River was silent and thinking, following the group.
During the last war, he had been healing people in camps, people who had fought to defend their nation, their right or simply the ambition of their leaders. They were obeying order and were suffering or getting killed for it. To River, the reason was so big and so out of his control that traveling from camp to camp to heal the soldier seemed something wise to do. When he needed to enter a combat field, he had the chance to be assigned to heal the defenders of the territory, it was part of the agreement he had passed with the halflings of Jorasco. And even if he had a weapon and he had taken part of the combat, nothing would have changed, or except maybe he would have died and he would have not save any further life.
After the war, it was even simpler. He had only to heal the wounds left by the war. Some times, he had to heals member of authorities, or rarely some caught criminals. His role was simple, he was needed, and never the need to fight arise.
Now that he decided to take a more active role, now he was following that group of adventurer, his conviction was shaken. Because of his wish of preserving life, he had seen Lanharath almost get killed against the doppelganger. Lanharath had also pointed him the weakness of his conviction. He had always believed that his gift was given by Arawai because of his conviction, but he had also seen some followers of Arawai raise a weapon in the name of the defense of life or of the nature.
Something was telling him that it was now just a question of time before he was put in front of the choice of killing or letting kill and that idea was scaring River.
Lanharath, you were wise enough to see the weakness in my faith. Arawai, preserve me from doing a costly mistake. thought River.
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