DM's Choice #4

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  1. #1
    Hydra (Lvl 25)

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    DM's Choice #4

    The next installment in Marcus Lake's comic strip!

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    Last edited by Morrus; Friday, 22nd October, 2010 at 11:22 PM.

  2. #2
    Definitely an improvement. A decent flow and the joke is at least funny enough for a random comic strip.

    My only mild criticism is that having a soldier call for robot dog spies is a bit random and non sequiter and seems like your trying to force the joke a bit. Usually jokes are funnier if you can tie them into something recognizable.

  3. #3
    I am rooting for the author here. I really want this strip to do well.

    With that said, all of the strips so far feel forced.

    DMs choice #3 I thought was an improvement. This particular strip though, I thought took two steps back. I have no good suggestions, as I am not particularly funny myself.

    Perhaps you are trying really hard? Maybe let it come to you.

  4. #4
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    Greater Elemental (Lvl 23)

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    Honestly not getting it. What is Marcus referring to here? Dogs playing poker? Huh?

  5. #5
    Yeah it's robots dogs playing online poker. I think the punchline has some potential for funny, it's just that there is no good reason for robot dogs to even be there in the first place.

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