The one night stand culture

Janx said:

The Repression comment is similar to the "slut shaming" comment when I mentioned I disapprove of affairs or promiscuity on the other thread.

I don't see where me not thinking excessive promiscuity is good for society becomes a rampant attack on somebody else's lifestyle preference.

I have a right to not like carrots, just as you have a right to enjoy them. Just because I don't like them, doesn't mean I'm putting on a bed sheet and burning cabbages on people's front lawns to scare them away from veggies.

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The problem is that you did not demonstrate it is bad for society. In that case it seems more like you making a moral judgement on what some people do, and that they shouldn't do it, than you saying you do not like something.

Do I have to justify that in general? That sexual repression is a cornerstone of many cultures (and definitely in modern America)?

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Wha? America is sexually repressed/repressive? Do you watch TV or movies?

You can literally go anywhere in this country and hook up with anyone for sex at any time. So long as nothing is forced, and you aren't directly paying for it (a law which I agree is odd), sex is totally unrepressed here. All with no general cultural repercussions.

I don't know how anyone can claim America, in general, is a sexually repressive culture.

Bullgrit

bone_naga said:

As long as they are all consenting adults, who cares? I don't look at it any different than someone being straight/gay/bi. As long as it doesn't hurt anyone, do whatever works for you.

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And that's as far as my objection to the practice goes. I ain't starting Janxes Against You Getting Some or other sillyness.

Go have fun. I don't think it's good for you or consequence free, but what do I know?

Bullgrit said:

Wha? America is sexually repressed/repressive? Do you watch TV or movies?

You can literally go anywhere in this country and hook up with anyone for sex at any time. So long as nothing is forced, and you aren't directly paying for it (a law which I agree is odd), sex is totally unrepressed here. All with no general cultural repercussions.

I don't know how anyone can claim America, in general, is a sexually repressive culture.

Bullgrit

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Indeed, the growing concern is that children are becoming sexual too early now. Because it is freaking everywhere.

And there are issues. Kids are getting sex offender status for sharing naughty selfies. Or actually getting addicted to porn. or having unrealistic body image problems and sex expectations because of what they see in internet porn. Or degradation of women mindset because of what they get accustomed to in porn.

We are not living in the 1800s where nobody had sex or acknowledged that it happened.

Bullgrit said:

Wha? America is sexually repressed/repressive? Do you watch TV or movies?

You can literally go anywhere in this country and hook up with anyone for sex at any time. So long as nothing is forced, and you aren't directly paying for it (a law which I agree is odd), sex is totally unrepressed here. All with no general cultural repercussions.

I don't know how anyone can claim America, in general, is a sexually repressive culture.

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Not having lived there, I can't say - but that's how your country is viewed by most of the rest of the Western world, for right or for wrong. Partly perhaps because your country was founded by self-identified puritans. But I'm not familiar with what you are or aren't exposed to on a daily basis, so you'd know better than me. It's probably just one of those random stereotypes people get saddled with which don't reflect reality at all; happens to us all!

Morrus said:

Not having lived there, I can't say - but that's how your country is viewed by most of the rest of the Western world, for right or for wrong. Partly perhaps because your country was founded by self-identified puritans. But I'm not familiar with what you are or aren't exposed to on a daily basis, so you'd know better than me. It's probably just one of those random stereotypes people get saddled with which don't reflect reality at all; happens to us all!

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well, the rest of the world is ignorant, so it probably shouldn't surprise us.

After all, we brought them BayWatch, and the internet so they could watch porn.

Bullgrit said:

I don't know how anyone can claim America, in general, is a sexually repressive culture.

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Well, let's see. Prostitution is illegal. Our movie and TV rating systems are kinder to mass slaughter than they are to the sight of the human breast. States have laws on the books that officially prohibit oral sex, sodomy, and a variety of other common acts. Pornography and sex work are ridiculed. Homophobia is rampant. In fact, nontraditional (as it were) relationships of all sorts (interracial, interfaith, etc.) are targets for bias and discrimination.

There are actually people advocating for "abstinence-only" sexual education, which is sort of like "starvation only" nutrition education. There was a movement against the mandatory HPV vaccination, partially on account that it supposedly encouraged promiscuity (which apparently is bad). The same battles have been had over selling the morning after pill over the counter. Debates over health insurance coverage for contraception (because apparently that's debatable). There's the whole "slut shaming" phenomenon. Ludicrously restrictive dress codes. Abstinence pledges.

All of which belies the basic truth: people are taught from an early age that sex is bad, and to be ashamed of their own bodies and their own desires.

If someone wants to point out other places or time periods that have been more repressive by comparison, there certainly are some. But America is definitely, definitely repressive.

*I seem to have ninja'd [MENTION=85939]bone_naga[/MENTION] who made most of the same points only a minute after I posted, so I assume that it was coincidental to some extent.

Bullgrit said:

Wha? America is sexually repressed/repressive? Do you watch TV or movies?

You can literally go anywhere in this country and hook up with anyone for sex at any time. So long as nothing is forced, and you aren't directly paying for it (a law which I agree is odd), sex is totally unrepressed here. All with no general cultural repercussions.

I don't know how anyone can claim America, in general, is a sexually repressive culture.

Bullgrit

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I disagree. You can show gratuitous violence on a PG-13, but let one nipple slip and it's automatically rated R. People that worked in the adult industry (legally or illegally) have trouble with employment once they leave unless they successfully bury that aspect of their past.

And have you seen some of the laws on the books? Many laws against things like sodomy were only overturned by court rulings, not by legislative votes. As individuals a great many people have slept around, but as a society we look down on such things. Consensual sex between minors is still against the law in many states. Statutory rape is sometimes taken to the extreme where an 18 year-old guy is charged for having sex with his girlfriend that was days away from being 18.

And what are popular sayings in rape cases? "Did you see the way she dressed, she definitely had it coming".

Prostitution is illegal (unless you are paying to video tape it, then it's porn and that's somehow ok). Strip clubs vary from full nudity to must be in at least a bikini depending on how prudish the state is. And I don't know of any where the customer is allowed to touch the dancer.

Parents and religious groups still fight teaching sex ed in schools despite numerous studies showing the benefits of doing so. Teens that become pregnant are often shamed out of school rather than being supported so that they can actually have a future. Children are taught to be ashamed of themselves, to the point where most people will use words like "privates" "hoo-hoo" or whatever rather than use the actual names of those dirty dirty parts of your body.

There are places in the country where adult stores are driven out of business and can only exist as a sort of underground deal where you have to know where to go and speak the magic code word.

Big cities tend to be a bit better, but as you get into suburban and rural areas, there is most definitely a prudish anti-sex attitude in many areas of the country.

We aren't as repressive as Saudi Arabia, but I'd hardly call America sexually enlightened.

Janx said:

Indeed, the growing concern is that children are becoming sexual too early now. Because it is freaking everywhere.

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Well, that's kind of unrealistic. It makes sense that pre-pubertal children are not ready to engage in sexual activity, but for much of human history, marriages between young teenagers have been the norm. Once the reproductive system is biologically ready, there's not much that can stop people from using it in one venue or another.

And there are issues. Kids are getting sex offender status for sharing naughty selfies. Or actually getting addicted to porn. or having unrealistic body image problems and sex expectations because of what they see in internet porn. Or degradation of women mindset because of what they get accustomed to in porn.

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Which is more legitimate. But I would argue that there isn't much evidence of that harm actually occurring, and even if it is true, I think it reflects more that the pornographic material is filling a void left by minimal sex ed and cultural taboos. If we talked about realistic expectations more, the unrealistic stuff wouldn't take hold.

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Janx said:

well, the rest of the world is ignorant, so it probably shouldn't surprise us.

After all, we brought them BayWatch, and the internet so they could watch porn.

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You, uh, haven't spent much time in France, Italy, or The Netherlands, have you?

Baywatch. My goodness.