Going Nova

Zinovia · Mar 17, 2011

Going Nova
(to the tune of Going Mobile by the Who)
By Zinovia

What's that I see?
Some vampires and banshees
I'm going nova!
Be it ghost or zombie
Or annoying NPC
Going nova!
Keep me slaying

I can pull the foes to me
When I use my daily
Going nova!
When I face an enemy
I'm giving him the third degree
Going nova!
Keep me slaying

Out in the woods
Or in the city
It's all the same to me
On a killing spree, no escapees
When I'm nova

Slash stab!
Zap zap!

The BBEG
Can't lay a hand on me
When I'm nova
The DM shakes his head
'Cause his guys are all dead
When I'm nova
Keep me slaying

Keep me slaying
All your XP
Keep me playing
Now belongs to me

Come on slay now
Slaying
Keep me slaying, yeah
Come on slay now
Keep me slaying, the DM dismaying, yeah
Slaying, yeah
Nova, nova, nova, nova, nova...

I don't care about my surges
We're a CharOp'ed min-maxed party
As I'm killing these stirges
Watch the monsters and the villains miss me
I'm nova!
Ac-tion point!
Nova, nova, nova yeah

Prestidigitalis · Mar 19, 2011

Yeah, but what can you do with Pinball Wizard and Won't Get Fooled Again?

Zinovia · Mar 21, 2011

Prestidigitalis said:
Yeah, but what can you do with Pinball Wizard and Won't Get Fooled Again?

RAW Orb Wizard
(To the tune of Pinball Wizard by the Who)
By Zinovia

Ever since I started 4E
Each class I heard their call
From clerics down to warlocks
I must have played them all
But I ain't seen nothing like him
In any dungeon crawl
That old robed wizard
Sure wields a mean glass ball

He casts spells around him
His targeting is keen
Slaying all the minions
The body count's obscene
But when he fights a solo
You know it's gonna fall
That old robed wizard
Sure wields a mean glass ball

He's a RAW orb wizard
His spells you can't resist
A RAW orb wizard
His effects they all persist

Hey do you think he's broken?
(I think so)
Orb makes him too good!

Save penalties a stackin'
With no chance to dispel
The monsters he's attackin'
Failed saves then they fell
Always pushin' creatures
Into his fire wall
That old robed wizard
Sure wields a mean glass ball

I thought I was
The striker damage king
But I just handed
My "I win" button to him

Even 'gainst elites and solos
He can beat the best
He shoots them with his magic
His orb just does the rest
He's got crazy hot d20s
Never seen him fall
That old robed wizard
Sure wields a mean glass ball.

I will leave Won't Get Fooled Again as an exercise for the reader.

Arlough · Mar 21, 2011

Failed save again.

Failed Save Again
(To the tune of Won't be fooled again by the Who)

We were fighting an Efreet,
When his chains wrapped 'round my feet,
And he began to move me fast across the floor.
And as I slid across the room,
Towards my impending doom,
I saw the flames lick up from an opening trap door.

All my defenses failed to offer up protection,
'Gainst another case of expensive resurrection.
My only chance to live yet another round,
And for the 14th time today,
I hope the it finally goes my way.
And I roll the die and pray...
It's a failed save again.
Failed save again!

A beholder was my foe,
And from the start it made me slow,
But too soon I found I couldn't move
That's when I heard the DM say,
“Least it wasn't his death ray!”
And a angry glare is all that I could do.

All my defenses failed to offer up protection,
'Gainst another case of expensive resurrection.
My only chance to live yet another round,
And for the 14th time today,
I hope the it finally goes my way.
And I roll the die and pray...
It's a failed save again.
Failed save again!
Oh no!

I got caught by the glare of Demogorgon's eyes
I thought I was safely on his vulnerable side.
But I guess I reminded him of some other guy,
'Cause Dominated (save ends) made me want to cry,

Why me!

To the spiders I was meat,
To the wights, a special treat.
'Gainst that dragon, nothing more than a foot-note.
Aftereffects, they are the worst,
You see I think I have a curse,
And for success feel like failure kills my hope.

All my defenses failed to offer up protection,
'Gainst another case of expensive resurrection.
My only chance to live yet another round,
And for the 14th time today,
I hope the it finally goes my way.
And I roll the die and pray...
It's a failed save again.
Failed save again!
Oh no!

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG!

I bought a new die,
Rolls same as the old die.