CERAMIC DM March 2012
- Thread starter steeldragons
- Start date
UselessTriviaMan
Explorer
Works for me!
Only because you have not yet come up against me, and my sPoRk Of DoOm!!!!
Phear me!!!!!!
Good morning and happy Sunday, all!
ROUND 1: MATCH 3
@Piratecat vs. @Deuce Traveler
Start time, 10am EST, Sunday, March 11.
Deadline 10am EST, Wednesday, March 14.
Good luck and have fun.
--Steel Dragons
ROUND 1: MATCH 3
@Piratecat vs. @Deuce Traveler
Start time, 10am EST, Sunday, March 11.
Deadline 10am EST, Wednesday, March 14.
Good luck and have fun.
--Steel Dragons
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FickleGM
Explorer
Word count = 1050
[SBLOCK]
The red teapot shook slightly in the woman's trembling hand, as she refilled the man's cup. Of course, the shaking was understandable, considering the circumstance in which she found herself. Heck, any right-minded person would be hard-pressed to keep calm in a situation such as this.
“That is a mighty fine teapot, Miss Hennessy,” was all the man said as he withdrew the cup and prepared to take a sip.
“Tha-thank you, Colonel. If you…”
The distinguished gentleman lowered the cup and interrupted her mid-syllable, “It would be a crying shame if you were to drop it and spill all that freshly brewed tea, now would it not?”
On the verge of breaking completely down, the lady managed to stutter a short reply, “Ye-yes, Co-colonel.”
A shrewd, almost cruel, smile formed behind the man's mustaches, “Do not forget, Miss Hennessy, that you are not the one which I require. Your presence here is only meant to assure compliance. I know that ideas stir in that mind of yours, and for all of our sakes, I would hope that those ideas were not ill-intentioned.”
Strands of graying hair fell across a once-proud face as the woman lowered her head. Without saying another word, she turned and walked into the other chamber where she hung the teapot over the dying embers. Sitting upon the cold, stone bed, she buried her face in her hands and sobbed.
The way he treated her was deplorable. After all, she was a woman of society, of class, of breeding. She did not deserve to be dragged across the world, forced to live in abominable conditions, and to serve his unsavory appetites.
Yet, because of me, this fate has befallen her and now we find ourselves sleeping in a chamber of some crumbling ruin while he plots his next move. It isn't easy being powerless to change one's situation, but for her, I must continue to do what is expected. Perhaps we will find our way out of this mess.
The curtain was pulled down and light poured into the ancient room as the man's booming voice shattered the silence, waking both of us in the process, “Get up, Miss Hennessy! I believe that our journey is almost at an end.”
As was the routine every time we traveled to a new locale, Miss Hennessy scampered about packing the gear, while the Colonel merely stood, watching the horizon in the direction he intended to travel. His hand, as always, caressed the gun at his side. A gentle reminder that the lady had no choice if she wished to survive this nightmare.
I watched as the ruins, with their faceless and headless statues, were left behind us. What lied before us? Only the madman with the gun knew the answer to that.
The journey took us, as had been the case for each prior leg, far from the place we last vacated. We traveled by mule, by train, by boat and by plane. I would have liked to have seen more along our trip, but aside from glimpses here and there, the black velvet which blanketed my quarters, kept me blinded for the majority of our time together. I only know that the trip took many days, but eventually, we found ourselves on the banks of some tropical river.
The Colonel lifted me from the cage and set me on the damp ground, where I shook the moisture from my feathers and looked up at the man. He seemed more excited than usual, as he stared impatiently at me. Perhaps we did near the end of our quest.
I then shifted my gaze to Miss Hennessy, the poor woman whose only crime was to end up with me, a most special kiwi bird, as a pet. I loved her very much and would do anything for her. I could not, however, free her from this situation. The sadness was evident behind tired and fearful eyes. Do not worry, my lady, it will all be over soon.
“Your pet need only to do its task once more and you both shall be set free, Miss Hennessy,” he smiled at the woman, but his smile offered no solace. “I am a man of my word, regardless of any other things you may believe me to be.”
The ground was welcoming and the temptation to run was great, but I knew that he'd kill us both if I did. I resigned myself to doing what needed to be done and began to probe the ground with my bill, as I had done so many times before.
Colonel Pembroke was right, again. The object he sought was nearby, its scent strong in my nostrils. I smelled something else, though. Something dark and ominous stirred. I knew what must be done.
“Ah ha! He has found it, again,” the Colonel almost danced as his excitement was palpable. He turned to the lady with a most wicked grin and exclaimed, “Miss Hennessy, we are finally there, can you feel it? Quickly, woman, grab the shovel and dig it up.”
He had his gun trained on her, for even in his jubilance, he never lowered his guard. So she dug...and she dug. For what seemed like an eternity, my love put shovel to dirt and approached the last fragment.
As she reached down to grab it, her eyes met mine and a single tear rolled down her cheek. My heart sunk, but I did what needed to be done...I ran. My hope was that the Colonel would shift his attention to me, if only for a moment.
The sound, as always, was deafening. This time, it was joined by intense pain as I fell to the ground. The jungle suddenly felt very cold. In the distance, I heard the plop of something hitting the water, followed by the desperate and angry howls of a madman.
Another thunderous shot rang across the jungle and I knew my love had also paid the price for her courage. I turned my head, but could not see where she fell. The last thing I did see was the mad colonel, standing in the primitive canoe, paddling vigorously toward the center of the mist-covered river.
[/SBLOCK]
[SBLOCK]
The Heart of a Kiwi
The red teapot shook slightly in the woman's trembling hand, as she refilled the man's cup. Of course, the shaking was understandable, considering the circumstance in which she found herself. Heck, any right-minded person would be hard-pressed to keep calm in a situation such as this.
“That is a mighty fine teapot, Miss Hennessy,” was all the man said as he withdrew the cup and prepared to take a sip.
“Tha-thank you, Colonel. If you…”
The distinguished gentleman lowered the cup and interrupted her mid-syllable, “It would be a crying shame if you were to drop it and spill all that freshly brewed tea, now would it not?”
On the verge of breaking completely down, the lady managed to stutter a short reply, “Ye-yes, Co-colonel.”
A shrewd, almost cruel, smile formed behind the man's mustaches, “Do not forget, Miss Hennessy, that you are not the one which I require. Your presence here is only meant to assure compliance. I know that ideas stir in that mind of yours, and for all of our sakes, I would hope that those ideas were not ill-intentioned.”
Strands of graying hair fell across a once-proud face as the woman lowered her head. Without saying another word, she turned and walked into the other chamber where she hung the teapot over the dying embers. Sitting upon the cold, stone bed, she buried her face in her hands and sobbed.
The way he treated her was deplorable. After all, she was a woman of society, of class, of breeding. She did not deserve to be dragged across the world, forced to live in abominable conditions, and to serve his unsavory appetites.
Yet, because of me, this fate has befallen her and now we find ourselves sleeping in a chamber of some crumbling ruin while he plots his next move. It isn't easy being powerless to change one's situation, but for her, I must continue to do what is expected. Perhaps we will find our way out of this mess.
The curtain was pulled down and light poured into the ancient room as the man's booming voice shattered the silence, waking both of us in the process, “Get up, Miss Hennessy! I believe that our journey is almost at an end.”
As was the routine every time we traveled to a new locale, Miss Hennessy scampered about packing the gear, while the Colonel merely stood, watching the horizon in the direction he intended to travel. His hand, as always, caressed the gun at his side. A gentle reminder that the lady had no choice if she wished to survive this nightmare.
I watched as the ruins, with their faceless and headless statues, were left behind us. What lied before us? Only the madman with the gun knew the answer to that.
The journey took us, as had been the case for each prior leg, far from the place we last vacated. We traveled by mule, by train, by boat and by plane. I would have liked to have seen more along our trip, but aside from glimpses here and there, the black velvet which blanketed my quarters, kept me blinded for the majority of our time together. I only know that the trip took many days, but eventually, we found ourselves on the banks of some tropical river.
The Colonel lifted me from the cage and set me on the damp ground, where I shook the moisture from my feathers and looked up at the man. He seemed more excited than usual, as he stared impatiently at me. Perhaps we did near the end of our quest.
I then shifted my gaze to Miss Hennessy, the poor woman whose only crime was to end up with me, a most special kiwi bird, as a pet. I loved her very much and would do anything for her. I could not, however, free her from this situation. The sadness was evident behind tired and fearful eyes. Do not worry, my lady, it will all be over soon.
“Your pet need only to do its task once more and you both shall be set free, Miss Hennessy,” he smiled at the woman, but his smile offered no solace. “I am a man of my word, regardless of any other things you may believe me to be.”
The ground was welcoming and the temptation to run was great, but I knew that he'd kill us both if I did. I resigned myself to doing what needed to be done and began to probe the ground with my bill, as I had done so many times before.
Colonel Pembroke was right, again. The object he sought was nearby, its scent strong in my nostrils. I smelled something else, though. Something dark and ominous stirred. I knew what must be done.
“Ah ha! He has found it, again,” the Colonel almost danced as his excitement was palpable. He turned to the lady with a most wicked grin and exclaimed, “Miss Hennessy, we are finally there, can you feel it? Quickly, woman, grab the shovel and dig it up.”
He had his gun trained on her, for even in his jubilance, he never lowered his guard. So she dug...and she dug. For what seemed like an eternity, my love put shovel to dirt and approached the last fragment.
As she reached down to grab it, her eyes met mine and a single tear rolled down her cheek. My heart sunk, but I did what needed to be done...I ran. My hope was that the Colonel would shift his attention to me, if only for a moment.
The sound, as always, was deafening. This time, it was joined by intense pain as I fell to the ground. The jungle suddenly felt very cold. In the distance, I heard the plop of something hitting the water, followed by the desperate and angry howls of a madman.
Another thunderous shot rang across the jungle and I knew my love had also paid the price for her courage. I turned my head, but could not see where she fell. The last thing I did see was the mad colonel, standing in the primitive canoe, paddling vigorously toward the center of the mist-covered river.
[/SBLOCK]
Just as a note, I think my critiques sound a bit...critical. I guess that is somewhat in their nature. I am trying to be honest and hopefully in some ways constructive. I hope I do not offend, and you receive them in the spirit in which I wrote them. Hm, come to think of it maybe I should make them all scathing - that might be fun! Until I get lynched, of course...
Ooooh, and in another note to the judges, to speed my flaming demise....
It was the habit in the past, at least in the CDMs I was a part of, just to have the deadline directly linked to the timestamp from the post with the pictures. So basically if they were posted at 11:58am, you had until 11:58am 3 days later. As opposed to rounding or giving an approximate time or whatever happened today with pics posted at 8am but contest not starting until 10am.
/duck
It was the habit in the past, at least in the CDMs I was a part of, just to have the deadline directly linked to the timestamp from the post with the pictures. So basically if they were posted at 11:58am, you had until 11:58am 3 days later. As opposed to rounding or giving an approximate time or whatever happened today with pics posted at 8am but contest not starting until 10am.
/duck
FickleGM
Explorer
I appreciate critical.
[SBLOCK]I hadn't written in a few years and I fell into bad habits. After reading your critique, I realized this. Of course, I didn't get back into CDM as much to win, as to force myself to write. If I don't make it past Round 1, I will at least have put my foot back in the pool, which I hope will get me back into writing and improving.[/SBLOCK]
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