100 Reasons why Dunedain (and men) prefer Elven Maidens

R

Rashak Mani

First Post

• Jan 1, 2003

• #1

Beutiful Eowyn sighs for Aragorn... and he doesnt even give her a second glance. Why ? Why do Men prefer Elven chicks ?

1 - Your Elven wife will never look old

2 - She will never complain about feeling old

3 - They get babies only every 20-40 years if at all...

4 - Her perception of time is very different... if you leave for a week long trip she will barely notice your absence...

5- She will require much less attention due to this time perception too...

6 - You will almost surely never be a widower !

7 - They have hundreds of year of experience in all manners of elven kama sutra...

Continue...

 

Last edited: Jan 1, 2003

log in or register to remove this ad

Eridanis

Bard 7/Mod (ret) 10/Mgr 3

• Jan 1, 2003

• #2

8 - Having a wife who is smarter and wiser than you is a turn-on

9 - Pointy Ears! Say no more...

10 - Their garden apartment really IS a garden

11 - Dowry? What would powerful elven lords have as a dowry?

 

Mark

CreativeMountainGames.com

• Jan 1, 2003

• #3

12. If they don't have big parts, they can be rewritten to appear larger...

 

Andrew D. Gable

First Post

• Jan 1, 2003

• #4

I can think of some DnD reasons why - the whole absence of body hair thing probably helps a liddle . But I dunno if Tolkien said that.

 

L

Larry Fitz

First Post

• Jan 2, 2003

• #5

14. High Cheekbones.

15. Access to Rings of Power untouched by Sauron.

16. Can do really special things with water.

17. Uncle runs a cruise ship line out of the Grey Havens.

18. After hundreds of years with Elven men, they are so grateful to meet straight guys.

 

Corinth

First Post

• Jan 2, 2003

• #6

All Elf women get their clothes from Fredrick's of Rivendell.

 

jdavis

First Post

• Jan 2, 2003

• #7

20. When you get tired of them you can stick them on a boat and send them overseas, never to be seen again.

21. Don't have to worry about fat elven chicks.

22. Free Aerosmith concert tickets.

 

R

Rashak Mani

First Post

• Jan 2, 2003

• #8

jdavis said:

20. When you get tired of them you can stick them on a boat and send them overseas, never to be seen again.

Click to expand...

HAHAHA !!! This is the best by far ! If she actually goes is another question thou....

 

J

JRRNeiklot

First Post

• Jan 2, 2003

• #9

6 - You will almost surely never be a widower !


Um, this is a plus?

 

jdavis

First Post

• Jan 2, 2003

• #10

Rashak Mani said:

HAHAHA !!! This is the best by far ! If she actually goes is another question thou....

Click to expand...

Just tell her she won a cruise but you have to work that weekend cleaning out a goblin stronghold.