CERAMIC DM March 2012


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steeldragons

Steeliest of the dragons
Epic
Let him roll with it. It's nice to see him trying to expand on his vocabulary. He used to only communicate with "Aaarrrrrrr"s and "Meow"s.

<Not a judges thing, sorry. Completely unrelated to CDM statement warning>
Speaking of, did anyone see American Dad a couple of weeks ago? Steve's new dog was [almost] killed (in total American Dad/Family Guy non sequitur style) by having a hot air balloon full of "pirate cats" land on it.

Guess who immediately came to mind? And couldn't, for the life of me, imagine where else such a reference would have boiled from.

Is Seth a friend of yours PC? (if so, soooo jealous! Love that guy and his work.)

</completely unrelated to CDM>

--SD
 




Mirth

Explorer
Mirth - Judgment

Round 1, Match 5

UselessTriviaMan vs. maxfieldjadenfox

I'll spare the excuses and get straight to the biscuits...

Style -- The Gods are with us in these stories. We have UTM's freshly reincarnated boy-god vs. mfjf's reborn ancient god. It really is something to see the ways in which these pictures can craft stories of high dissimilar themes, like some of our previous matches have done, or ones with tangential themes, like these, that still develop in different ways. In UTM's story we start with the lowest rung of the ladder, street urchins, and work our way up to a being of the highest order. In mfjf's tale, the plot hinges on a forgotten god who awakens at the beginning and works to reclaim what was lost to him, his followers. Both stories ooze with creativity and I would be hard pressed to find fault with either one. I enjoyed each immensely, both as stories unto themselves, and also as touchstones for rpg world-building. Bravo on a job well done to both contestants, there is no clear winner here.

Picture use -- I also found the picture use to be very well handled in both stories. In UTM's story the temple was used to great effect as a set piece the main action, as was the head priestess with her antlers and her cruel smile. The beggar, which I thought at first was a throwaway, came back very deftly as the major cause of conflict in the story. The only issue I have was that the gnome and his device were sort of stapled on to the main narrative. However, the picture was still fairly well used, it just pales in comparison to the extremely well thought out use of the other pictures in UTM's story. In mfjf's story we see the astrologer, the last true believer of the forgotten god, as both the man with the device and the man in white robes later, which was a very clever way to tie the two pictures together and make them both relevant to the main plot, in fact, that character sets the plot in motion. Before we see the temple as a picture in the story, we have already "seen" it because mfjf set up the setting so well that it just confirmed our already preconceived notion of what the temple would look like. Again, very clever. Lastly, when I thought we would have another throwaway pic, mfjf brought back the antlered woman as the surprise daughter-goddess, a very nice trick to pull off. I would have to say that both were evenly matched in this category.

Personal connection -- So … we come down to my personal preference. I felt a strong connection to mfjf's story of godly reawakening and redemption. There was something palpable about the way the god was described as he rose from his slumber that spoke to ancient cultures and dead civilizations which I found most intriguing. But I also was captivated by UTM's narrative voice, which made me walk in his street urchin's footsteps, look through his eyes, and take in his world, all the while plotting and scheming against me as a reader and pulling a fast one on me at the end. This has been the toughest round for me so far. If I had the choice, I would call this one a draw. If find them equally good, with so few flaws that neither of them is a decisive champion.

Final judgment - But I don't have the freedom to call a draw, so I will go with my gut on this one. Although mfjf's tale was solid, practically flawless and highly entertaining, I found UTM's story to have a slightly better execution of craft in characterization and plot.

My nod for Round 1, Match 5 goes to … UselessTriviaMan!

EDIT: Having read the other two judgments, it looks like ...

THE WINNER OF ROUND 1, MATCH 5 IS USELESSTRIVIAMAN!!!
 
Last edited:



Mirth

Explorer
Mirth - Judgment

Round 1, Match 6

Hellefire vs. Daeja

More biscuits, less gravy...

Style -- These two entries couldn't be farther apart in style and substance if we had ruled them to be so. On one hand, we have Hellefire returning us to the glory days of the earliest Ceramic DM challenges with a good old-fashioned D&D adventure (of which, I wrote my share when I was a competitor). Diametrically opposed to that is Daeja's comedy of two wannabe sorcerers and the havoc they wreak with hardly any effort or remorse. I like elements of both pieces, but ultimately I feel they suffer from some serious deficiencies in their overall craft. In Hellefire's adventure, we have the aftermath of a dungeon (or mansion) looting gone astray. Hardly anyone writes in 2nd person anymore and I thought the voice of the DM was very strong in the opening scene. However, I expected that narrative to continue and perhaps work itself out as a log/journal of one group's campaign, a very risky and very creative choice for a story that I was excited to read. Instead, what I got was a railroad plot (can't go in the water, can't climb the cliff wall, etc.) with some small scenes sketched out between lines and lines of stats. Those small scenes have some tasty morsels in them (which I'll get to a bit in the next section) but sadly I felt the adventure paid short shrift to its narrative and plot and didn't really work as an adventure, either. Daeja's rollicking tale of whacko wizards and their magical misfires had its fun moments, but also suffered from some haunting questions that just weren't answered sufficiently for me as a reader. Given what Shanna and Felix have done at the beginning of the story, why would Yevin ever trust them to be on their own, unsupervised, for a week? Why would he let them take the foot with them? Why are there earth elemental creation eggs just lying around on a beach? Wouldn't the whole village be at risk of turning into raging elementals if the other eggs burst? Why are Shanna and Felix so scared of Yevin if he's so lackadaisical and easy-going about their offenses? The questions go on and on. It's not to say that I didn't enjoy some elements of both works, I'm just saying that both have problems and shortcomings that needed to be worked out.

Picture use -- Picture use was also a struggle for both competitors. Hellefire's Rollin' Robby is an interesting concept and it's nice to see a non-combative wandering monster encounter, but he doles out magic and money like nobody's business and he adds nothing to the plot, whatever it might be. The same goes for the Vulture Turtle eggs, the Sharkgulls and the Foot of Marvin -- I love the concepts (truly), but they are just a list of items and monsters and not a story or a plot unto themselves. In Daeja's story, I felt the Sharkgull was used very well as both a character and plot device. The foot was also used in an interesting way, but it felt a bit shoehorned (pun intended) into the story as a whole. The eggs and the bee/tree creature both seemed forced and contrived (although I really liked the framing and description of the egg exploding and the spores hitting Felix).

Personal connection -- Not a fan of railroading and Hellefire's adventure left me cold. I believe with some concerted effort, there is enough there to make a grand adventure, but what is on the page isn't it. Daeja's tale was nice, breezy, and funny, but it was a little too light for my tastes -- it needs more meat on the bones, too.

Final judgment - For Hellefire, the totality of the adventure needs to be tightened up, given more structure, fleshed out and in general, made whole for it to be serviceable. Some great ideas in there, definitely worth salvaging, but not nearly enough to win this competition without some serious work. Although I have my reservations about Daeja's plot and narrative construction as well, I feel that style and picture use won the day.

My nod for Round 1, Match 6 goes to … Daeja!
 

maxfieldjadenfox

First Post
Thank you judges for what turned into kind of a nail-biter for me! (If anyone drops out of the next round, I'd be happy to step in. :)) Congrats to my worthy opponent, UselessTriviaMan - you must go forward and win for both of us now, my son...
 

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