Wandering Damage Table!
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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Singapore
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    8,177

    Wandering Damage Table!

    Darths and Droids is a pretty good screencap webcomic (in the style of DM of the Rings), but I thought last Thursday's update (27 Jan 2011) was worthy of particular mention because it reproduced the Wandering Damage Table from Dragon #96.

    Some of my favorites:

    (Wandering Damage System Matrix)
    4 Your character cuts himself while shaving; consult Limb Loss Subtable.

    (Limb Loss Subtable)
    6 Torso cut in half

    (Random Damage Subtable)
    36-40 Roll every die you own for damage.
    66-70 Roll every die within 30 feet for damage.
    71-73 Add up the total hit points of everyone in the party. Take that much damage.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Fredericksburg
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    7,641
    Exactly! Who needs monsters? Cut out the middleman and deal out damage directly.

    My fav from that table IIRC was:

    Something invisible chews on you for 6-36 points of damage.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Hayward, CA
    Posts
    2,352
    I really enjoyed these strips.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Long Beach, California
    Posts
    5,537
    This reminds me - I want to try a time-traveling opponent sometime.

    Player: I'll walk quietly down the hall, watching the floor and the ceiling.
    Referee: (throws 2d10) Okay, you take fourteen points of damage.
    Player: Huh?!? From what?!
    Referee: You'll find out in . . . (throws 1d6) . . . four rounds.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Helsinki, Finland
    Posts
    5,127
    The inappropriately carefree DM response table:

    1d20

    1. "No."
    2. "I don't think so."
    3. "Because 5 trolls suddenly surprise you."
    4. "It's 2 meters long."
    5. "That's what the elf said."
    6. "You fumble."
    7. "It's from Monty Python."
    8. "A dragon, and he looks angry."
    9. "A 5x5 room. There's pie in the middle. It is guarded by an orc."
    10. "Yes. But only if you score a critical."
    11. "You don't see anything."
    12. "Someone hits you on the back of the head. You are knocked out. Roll for damage."
    13. "You don't know."
    14. "You hear a scream for help. Hop to it, hero."
    15. "There's a castle on a hilltop. It looks magnificent."
    16. "There's a manor within the woods. It looks spooky."
    17. "It's only a model."
    18. "You find nothing."
    19. "I rolled a critical."
    20. "A wizard did it."

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Mississippi
    Posts
    4,123
    Quote Originally Posted by jonesy View Post
    15. "There's a castle on a hilltop. It looks magnificent."
    It's just a model!

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