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Thread: More Gamer Drama
Wednesday, 10th October, 2012, 05:56 PM #1
Grandfather of Assassins (Lvl 19)
More Gamer Drama
Can't we all be friends?
Last weekend, one of my gamers invited a friend (I'll refer to him as Rex here) to come by and observe our nWoD game, as Rex was trying to learn the sytem and had some questions about how to run a game. I'd already been made aware of this, and it was fine by me.
However, it turned out that Rex was not only known by my other gamers, but he'd been the center of a fallout between one of my female gamers (I'll call her Stephanie here) and her best friend/former gamer in my group. Stephanie's boyfriend was also in my group as well.
When Stephanie found out that Rex was coming to the game, she was afraid he was coming to deliberately ruin her night and, in tears, refused to come to the game while he was present.
I didn't find this out until the irate boyfriend showed and asked to speak with Rex outside. Next thing I know, I'm hearing shouting and threats from outside. I'm on the verge of going on outside to try and possibly break this up, when Rex comes back in, apoligizes and hastily leaves.
I then get an expination from Stephanie's boyfriend of what's going on, and that he's going back to try and calm Stephanie down and coax her back to the game. At this point I'm flustered, embarrassed and hoping Stephanie will be okay. Stephanies boyfriend leaves, but I later get a text they won't make the game that night, she's still too upset.
And the more I think about it, the madder I'm getting how the whole thing was handled. I really feel like Stephanie overreacted, and I surely don't appreciate Stephanie's boyfriend coming by just to make a scene, and then threaten a guest at MY house and leaving my other gaming friend embarrassed for bringing someone by. I beleive I'm going to be having a discussion at the very least with Stephanie's boyfriend on our next gaming night about the whole situation.
Had any similar game group issues that have left an impression on ya?"If it has stats, we can kill it." - T.G. Jackson, intro to 3rd ed Hackmaster
Wednesday, 10th October, 2012, 06:09 PM #2
Acolyte (Lvl 2)
Sure, it is your house and you get final say, but it's better to head off any potential drama issues before they can tear the group apart.*burble burble*
Wednesday, 10th October, 2012, 08:13 PM #3
Grandfather of Assassins (Lvl 19)
I'm not the kind to be confrontational, unfortunately the only time I can contact the individuals involved is at our once-every-two-week game. I'll do it as an aside, and I don't beleive it will be much more than a "next time let me know its going to be an issue and give me a chance to resolve it first." More than anything, I think my friend who brought Rex should get an apology - he was an unsuspecting victim in all this.
After the fact though, it does burn me how things turned. I've got a low Wis, so sometimes it takes a bit for realization to truly sink in."If it has stats, we can kill it." - T.G. Jackson, intro to 3rd ed Hackmaster
Wednesday, 10th October, 2012, 06:12 PM #4
The Great Druid (Lvl 17)
I would have that discussion out side of game night. I would approach it to ask what the heck was going on as it really seems like you don't have a full understanding of the situation. I'd give the boyfriend the benefit of the doubt and let him explain his actions before telling him what he did was out of line.
I've never been in a situation remotely close to that. If we do have someone over to a game session it gets mentioned to everyone in the group ahead of time as a courtesy. If someone has a complaint they have plenty of time to speak up.
Wednesday, 10th October, 2012, 09:14 PM #5
Superhero (Lvl 15)
The closest we ever got to a "situation" was a married couple issue. This guy joined our group. Lets call him John, cuz that was his name. He was alright, but at times annoying. Still in the acceptable gamer range of reasonability. Then his wife wanted to join. Lets call her Judy, cuz that was her name. I think she was there to keep an eye on John for some reason (I could not fathom why - not that I liked her, but she was the "better catch" if you get my meaning. Maybe she just did not want him having fun without her). She pretty much read her smut book and would roll dice when requested. The combo of the two just blew the group's chemistry apart over time.
After awhile, we basically closed down the group and reopened the next week without them. Met a few gamers years later that did the same thing to the John and Judy show.
(these days, I would have just told them to get the f' out - you're not wanted anymore. But that was before the "only game with people you like" rule got put in place plus it was harder to find gamers back then).
Wednesday, 10th October, 2012, 10:16 PM #6
The Great Druid (Lvl 17)
Thursday, 11th October, 2012, 08:11 AM #7
A 1e title so awesome it's not in the book (Lvl 21)
Thursday, 11th October, 2012, 10:54 AM #8
A game I was in died a couple weeks ago. A loud mouthed jerk, LMJ, is the culprit. He was vouched for by one person and we figured their judgment was good enough. We had met the jerk for a character creation session before we started playing so he hadn't earned the jerk title yet. Initially, everything was fine, but in our first or 2nd session we had a stand off between essentially 2 factions within the party; 2 people who didn't want us roughing up and intimidating an NPC vs. the LMJ, myself and maybe others who thought it was ridiculous for them to claim we were perverting the course of justice and then there was everybody who sat quietly.
We got past that. Unfortunately, LMJ was derisive of the actions and words of other players. He wouldn't say "damn you are stupid" rather it would be "oh god you're supposed to be our diplomat?" Being one of people mentioned in these verbal slips of the tongue, I figured at first I'd ignore them and grow a thicker skin. No big deal.
Unfortunately, his next personality trait got under my skin. He is a know it all, even though he didn't know it all. Never tell a history major something he personally knows is wrong and has a personal attachment to.
After that I noticed he'd use the volume and confidence in his voice to attempt to pronounce the answer to rules questions. "How much damage does a great axe do?" "6 dice!" Flip through the book, oh look at that, it does 7 dice. I can see this may have been an attempt to have the game continue without a pause to look rules up, but I like getting the rules right.
This is all very well and good and nothing really horrible, (except maybe an email between LMJ and the uphold the law guy). Things got complicated when the LMJ became roommates with some of the other players. Suddenly those of us who were not fans of the LMJ felt like we'd be creating drama between the roommates if we made waves.
It finally fell apart when the party went to talk to the sheriff about a prisoner, and the LMJ attacked and killed guards in front of the sheriff. I suspect that if the up hold the law guy had been present the game would have died from a battle between party members, but he was on a trip. I tried using a spell to stop the battle, but it failed, one roommate helped the butcher kill people, while the other roommate sat across from me clearly unable to decide how to act. The game ended after we escaped and there was a brief, "what were you thinking?" from the DM, but clearly nobody was thinking.
Upon reflection I realized this was the best point at which to exit the game and told the DM. As it turned out, more things were going on than I was aware of and so the game died with a whimper.
Thursday, 11th October, 2012, 12:07 PM #9
Superhero (Lvl 15)
Thursday, 11th October, 2012, 01:08 AM #10
Lama (Lvl 13)
sorry to hear you had to go through that...nothing like that where there was a big confrontation has happened in my group.
One guy in my old group had played a few sessions in my new campaign, then had to drop out when his wife sprung a surprise divorce on him...
Another time was I had a couple that had been together for 10-12 years, and had recently gotten married, and then started gaming in my group (right after the guy above had to drop out.) A few months into the marriage, the couple separated, and she dropped out. However, a few months later, they reconciled and got back together and she joined the group again. (and, in case you were wondering, they recently celebrated their 5th anniversary and seem to be doing just fine now.)Valar Morghulis
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