Off to War - canceled

HolyMan · Jul 16, 2011

Going over Hera... corrections/suggestions in red

[sblock=Hera]

Code:

Name: Hera
Class: Paladin
Race: Human
Size: M
Gender: F
Alignment: LG
Deity: LG - [COLOR=Red]you added a church name IC yo could add that here 
                or in a notes block[/COLOR]

Str: 16 +3 (10p.)      Level: 1             HP: 12 (1d10+2)
Dex: 13 +1 (05p.)         XP: -            ACP: -1
Con: 14 +2 (06p.)        BAB: +1       Dmg Red: 0/0
Int: 10 +0 (02p.)    Grapple: +4     Spell Res: 0
Wis: 14 +2 (06p.)      Speed: 30'   Spell Save: -
Cha: 14 +2 (06p.)       Init: +5    Spell Fail: 15% [COLOR=Red]not applicable[/COLOR]

         Base Armor Shld Dex DB  Nat Misc Total
Armor:    10   +3    +0   +1 +0  +0   +0   14
Touch: 11  Flatfooted: 13

           Base Mod Misc Total
Fort:       2   +2        +4
Ref:        0   +1        +1
Will:       0   +2        +2

Weapon             Attack  Damage  Critical
Greatsword           +4    2d6+4    19/x2


Languages: Common

Special: Aura, Detect Evil, Smite [COLOR=Red](1/day)[/COLOR],
Feats: Impv Initiative, Power Attack, Athletic,[COLOR=Red] should add paladin weapon
 and armor prof here as you are able to swap them, just need to know what 
you keep/have
[/COLOR]
Skill Points: 16 [COLOR=Red](have skill points at 12 [2+0 x4]+4) [/COLOR]
Max Ranks: 4/2

Skills         Ranks  Mod Misc  ACP Total
Diplo            4    +2   +0   -0   +6
Swim             4    +3   +2   -2   +7
Climb            4    +3   +2   -1   +8
Jump             4    +3   +0   -1   +6

[COLOR=Red]Swim, Climb, and Jump are cross-classed skills max rank is 2 
And I added the ACP line
[/COLOR]
Equipment: 
Item                           Cost    Weight
Studded Leather                25gp     20lb
Greatsword                     50gp      8lb
Backpack                        2gp      2lb
Bedroll                         1sp      5lb
Waterskin                       1gp      4lb
x2 Beltpouch                    2gp      1lb
Travelers clothes              free      0lb


Money: 69gp 9sp 0cp       Total Weight: 40lb 

              Lgt Med  Hvy  Lift Push
Max Weight:   76  153  230  230  460

Description:
Age: late 20's
Height: about 2 meters
Weight: -
Eyes: brown
Hair: brown
Skin: white

[/sblock]Also could you add the background from here to the character sheet, thanks in advance.

HM

Megan Voss · Jul 16, 2011

Fixes applied. Thank you HM.

And sorry Zerith. But I'm going to have Hera ignore Alexander this time. She, and obviously a few others, cannot abid his vain and prideful tongue. Your careful questions must seek their answers elsewhere. Perhaps in the future her true alliegence will surface in the form of action and character. Until then, even the grandest of words will not suffice the unbeliever who seekth after signs. For even the brightest truth among friends is seen as the darkest lie among strangers. lol. *wink*

Herobizkit · Jul 17, 2011

This is another toughie.

I'm finding myself liking my character, the setting is great, and the other players are very invested in their dialogue and narrative. Myself, not so much. It's making me dread trying to post in here, and I don't want to ruin a good thing.

I don't know how to fix it. An "attaboy, keep at it" isn't going to do it.

Thoughts, input please?

Dragonwriter · Jul 17, 2011

Herobizkit said:
This is another toughie.

I'm finding myself liking my character, the setting is great, and the other players are very invested in their dialogue and narrative. Myself, not so much. It's making me dread trying to post in here, and I don't want to ruin a good thing.

I don't know how to fix it. An "attaboy, keep at it" isn't going to do it.

Thoughts, input please?

Could you be a little more specific? You say you aren't invested, right after saying you like your character and the setting. Seems a little contradictory to me, unless there's something you aren't saying.

Is it also possible this may just be a phase?
I know after a while of playing Jareth (particularly after about a year, when he was still really angry at everything), I was getting a little tired of him. Then stuff happened to change his outlook quite a bit and I was engaged with playing him again.

Herobizkit · Jul 17, 2011

More specifically, I am daunted to try and write as creatively and as lengthy as the others. We added a new party member and that player is just as verbose and obsequious as Alexander's player.

I just get a sinking feeling when I have to try and come up with new stuff to say; it's specifically the issue with taking the time to write a good post versus a fast one.

Dragonwriter · Jul 17, 2011

Herobizkit said:
More specifically, I am daunted to try and write as creatively and as lengthy as the others. We added a new party member and that player is just as verbose and obsequious as Alexander's player.

So don't try to write like them. Personally, I don't care for long posts that say nothing. If you really want to have your character ponder on the color of the sky, then waffle between deciding whether the clouds are more grey or white, I'm not going to waste my time reading it.

You can be perfectly creative without writing like Dickens.
[sblock=Short side-rant on Dickens]
Seriously, the man could not write a simple sentence or get to the damn point! He took an entire paragraph to debate why a door-nail is the most-dead of all nails, instead of a coffin-nail being the most-dead... Needless to say, I do not find A Christmas Carol to be an enjoyable read.

[/sblock]

Verbosity and quality of speech do not go hand in hand. I suggest you play your character as you enjoy and as you envision.
Look at Trinham/ghostcat, for instance. The last month, while all sorts of discussion and politicking is going on in K2V, he's kept pretty quiet IC while everyone else handles the talking. Yet he receives a pretty good sum of XP because he is keeping true to the character of the inexperienced, unsure soldier-kid. I don't think a single post of his this month has broken 100 words, but he's sticking with the character's style and receives good XP for it (the breaks with his familiar probably help

).

I just get a sinking feeling when I have to try and come up with new stuff to say; it's specifically the issue with taking the time to write a good post versus a fast one.

Time can always crop up as an issue... There's really no avoiding that one. It might be best to set aside a small block of time here and there to handle your posts.

Axel · Jul 18, 2011

Herobizkit said:
More specifically, I am daunted to try and write as creatively and as lengthy as the others. We added a new party member and that player is just as verbose and obsequious as Alexander's player.

I just get a sinking feeling when I have to try and come up with new stuff to say; it's specifically the issue with taking the time to write a good post versus a fast one.

Please don't feel daunted on my account. Verbosity and length is one thing, but content is entirely separate. I like Tio's input to date. It is short, direct and lacking the layers of

that Alexander (and now Hera?) put on top. Exactly like he was negotiating to buy a pound of bananas at the market.

It took me a month or two to find Alden's "voice" and possible/likely responses to stimuli. It's the same with RL characters too...takes awhile to get into your stride with them.

Time can be/often is an issue. I get around this by reading the posts in the morning (before work, normally) and then writing out my post later (lunch break perhaps). It gives me time to think of a central point that I am going to make, and some general trends for actions and dialogue. This is my first PbP game, and learning the discipline for "good" posting is hard...

Megan Voss · Jul 18, 2011

Herobizkit, I think your posts are great and that your character is fun. Because it is Your character. You can make it whatever you want. This is your power.

As far as lengthy writing. Don't do it. The less their is to the read, the better. Hera is new so I'm being very discriptive and writing alot. It's the only way I know to take a 'Character Sheet' and make it into a 'Character of Depth'.

If you want to learn how to make long posts, then here are some ideas:

...

Setting and Atomsphere:
Include the feeling and depth of the setting and descriptive traits of your surroundings. Use all five senses and expound upon them.

Internal, External, and Verbal Communication:
Include what your character is thinking, gesturing, and saying.

Beyond the Box:
Include things that are not implied in the DM's journey or quest. Small things like, passing memories, momentary distractions, names of places you'll never go, animals by the roadside, and maybe architexture or design of local buildings.

Perspective determines Reality:
Your character is how you percieve the DM's world. It is a window by which you look out and observe the fantasy around you. Thus, be aware that Bias or Assumptions can -- and will -- change the adventure for you. Example: ...A Wizard will see Cause and Effect through the window of intillectual thought. ...A Warrior will see Cause and Effect through the window of tactics and warfare. ...A Paladin will see Cause and Effect through the window of their God and religion. These are all Bias. And Bias will affect the way you post and what your character "Percieves to be Reality". Conclusion: Don't include the world as it is. Include the world as your character sees it.

...

These are just a few ideas. Use them or don't. We are here to have fun, not become the author's of a literary novel. You are not required to make anybody happy either. Your writing does not have to please anybody but yourself. Herobizkit, I like you just the way you are. Because you are Awesome!!!

Dragonwriter · Jul 20, 2011

Wow HM, I think there might be just a single square inch of rug still under Jareth's feet. Feel like yanking the rest of it away?

Keep up with these revelations destroying his point of view and he'll just end up a nervous wreck, gibbering in the corner.

And to Herobizkit: I read through my post and realized my tone could have come off as harsh or dismissive. I'd like to assure you that wasn't my intent, if you saw it that way.

I definitely agree with Axel - Tio is refreshingly direct in Con Man. Please, keep that! It'll getting way too full of circle-speak without you!