New Monsters - Need Critique

Roguedeus

First Post
I have started making 4Ed monsters - after quite a long hiatus from RPG's in general - for an upcoming gaming group and would really appreciate any constructive critiques you can offer.

I know how many people feel about 4Ed in general, but it's what I need to work with so I could really use the once, or twice, overs. :)

Updated Versions (after feedback):
Silt Leech
Silt Slug
Silt Slug Brooder



Thanks.

Edit: Initial post had the wrong versions... Swapped them with the 2nd revisions. (superscript 2)
 

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Storminator

First Post
Those are some crazy monsters. :D

I think your minion has a little too much book keeping for a minion (recharge and tracking total damage they've inflicted), and some of your powers and traits could use some streamlining, but I like 'em.

PS
 

Standard design notes:

1: Minions shouldn't be complex. You need a lot of them so they need to play fast. It also can't trigger its Meiosis unless you mean cumulative damage.
2: Standard monsters work on the basis of having a standard at will power.

For the Leech:
Role: Artillery.

Trait: Dehydrating body Aura 1
Effect: When the Silt Leech is hit all non-silt creatures in the aura take 5 damage.

Static Leap (At Will)
Range: 10
Attack: +7 vs Reflex (artillery gives the bonus to hit)
Damage: 5 electricity and the Leech teleports adjacent to the target.
Miss: If the leech rolled an odd number it teleports half way to the target. If it rolled an even number it teleports in a straight line three squares past.

Meiosis: Immediate Interrupt (At Will)
Trigger: An enemy misses the leech with a melee attack.
Effect: Every living non-silt creature in the Dehydrating Body aura takes five damage, and if the leech damages two or more targets it fissions. Place two leeches in squares adjacent to the leech then remove the leech from play.

Nothing to remember or track other than the interrupt trigger. Fewer rolls and it does almost the same job.
 

Roguedeus

First Post
Those are some crazy monsters. :D

I think your minion has a little too much book keeping for a minion (recharge and tracking total damage they've inflicted), and some of your powers and traits could use some streamlining, but I like 'em.

PS


You know, I was thinking the same thing about the minion. I will tweak it and re-post for your opinion. :)

Can you give me an idea of how you suggest streamlining an ability? They used to be much more complex, in the first version. :p This is the second. I am not sure how much more streamlined I can make it without losing the essence of the creature.

Thanks.
 

Roguedeus

First Post
Standard design notes:

1: Minions shouldn't be complex. You need a lot of them so they need to play fast. It also can't trigger its Meiosis unless you mean cumulative damage.
2: Standard monsters work on the basis of having a standard at will power.

For the Leech:
Role: Artillery.

Trait: Dehydrating body Aura 1
Effect: When the Silt Leech is hit all non-silt creatures in the aura take 5 damage.

Static Leap (At Will)
Range: 10
Attack: +7 vs Reflex (artillery gives the bonus to hit)
Damage: 5 electricity and the Leech teleports adjacent to the target.
Miss: If the leech rolled an odd number it teleports half way to the target. If it rolled an even number it teleports in a straight line three squares past.

Meiosis: Immediate Interrupt (At Will)
Trigger: An enemy misses the leech with a melee attack.
Effect: Every living non-silt creature in the Dehydrating Body aura takes five damage, and if the leech damages two or more targets it fissions. Place two leeches in squares adjacent to the leech then remove the leech from play.

Nothing to remember or track other than the interrupt trigger. Fewer rolls and it does almost the same job.

Thanks. That helps a lot. I will figure your critique into the tweak.
 

the Jester

Legend
Others have already hit on some of this, but as one of ENWorld's big monster-building types, here's my critique.

Silt leech:

Should have a role- “minion skirmishder” is a good choice.
Non-AC defenses are a little high.
Minion damage should always be static- for a level 2, it should come in at about 5 damage.
You absolutely should not have a recharge power on a minion- it is simply too much to track in a typical battle involving minions. I'd change the static leap power to more like this:

Static Leap (standard; at will)
Attack: Ranged 10 (one creature); +5 vs. Reflex.
Hit: 5 damage, and the leech shifts to a square adjacent to the target.
Miss: The leech shifts to a square 3 squares past the target.

Hydrostatic Mitosis is an awful power. For one thing, you have to track the damage dealt by each of the leeches- and as minions, there could be a TON of them. I would drop it entirely, but if you must have some version of it, drop the tracking damage thing. Also, you should probably specify whether the newly created leech counts for xp in the encounter (I'd say yes).

Silt slug:

HP should come out to 38 (3x8 for role + 14 for con score).
Static boost- This is problematic imho, especially because of the stacking clause.
No basic attack, huh? I think he needs one, or else his damage output will be crappy.
On the other hand, static flash's damage is too high IMHO. 2d6+2 looks about right.
Statis push- your “Special” note makes me think you missed the rule about entering hazardous terrain. You get a save to fall prone instead. I'd drop the special line you have entirely.
Static Arc- this power is way more confusing and complex than it needs to be. All this “straight line” this and “no forks” that stuff should go. It needs to be useful, not fancy. The automatic hit seems weird- why? Also, I strongly recommend against setting damage based on the number of targets hit- 4e pretty much demands that you stick to the numbers by level for the game to come out well-balanced. Finally, sliding in a random direction just seems weird- let the silt slug control the slide.

Brooder:


My quick in-my-head calculation says she should have 100 hps (6x6 for role + 14 for Con)x2.
Leech Brood- do these count as part of the encounter's xp?
Static Sling- Even as artillery, an attack vs. Reflex should be at about lvl + 5 at highest. I would leave out the “and effected by the silt leech's dehydrating body” line since the leech acts on its own next.
Static Stun- Stun (save ends) powers at heroic level should pretty nearly ALWAYS be encounter powers IMHO.
Static Vacuum- should SLIDE leeches into the brooder, not shift them.
Static Overload- so a fully loaded brooder does 14d10+14 damage when it dies? Jesus. Leave off the extra damage for the leeches or change it to like +1 per leech or something. That average of 91 damage may well TPK most lvl 5 parties.
 

Storminator

First Post
You know, I was thinking the same thing about the minion. I will tweak it and re-post for your opinion. :)

Can you give me an idea of how you suggest streamlining an ability? They used to be much more complex, in the first version. :p This is the second. I am not sure how much more streamlined I can make it without losing the essence of the creature.

Thanks.

I would if I were any good at that sort of thing. Neonchameleon and The Jester are giving better advice here.

PS
 

Roguedeus

First Post
First Up: Silt Leech.

Explanation:
- I am keeping it a minion for disposability, as there will be lots of them when Slugs and Brooders are involved.
- Reworked Static Leap as a slide, not a shift, as once airborne its an easy target for opportunity attacks. I also figure the inaccuracy tracking isn't necessary in this new form.
- I lowered the non AC defenses to just below avg, as suggested.
- I removed the HP tracking from Hydrostatic Mitosis and replaced it with a save check.

More Feedback Appreciated!

Edit: Changed the Dehydrating Body to Minor Dehydrating Body.
Edit2: Changed slide to a move! :p
 

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the Jester

Legend
First Up: Silt Leech.

- Reworked Static Leap as a slide, not a shift, as once airborne its an easy target for opportunity attacks. I also figure the inaccuracy tracking isn't necessary in this new form.

If you want it to trigger OAs, just make it a normal move as part of the same attack action. Slides, pushes and pulls never trigger OAs. :)
 


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