The true Edena_of_Neith.

Edena_of_Neith

First Post
From Edena_of_Neith, to everyone:

Ten years ago, at the behest of my mother, and in agreement with her, I took out a $700,000 life insurance policy on her. At that time, mother was 72, and the policy was good for 10 years.

3 years later, when my family turned on mother, I had the perfect chance to collect.
Mother was alone, abandoned, in a filthy motel in Michigan, sick, without a car and nobody to help her. It was the dead of winter, and a winter blast was raging in Michigan. Mother was distraught on the phone, distraught and at the end of her wits.
I was in Florida. I drove from Florida to Michigan without stopping, 23 hours on the road. I went to that motel, I got my mother to a warm place, I spent my money to take her to safety and warmth and comfort. I got her out of that situation. I saved her life.

4 years after that, mother had a quadruple bypass. Afterwards, I was her only real caregiver.
Repeated trips to the hospital ER were necessary. I was the only one who knew how to drive on the freeway at this point. My parents had not done so in years. The stretch of I-75 between here and the hospital is deadly. The surface roads are insane.
One night, at 4 in the morning, mother came to me. She needed to go to the ER right then.
I had had only 30 minutes of sleep. Mother offered to let father drive. Father - who suffers from dementia - insisted on driving. Father was mostly asleep. It was the morning rush hour, to boot.
Had father driven, both he and mother would have crashed on those roads, and mother - in her shape - would have died. I would have collected the cash.
I got my butt up. I drove that 40 miles. I protected my mother.

I brought mother back from where the surgery sent her. I walked 250 miles with her. I forced her to breathe on the Breather. I talked her mind into coming back. I fought the Florida medical profession that wanted to keep her on drugs that would have made her a permanent vegetable. I won. Mother came back fully.

Now, the life insurance has just expired. Completely.
Guess what? I just threw away THREE QUARTERS OF A MILLION DOLLARS. Gone. Zip. Over with!

I face a life of poverty now, with no job, unemployable, crippled, no family, no nothing. I don't expect to live very long, to be frank.

But I have earned the right to be called a Hero.

Edena_of_Neith
 

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freyar

Extradimensional Explorer
Some things are worth more than money.

I don't know your situation now, but I hope that anything that can turn around for you will and give you a bit of hope.
 

Dannyalcatraz

Schmoderator
Staff member
Supporter
You gave up a fortune in $$$ to gain a fortune in self-esteem, and if you're the religious sort (as I am), a few more points in your favor at Heaven's Gate.

You did the rare thing- the humanitarian thing, the right thing- at every turn.

Hold your head high.

If your personal situation is indeed that dire, though, seek the help of the Gov't agencies (Fed/State/City) and social/religious organizations that exist to aid those who are in need of help.

My parents and I had to go through a slice of hell re-establishing a bunch of my family dislocated by Hurricane Katrina (several households worth). It cost us tens of thousands and no small amount of grief. Part of what got us through it were things like the Food Stamp program and the help of others.

Don't be afraid to ask for help. You've more than earned the right to do so.
 

Theo R Cwithin

I cast "Baconstorm!"
It's good to hear there are people out there like you, who do the right thing, rather than the easy thing. You've definitely earned Hero status.
I really hope you can work things out now.
 

Richards

Legend
Now, the life insurance has just expired. Completely.
Guess what? I just threw away THREE QUARTERS OF A MILLION DOLLARS. Gone. Zip. Over with!

I face a life of poverty now, with no job, unemployable, crippled, no family, no nothing. I don't expect to live very long, to be frank.

But I have earned the right to be called a Hero.

Edena_of_Neith
Perhaps I'm reading more into this than I should, and perhaps we have different definitions of the word "hero," but while the deeds you have done on your mother's behalf over the years are certainly very commendable, you seem to be claiming "hero" status solely by resisting the impulse to kill your mother (or otherwise allow her to die) in order to gain her $700,000 life insurance policy.

Edena, you were a hero simply by doing all you could for her over the years. The thought of "I could have been $700,000 richer if I'd let her die" - to me, at least - are not the thoughts of a hero, and you certainly don't get any "hero bonus points" by NOT killing your mother for financial gain.

Hell, if that were true, then every one of us who has resisted the impulse to kill our parents to cash in on their insurance policies are by definition heroes.

I prefer to hold the term "hero" to a higher standard.

Johnathan
 

Janx

Hero
I too am a bit leary of the OP's claimed status, though for different reasons.

Firstly, it is commendable that the OP made efforts to help and save a family member's life.

It is also commendable that the OP's mother, seeing the end near, took steps to provide an inheritance for her child. A parents goal should always be to not become a burden or setback to their children. Unfortunately, I know of a few families where this ideal is not being held and parents are deliberately trying to leach off their children, rather than being self sufficient when they can.

Here's what bother's me about the OP's tale. Firstly, posting about your good deeds can be seen as a form of bragging, something not generally accepted in today's culture. In effect, it is looking for an attaboy, especially as a cold-call. Had there been a thread of "post a good deed you've done" it might be more appropriate.

Secondly, the intent of the OP's mother appears to have been to leave her child in good financial standing, because she was old, and knew her time was short. The OP defied that and on multiple instances and is now apparently in serious financial straights.

Depending on the nature of the mother's illness, what has happpened is that her suffering has been extended and her savior has been financially ruined. How is this a victory?

The reality of all this is much more complex. If you get a call for help, it is right and good to go out and answer it. If you see somebody incompetent about to do a job and put somebody else's life at risk, you work to take them out of that role, and potentially do it yourself.

There comes a line, however, where helping somebody should not set you so far back that you cannot climb out again. There are times where sacrificing your very life is worth it. There are just as many other times where sacrificing all you have is just bad decision making.

Making a few drives is just time and gas money. That's an effort that is worth the investment. Spending all your money on a 72+ year old who should have medicare/medicaid/social security to assist her medical needs, not as good a use of your resources.

My mom died in hospice from cancer at the age of 54, 1500 miles away. So I have made that decision.
 
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