Yes, how can people not see that everyone picking their highest stat to constantly roll it in order to get an arbitrary number of successes before an arbitrary number of failures for every problem they encounter (which can't be solved by violence) is the epitome of role playing.
I don't think you've read the rules on skill challenges.
What the PHB says to players is:
Your DM sets the stage for a skill challenge by describing the obstacle you face and giving you some idea of the options you have in the encounter. Then you describe your actions and make checks until you either successfully complete the challenge or fail. (p 259)
It’s up to you to think of ways you can use your skills to meet the challenges you face. (p 179)
And to GMs, the DMG says:
Begin by describing the situation and defining the challenge. (p 74)
More so than perhaps any other kind of encounter, a skill challenge is defined by its context in an adventure… Define the goal of the challenge and what obstacles the characters face to accomplish that goal… You describe the environment, listen to the players’ responses, let them make their skill checks, and narrate the results. (pp 72, 73)
When a player’s turn comes up in a skill challenge, let that player’s character use any skill the player wants. As long as the player or you can come up with a way to let this secondary skill play a part in the challenge, go for it… In skill challenges, players will come up with uses for skills that you didn’t expect to play a role. Try not to say no… This encourages players to think about the challenge in more depth… However, it’s particularly important to make sure these checks are grounded in actions that make sense in the adventure and the situation… you should ask what exactly the character might be doing … Don’t say no too often, but don’t say yes if it doesn’t make sense in the context of the challenge. (DMG pp 73, 75)
I think this is all pretty straightforward. (The advice for setting DCs, on the other hand, remains wonky even through the Essentials books.) The GM describes a situation, the players describe how their PCs tackle it, checks are made based on that description, and the GM adjudicates the outcomes of those checks. This changes the situation. The players then engage the new situation via their PCs, until the challenge either is overcome or overcomes, and the situation is thereby resolved (at X successes or 3 failures).
There is nothing here about "picking the highest stat". Nor is there anything arbitrary about X successes before 3 failures. That is a pacing mechanic, as discussed in
this thread.
Here's how skill challenges end up working:
1. DM announces skill challenge.
2. Players look at character sheets for highest skill bonus and ask DM if they can use their skill.
3. DM says "yes" or "no," which largely determines success or failure.
4. Players pray they don't roll X success before Y failures.
5. Skill challenge over.
That's not my experience, and seems to have little to do with what the rules describe (as quoted above).
