New Tavern Thread: The Hanged Man

dimsdale · Sep 7, 2009

Kruk's amused face now shows a look of concern for all parties involved after seeing the brutal hit the gnome delivered . "Woooh...things are getting a little crazy in here." He looks to Raiyek and others around him to see what actions they take before he makes one of his own, being that he'd already made a charge earlier in this encounter.

renau1g · Sep 7, 2009

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So, do the city guards have to show up to break up the chaos?

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KenHood · Sep 7, 2009

Wobbling, Hacker holds the poodle close to his face, studying it. He holds the poodle away from himself, giving it a careful look. He places his flint and steel back in his pocket, pulls the bottle of White Lightning out of the crook of his arm, removes the cigarette from his mouth, and takes a long, long drink. The gnome--eyes quite unfocused--scowls at Veruzak.

CaBaNa said:
Dog's respond mentally, you nasty little thing, find a kalashtar, or learn the ritual...

"Thazz jus' wha' th' ***** wan' ya t' thahnk, wi' all theeeeeir gawds-***** tail-waggin' an' yappin'. Iz all so's they kin g' cloooooose an' sniff a' yer *****. You'd thahnk a ***** wizzzzzzurr' wa' ha' better accesssssssss t' th' ***** seeeeecrets o' th' ***** uuuuuu-*hic*-uuuuuu-*hic*-universe."

Hacker looks at the lit cigarette in his fingers and giggles.

Then, the torches illuminating the tavern catch his attention. Dog in tow, the gnome stumbles over the bar and starts to drag a stool towards the nearest torch...

KenHood · Sep 7, 2009

Looks like somebody edited his post while I was writing mine...

While Hacker wrestles with the dog, the stool, and his half-consumed bottle of booze...

Mal Malenkirk said:
-''Let me get this straight before thing get even more heated, mister Hacker.

"Suuuuuure. Alwayssss hap' ta' help."

Mal Malenkirk said:
You knocked that poof unconscious even though your partner over there, Many Rabbits, needed information from him.

"Hizzzz name 's Seh...*urp*...seeeeven R-r-rabbi', idiot."

Mal Malenkirk said:
You almost blew apart Catein here, even though you had a verbal agreement to go on a mission with him (and me, now that I realize it!).

"Nooooooo, he muusta ha' 'n agreeeemen' t' 'venture w' me. An' heeee wuzzzz th' one started it."

Mal Malenkirk said:
You are obviously quite an asset to a team!

"****, yeah!"

Mal Malenkirk said:
And now you are manhandling a dog whose only crime is to have been purchased by a jackass who outfitted it with stupid accessories.

"I'mmmmmmm gnoooooomehandlin', youuuu raaaaascist *****."

Mal Malenkirk said:
That's quite a curriculum you are developing for potential employers and partners!''

"Yep. Sooooooo shu' up 'n be a gooooood stuuuuuuuden'."

Hacker stumbles, drops the dog and the stool, and vomits on Kendrick's shoes.

"Aaaaaaaaaw, *****. Nooooooow thas wha' I been lookin' fer..."

The gnome takes another swig from the bottle and wobbles towards the tavern door.

Oni · Sep 7, 2009

Lily watched in horror as the gnome continued to drink and rant. She set down the mug she had been carrying all this time and slowly pushed it away, silently vowing never to drink again.

KenHood · Sep 7, 2009

Oni gave me a big belly laugh!

Mal Malenkirk · Sep 8, 2009

Kendrick stares at the vomit on his boots for a moment for a momen in amusement. Then he turns to Catein.

-''Can you believe this? Talking works. Incredible. You be sure to remember that the next time. Seriously, you remember it, because I am bound to be the one starting the pointless fight. Now let's get you patched.''

nerdytenor · Sep 8, 2009

Just as Hacker is approaching the exit, the door swings back inside and smacks him in the face. From behind the door, a slight, pale young elf woman enters. She carries a small stick festooned with mushrooms, leaves, flowers, bugs, and gods-know what else. She has a small coin purse and a backpack, and she looks (and smells) as if she hasn't bathed in weeks.

Her eyes fix on Hacker as she enters, and she lights up with girlish glee, clearly oblivious to the fact that she just assaulted him. Or that he just vomited on someone's shoes.

"Hacker?!?!!?? Is that you?!?!? It's MEEEE!!!! Your Kathalia!" Kathalia jumps up and down and claps her hands.

"You wouldn't forget your biggest fan, would you?"

OOC: Kathalia, Elf Druid/Cleric

Oni · Sep 8, 2009

[sblock=ooc]

KenHood said:
Oni gave me a big belly laugh!

Hacker. Better than an after school special.

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KenHood · Sep 8, 2009

Blood spurting from his nose, Hacker rolls to a stop. Using a nearby table leg for support, he drags himself to his feet, starts to walk towards the door, and vomits again.

nerdytenor said:
"You wouldn't forget your biggest fan, would you?"

"No, I--"

BLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

It's amazing how much stomach capacity a gnome possesses...

"No, I--"

BLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Interesting fact: The largest organ in a gnome's body is the liver.

You think you can see pieces of it now...

"No, I--"

BLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Hacker tries to speak again.

BLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

He takes a breath.

BLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

He falls to his knees.

BLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

BLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

BLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

The puddle of vomit extends all the way from the wall to the bar. (Technically, only a small portion of it is chemically equivalent to vomit. The rest is pure, undigested alcohol. Curiously enough, it smells a lot like what you're drinking at the moment.)

Hacker lies on his side in the pool. Twitching.

"*****," he groans, "I'm sober again."

The poodle--being a dog--obliges itself to the new buffet on the floor.

Hacker looks up at Kathalia and gives her an insincere smile. "No, I'd never forget you, sweetheart."

"No matter how much I drink to drive away the memory."

"Just as a matter of...uh...curiousity: How did you happen to find me this time?"