Do you think it is reasonable not to tip your server?

Descartes · Nov 16, 2013

I just got home from work and saw an article about a lesbian server who was not only stiffed on a tab but the person wrote a note saying the only reason was because they don't approve of her lifestyle. To me that would be like saying my being caucasian was a conscious choice.

Not only was it insulting but in the restaurant I work in that table of haters would have cost me money out of pocket. I typically have to pay out 4% of my total sales, I have to pay the credit card fee, and I only get paid $2.13/hr. So for this person's $87.43 bill I would have had to tip out $3.50 and pay anywhere from $.05-.07 for the credit card they used. That means it would have cost me $1.42 or more to be insulted by this moron.

So following this person's logic it would be totally acceptable for me to go to a tire store get four new tires put on my car and then tell the manager, "I'll pay for the tires but I don't like guys with handlebar mustaches like the guy who just put on my tires. Those things have been outdated since Gangs of New York times. So don't pay him for the last hour and make him pay all the other employees 1-2% of my total bill out of pocket."

So what are your thoughts on tipping servers?

Homicidal_Squirrel · Nov 16, 2013

I tip, and generally tip well, unless I get terrible service. I also think servers are paid way too low. It sucks having to rely on tips to make a living. I'd rather servers get paid a decent wage, even if that means raising the price of a meal at a restaurant. I mean, for the most part, I'm tossing in extra money for a tip that could have gone in to the hourly wage of the employee.

Deset Gled · Nov 16, 2013

I think that American standards for tipping have become atrocious. It's disingenuous of any establishment to post prices that are significantly below what people are expected to actually pay, and it's cruel to force workers to essentially beg customers for their wages. However, I also recognize that the root cause of this is not the fault of the workers, the employers, or the tippers; it's the inevitable outcome of allowing the minimum tipped wage to fall so low that it's practically non-existent. But that's a political rant that doesn't belong on this board. Since I recognize that my distaste with the practice of tipping is political rather than personal, I also recognize that denying someone a majority of their wage by refusing them a tip would be punishing someone with absolutely no control over the situation, and would do nothing to help change the way things are.

So I tip, and I tip reasonably well. Over the last few years, I generally find that the amount I tip is based more on my behavior than a server's. Anyone who waits on my family with two kids under 4 is going to get a better percentage than the guy who waits on me when I'm traveling by myself for work, regardless of the quality of the meal. I also make an effort to tip in cash, even if I pay with the meal by credit card. And any time I'm comped something, half of the price of the item is automatically added to the tip.

Since I recognize that tips are a majority of the workers wage, I strongly look down upon those that don't tip because they have a religious or political disagreement with a server. It doesn't matter if you have a personal beef with someone; they provided a service and you're expected to pay for it. Furthermore, I think that anyone who has plans on denying a tip to a server should be required to state so up front. If you think that's acceptable behavior, be honest about it, and stand up for yourself. Hiding behind a passive aggressive note shows that you know it's wrong, and that you're ashamed of yourself.

sabrinathecat · Nov 16, 2013

Well, I finished an 8-month stint working in a restaurant (some may remember my demented rants about the way the employees were treated by management), so I have a small understanding of that side. (I say small, because unlike the other employees, that job was not my sole income, nor was I trying to live on the meager paychecks.)
I have to say, there is one thing worse than the no-tipper: the person who stole the tip jar one afternoon. For one hour, there's only one person who was working the counter, delivering food, and bussing tables. During two minutes when I walked out the door at the end of my shift, but before I got to the car, the person still on shift called to find out if I'd seen anyone. (Naturally, the security cameras in the store don't work). Instead of the average $2-3 per hour, that day it was $.5. That person didn't rob the restaurant. That person robbed the 13 employees of the restaurant of that day.

Now, I have had poor service once or twice. I tipped accordingly. Only twice have I left the offending 1-penny tip.
I generally follow the $15% rule, or $3, whichever is greater. Yes, that means that for a $10 meal, the server still gets $3.
The notion that employers can assume that employees get tips, and can factor that in as part of their minimum wage, I find... Do I even need to say it? Offensive is the mildest thing that comes to mind.

There was a great sign in one place I walked into once. "If you are offended by being served by someone with a handicap, please leave. Their condition is not contagious, but your attitude might be."
If you don't like the lifestyle or whatnot of some business, don't support the business. Shop elsewhere. Buy some other product. Do I shop at Walmart? No. That's my decision. To shop there, and then say, "Well, I don't approve of the practice of ______" is nearly the definition of hypocrisy. (There's a great video on youtube by Darkmatter2525 about hypocrisy, BTW)

Dannyalcatraz · Nov 16, 2013

My standard tip is 20%. If you go above & beyond, I tip more. If you- not the kitchen- mess things up somewhat, I might drop to 15%. If the kitchen messes up, I talk to the manager about it and make sure you still get the tip you earned.

I did, however, leave a 1¢ tip once. The waitstaff had pissed me off royally, and I wanted them to understand perfectly well that I hadn't forgotten the tip.

It was Easter, and I had invited 3 of my friends to brunch on my treat. We got the last reservation available, so naturally, we were the last to finish. When we went to the dessert table, they bussed our table completely and took the women's purses over to the cashier.

It was a smallish buffet hall- the desserts were maybe 15' from where we were seated, and the cashier another 15' away on the other side of our table. IOW, we were in plain sight the entire time.

We hadn't dawdled over our meal, either. I called the manager over, and he explained that the brunch was over. I explained to him that if he expected us to leave at X o'clock, he shouldn't have seated us just 45 minutes before that point, then demanded utensils, drinks, napkins and the ladies' purses so that we could finish our meal in peace. I got it.

When I paid, I left the aforementioned penny tip. And I haven't been back to a brunch at that location since.

Enforcer · Nov 16, 2013

I also work in restaurants in a FOH (front-of-house) capacity. In the US, you should tip, as that's how we live. If you can't afford the tip you can't afford to eat out. If anyone disagrees (again, in an American context where the server makes minimum wage or often less than minimum wage), feel free to apply for a job FOH and put your money where your mouth is.

That said, I like that some restaurants are bucking the trend and imposing a flat service charge and then pay FOH an hourly rate well-above minimum wage. My current employer does that and it works out well (especially with overtime). It's not as much as I made in a normal tipping environment, but it's nice to be able to budget with a predictable income and it's also nice not having to worry about the table of stereotypically poor tippers. Tipping causes lots of anxiety among restaurant employees, especially in fine-dining restaurants where the server often has to tip out to a back waiter, food runners, bartenders, glass- and silver-polishers, baristas, somms, etc.

What's funny is that there are some who've complained about restaurants who've made this paradigm shift as they no longer have the ability to punish their server for perceived poor service. If going out to eat is part of one's desire to have a power-trip, that's the wrong reason to go out... And anyways, if you don't like the service that's when you ask for the manager. Most of us care about what we do and want the customer to be happy, if for no other reason than it's more pleasant for the server to deal with happy tables than unhappy ones during a 10-14 hrs. shift.

Joker · Nov 16, 2013

Is that legal in all states? Paying less than the minimum because you might get tips. I mean, they wouldn't be called tips if all they do is make up the difference between sub-minimum and minimum wage, would they?

Bedrockgames · Nov 16, 2013

My wife is a waitress and I waited tables and delivered pizzas all through college (continuing for several years after as well) so I always leave a tip. People count of them to pay the bills.

Morrus · Nov 16, 2013

It's something I struggle to remember the customs for when I visit the US. Restaurants not so much - I just never know who else I'm supposed to tip!

Joker · Nov 16, 2013

Morrus said:
It's something I struggle to remember the customs for when I visit the US. Restaurants not so much - I just never know who else I'm supposed to tip!

I feel the same way. The Dutch aren't known for being tippers so when they eat at something like a highway diner stateside they'll think the food is really cheap and leave without tipping. These are generalizations of course. There are many exceptions. However, many tourists may not know the 15% tipping "rule" in the States.

Here if we tip, it's usually a flat rate as opposed to a percentage. One or two euros is the norm. Or we round off to the nearest whatever.

Knowing now that in the States some restaurants pay such abysmally low wages, I'll tip more when I visit.