Q. What does it take to be a Rat Bastard DM?
A. The Rat Bastard DM's Club is a secret organization (sect? cult?) whose origins are shrouded in mystery and flumphs. Nobody knows who they are, or where they come from. The best our sages have been able to discern is that to become a RBDM, you must chase penguins and parlay with swashbuckling felines.
Q. Are you one?
A. I've been called one before (and I've been called worse, too.) But as far as belonging to the RBDM club, nope.
Q. How many TPK's have you caused?
A. Just one that I can remember. But I turned it into a story arc, and everyone was happy.
Q. How many dice have been thrown at you?
A. Just 2d6. The funny thing is, we were playing Monopoly at the time. One of the guys at the table got really frustrated that I wouldn't trade my last railroad for his crappy pale-blue slums, and threw his dice at me in defiance. He was already winning anyway...
Q. How many character sheets have you ripped up?
A. I have never destroyed a character sheet that was not my own.
Q. How, exactly, have you caused mental anguish to your players?
A. I once led the PCs on a spider-themed adventure into a spider-infested forest, where they did battle with dozens of aberrant monsters that I had modified with my Half-Spider template. The final showdown was a battle with a half-dragon monstrous spider, whose breath weapon was a swarm of twitching, biting black widow spiders. I described everything in great detal and high Gygaxian prose, right down to the squeaking, popping noises the black widow spiders made when squished underfoot during the battle.
Two of the three players were actual, card-carrying arachnophobes. Not just squeamish, not just the "spiders creep me out" sort. No, these guys had real issues.
Hey, they asked for it. It was Halloween, and they told me to "come up with something extra-scary" to mark the occasion. I merely complied with their wishes.
Q. Have you ever fudged a die roll to kill a character. For example, you rolled a 3 but told everyone it was a "natural 20."
A. I have never fudged a roll in combat. In fact, I make all of my combat rolls outside the screen, in full view of the players. That said, I will fudge any other roll that needs to be rolled behind the screen, such as for Search checks and whatnot. I'm not doing it to be a dick; I am just trying to drive the story forward. If the party really needs to find that secret door to avoid spending the next six hours roaming the halls and fighting random encounters, I'm on it.
Q. What else?
A. I kicked one of my players out of the gaming group because I found out she was cheating on my best friend.
