about the smell coming out of the bag. My advice is that you should wear all of it in order to air it out a bit. That's what I'm doing." Kruk stands up and shows everyone his sewage stained armor, and in doing so, another piece of sewage falls off his beard.

After Kruk, Caronlina and Raiyek talk more about the the phantom Mr. X, Kruk drive to resolve things left unfinished leads him to state to the others around the table. "Sir, I'm not one for turning down work, but there is more to be done with the I was with in my last job (pointing to Raiyek, Carolina and Grim). Please accept my humble apology."

[sblock=ooc]
I too want to do the sequel to Renau1g's last adveture. I didn't realize Renau1g would have it ready so soon. With that said, Kruk widthdraws from the goblin adventure. THB, thanks for the invite and sorry for the miscommunication.
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Lord Sessadore · Aug 22, 2009

Raiyek's nose crinkles as Kruk displays his still-sewage-stained self. "Kruk ... you are a stalwart companion, but please do not hug me until that has been washed off. Please." He chuckles a bit at the comedy that is his dwarven friend, but still keeps his distance.

JoeNotCharles · Aug 22, 2009

KenHood said:
"Therefore, I suggest Plan B. It has been my experience, that if I inebriate myself to the point of ***** coma, I often awaken in the midst of adventure, quite often still wearing my clothes and my full purse of coin. Seein' as this fine establishment serves alcoholic beverages of a faintly tolerable sort, I would recommend that you join me."

Someone clears their throat just behind Hacker. Standing RIGHT behind him is a tall, thin man dressed in outlandish yellow and purple motley. Despite the brightness of his outfit, he somehow managed to get into the bar unnoticed.

"Friend," he says, "I might suggest a different course. You seem to have quite a gift for colorful linguistics. You know your way around a metaphor. I think you might be very interested in the offer I'm about to make..."

Suddenly the jester spins around to face the tavern and his voice booms out, magically amplified to flatten every other conversation in the room. "BECAUSE IT'S TIME FOR ANOTHER STORYTELLING CONTEST!"

7 Rabbit's face lights up, and the man nods at him. "Yes, YOU remember what I'm talking about - I remember the tale you told last time, and if you want my opinion, it should have won. You were robbed, sir, robbed! But now is your chance for a comeback! Any of you - yes, ANY of you - could go home with a purse of 50 shiny new gold coins offered by the Jongleur's Guild of Bacarte! Just entertain the crowd for 15 minutes with your best tales of adventure, your favourite local legends, hell your favourite dirty jokes, and at the end of the night the Jongleur's Guild will reward the best storyteller - as judged by the applause of your peers - with 50 BIG ONES. How can you go wrong?"

"Just sign the paper there -" he points to a sheet tacked to the board on the wall (which wasn't there a moment ago) "- and I'll be back tomorrow evening to hear your stories! And both I and the owners of this fine establishment hope you'll tell all your friends about this. Come support your local artists! Tomorrow evening! Right here!"

As he gives his speech, the jester's gestures grow more sweeping. With his last word he jabs his hands dramatically at the floor at his feet, which erupts in orange smoke. When the smoke clears, he's gone.

7 Rabbit applauds.

[sblock=OOC]
We did one of these before - everyone who wants to tell a story can post one, and at the end everyone whose character is in the tavern can post their vote for best story. If you want to participate, please post your character signing the sheet so I can get an idea of how many are interested (but if you want to join in later without signing, no problem).

We'll start as soon as the adventures being recruited now get sorted out.
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KenHood · Aug 23, 2009

Hacker Brass remains rigid throughout the Jongleur's entire spiel. After the smoke clears, he speaks out of the side of his mouth, "Is he...is he gone?"

With dread on his features, he darts his eyes behind him. Seeing the jester has departed, Hacker heaves a sigh of relief, and immediately sucks down another cigarette. His hands tremble as he lights another.

"Gawds-***** jongleur sons-a-***** eyesight is sensitive to movement. You gotta remain perfectly still or they'll notice you, then they'll do...horrible...inhuman...things, like ***** juggling or gawds-***** card tricks or--" The gnome shivers. "--pantomime."

"I tell you what, Chicome... (Yeah, I know. Surprising I know your name without you even havin' to tell me. It's little gift I've got, remains of my divinity. Don't work all the ***** time.) ...I just found our ***** adventure. It starts with an ambush for that little jongleur ***** when he shows up tomorrow night and ends with tyin' him up in his own intestines, bindin' him to a couple of big gawds-***** rocks, and throwin' his ***** ***** into the ***** sea."

"*****, partner, you'd think that a guild of artistes started by old Hacker Brass himself would have a little more ***** class, but NOOOOOOO. The gawds-***** moral decay of the whole ***** society started with the demo-*****-cratic bylaws and parliamentary procedure and ended with votin' to permit ***** jugglers and street magicians to join. 'Course, being in prison at the time for a triple homicide and arson, didn't exactly provide me with an opportunity to circumvent the process. It's a gawds-***** shame, that's what it is."

industrygothica · Aug 23, 2009

Carolina begins to feel sick after listening to the diatribe and tries to tune it out. "I think I'll be needin' another ale to get that one outta me head," she says.

[sblock=OOC]As for the feeling sick part, well--Carolina wasn't included in the round of heal checks, so I guess she's still got the fever. Maybe she should go and hug a gnome?

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Lord Sessadore · Aug 23, 2009

"He is the epitome of arrogance, isn't he?" Raiyek comments in response to Carolina. "Let me grab you that ale ... I think I need one too. You sure you're feeling OK?"
[sblock=ooc]I didn't roll for Carolina?? *facepalm*. I should probably fix that, then

Heal Carolina (1d20+9=10) ... all better?

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Lephisto · Aug 23, 2009

"Goblins?", Lephisto thought. The righteous paladin overheard the Dwarf and wondered if he take his place in the adventure. He quickly grabbed all his equipment and puts it into his bag. "It is my duty to protect the people from such fiendish monsters!, he proclaimed to himself.

[sblock=OOC] Can I take kruk's place in the Goblin adventure?[/sblock]

KenHood · Aug 24, 2009

"Excuse me, pardner," Hacker Brass says to 7 Rabbit, "I'll be back in a moment."

Hacker hops off the bar and begins sniffing the air. He follows his nose to Raiyek and Carolina's table.

"Hmm!" he grunts, "I thought I smelled somethin' funny. I reckon it must be all that ***** y'all are talkin'."

"Now, the wise men say, 'Judge not lest ye be judged.' Since y'all seem to be in a judgin' mood and freely expressin' your opinions, allow me to oblige with my own."

The gnome faces Raiyek and stabs a finger in his direction. "I seem to recollect, when I was a young fella, that paladins was ***** paragons of virtue, hacking down evil with shinin' swords and pure hearts, not callow ***** in a bar sharin' catty comments just loud enough for someone across the gawds-***** room to hear. So, permit me to retort with these simple words: ***** you."

Then, Hacker turns on Carolina. "As for you, little miss dis-*****-respectful, eye-rollin', matricidal *****, the only thing more empty than your head is your womb, which happens to be a dry and rocky place in which a man's seed may find no purchase. If you're ever in a generous mood, I'd like you to do two things for me: **** off, and die."

"To the rest of y'all," Hacker says, bowing to the other people at the table, "Have a fine evenin'."

The gnome strolls back to 7 Rabbit. "Now, where were we, pardner?"

industrygothica · Aug 24, 2009

Carolina blatantly coughs in he gnome's shriveled face as his smoky breath assaults her senses. "Yes, yes.. a thousand pardons." She coughs again and attempts to wave the foulness from in front of her.

When he leaves she whispers again to Raiyek--more quietly this time--with her eyes still on the hideous thing the gnome claims used to be a face. "I can see myself unloading a quarrel in that'n one day, foul little beastie that he is. But anyway, what shall we do about our more pressing matters?"

[sblock=OOC]Oh dear, did a sick halfling cough in someone's face? The horror![/sblock]