Final Kickstarter page review request

Morrus · Apr 6, 2014

I'd really appreciate any last comments folks might have. I've been working on this for 7 months, and launch day is tomorrow (Monday). I can't make large or sweeping changes now, or alter prices, or make new videos, or anything, but I can still make last minute minor changes if anyone notices I've screwed something up (though it's not a "try your hardest to find something negative to say" competition - positive reinforcement is nice sometimes too!)

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/enworld/1948088233?token=44ed24a2

That's the preview link. It'll be active until tomorrow. Then I hit launch and go hide for a while.

Kinak · Apr 6, 2014

Congrats on getting this rolling. It looks nice, particularly the first preview image with the color spreads. Very snazzy.

The thing I'd change is the second paragraph "In What's O.L.D. Is N.E.W. you'll..." It's a good paragraph on its own, but it duplicates a lot of the material from the header above it, which is a bit jarring. Giving different examples of O.L.D. and N.E.W. in that paragraph would make it flow a bit better.

Cheers!
Kinak

MatthewJHanson · Apr 6, 2014

I'd recommend trimming down the reward text. When I am looking for a reward, I want to see quickly and clearly what the reward is. For example, if you really want to explain why you have an early bird special, you can move it to the body.

MarkB · Apr 6, 2014

MatthewJHanson said:
I'd recommend trimming down the reward text. When I am looking for a reward, I want to see quickly and clearly what the reward is. For example, if you really want to explain why you have an early bird special, you can move it to the body.

Yeah, there's also a lot of duplication there. You could save some wall-of-text factor by starting the pargagraph with "Everything in the <name of smaller pledge>, plus these extra benefits."

And since the one-book-only pledges basically duplicate each other, maybe make those a single pledge, with the requirement that you must specify whether you want O.L.D. or N.E.W. when you submit your shipping details.

Morrus · Apr 6, 2014

MarkB said:
And since the one-book-only pledges basically duplicate each other, maybe make those a single pledge, with the requirement that you must specify whether you want O.L.D. or N.E.W. when you submit your shipping details.

Sadly, that's not possible, as I need to know at the time of pledging which it is, not later. The format of each book is tracked separately based on units ordered and links in to the stretch goals.

MichaelSomething · Apr 6, 2014

Euros? Are you expecting most of your supporters to be from the EU?

American donors don't like to deal with weird foreign money!

Morrus · Apr 6, 2014

MichaelSomething said:
Euros? Are you expecting most of your supporters to be from the EU?

American donors don't like to deal with weird foreign money!

Those are not Euros. And I don't have any choice about the currency; I don't have an American bank account. If folks choose not to back it because of that, I'll have to accept that.

LucasC · Apr 6, 2014

Page looked pretty good.

I'd agree that the award texts were a bit wordy.

Lastly, one of the things I really liked about the layout of the recently successful Mutant Chronicle Kickstarter was the backer levels stated things like the parts bolded below. Made it real easy to pick between pledges.

ELECTRIC BOOGALOO! Finished O.L.D. and N.E.W. PDFs + all PDFs unlocked through stretch goals + access to O.L.D. and N.E.W. playtest documents. This is the pledge for those that want everything digitally.

I know your short on time. Here's some options if its brevity you want.

O.L.D. PDF ONLY! Finished O.L.D. PDF + unlocked O.L.D. stretch goal PDFs + access to O.L.D. and N.E.W. playtest documents.
N.E.W. PDF ONLY! Finished N.E.W. PDF + unlocked N.E.W. stretch goal PDFs + access to O.L.D. and N.E.W. playtest documents.
ELECTRIC BOOGALOO! Finished O.L.D. and N.E.W. PDFs + all PDFs unlocked through stretch goals + access to O.L.D. and N.E.W. playtest documents. This is the pledge for those that want everything digitally.
O.L.D. SCHOOL! Everything in the ELECTRIC BOOGALOO pledge and the finished O.L.D. softcover. Plus you get all stretch goal upgrades to the O.L.D. book for free, including upgrading to hard cover! Backers outside the US add £20 for shipping please.
N.E.W. WAVE! Everything in the ELECTRIC BOOGALOO pledge and the finished N.E.W. softcover. Plus you get all stretch goal upgrades to the N.E.W. book for free, including upgrading to hard cover! Backers outside the US add £20 for shipping please.
THE F.U.L.L PACKAGE! Everything in the ELECTRIC BOOGALOO plus both O.L.D. and N.E.W. in softcover format and you get all stretch goal upgrades to the both books for free, including upgrading to hard cover! Backers outside the US add £40 for shipping please.

trespassers · Apr 6, 2014

Good tone, very informative, a "crunchy" Kickstarter that has a friendly and enthusiastic voice.

... that almost sounded like a wine description! Now I'm thirsty.

MarkB · Apr 7, 2014

[MENTION=6762606]LucasC[/MENTION], that would be "Backers outside the US and UK" for the shipping charges, right?

That aside, those are some nice, short, straightforward pledges.

Final Kickstarter page review request

Morrus

Well, that was fun

Kinak

First Post

MatthewJHanson

Registered Ninja

MarkB

Legend

Morrus

Well, that was fun

MichaelSomething

Legend

Morrus

Well, that was fun

LucasC

First Post

trespassers

First Post

MarkB

Legend

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