Here's the thing. I've been listening for over 30 years. I started playing in 1980 when I was 9. I've asked hundreds of people to try out roleplaying. Some did, some didn't. I've probably GMed with well over a hundred female players, played with even more. Many of which I am or was very close to.
And I listen. My priority above anything else, including the game's success is for the social experience to be pleasant for everyone. Sure, I'll dig adhering to genre, puzzle solving, system tweaking etc... but really, I always say RPGs are games of imagination, they're a very personal experience for the participant and I want everyone to be comfortable with that. At the end of every session I GM there's 10 minutes allocated to discussions and feedback on what took place. I also insist that my door is always open privately if something's wrong.
I did tons of fine tuning thanks to that. Sometimes people didn't like the system used, or wanted to try a new genre. Sometimes they thought they didn't get enough game time in the session. Sometimes people just didn't like the roleplaying experience and thought it was boring.
But I can't remember one single instance of someone telling me: "I enjoy roleplaying, but the depiction in the books are really getting in the way of my fun".
Gender issues we had usually came up when consulting for new campaigns. Some genres and settings were too tricky and voted off before trying, or right after chargen, or after a session or two (Off the top of my head, Western and very recently, a 16th century japanese campaign. Our group had concerns that these games might not be terribly fun in the long run.
Hey wait a second!
I have never claimed that there is absolutely no sexism in gaming. There's sexism everywhere and that most certainly includes gaming. I've read about it in books, I've seen it happen in sessions I was a part of, mostly during teenage years.
What I did say is that I do not subscribe to the notion that this hobby as a whole is actively not serving "a kind". Especially not in this day and age where there are so many awesome products to choose from in the market. It's an extremely empowering hobby anyway.
It's a tough one to answer because in my own limited point of view, based on anecdotal evidence, I haven't felt this was perceived very often. Not by me, not by gamers I know, male or female.
You have to remember my original objection had to do with how the industry supposedly chases away scores of women because of how they are depicted. And how this apparently explains why gamers as a demographic don't match with the general population.
On the industry side, I guess it's about more and more designers appealing to these people who like roleplaying as a concept, but are turned off, feel left out or downright antagonized. IME, people in general (there are exceptions) like to play a character of the same gender. So right off the bat, you need RPGs that allows the opportunity to create main female characters that are interesting and can do interesting things if you want to attract female gamers.
Interestingly enough, IME among my players, that has surprisingly very little to do with sexualization and a lot to do with kickass-o-meter. They want to feel empowered, have an impact at the game level and in the story. How they conceptualize their characters however, varies tremendously.