Players get mad at me (DM) when i enjoy other hobbies that are in my life. please help.

Tim Hubick · Jun 8, 2014

so i just wanted to start off with, I'm a DM and I DM a group of 3 players. currently we're in a campaign.
I currently have a strong love for D&D, but i also have a very strong love for making tanks called Terrariums, Vivariums, and Paludariums.
about a year ago, i started a pretty big project to build myself a 120gal vivarium tank. it was extensive and the only time i had to work on it was on weekends. well every sunday evening is when we play D&D.
players were getting mad at me for skipping D&D to work on my hobby. I work evenings till 8pm and after work i get pretty exhausted and i just wanna come home to relax.
while i was working on that 120gal viv, it tooks 3 months to complete, and alot of money. well in that time frame, i cancelled D&D to work on it. thus the players werent happy with me.

Now thats all done and we're gaming again. but now i have another Tank that i'm ready to build and now the players are worried and angry that i'm gonna take time off again to work on it.
I do and I dont.
how can i sort through this situation? how can i balance the two?

Nagol · Jun 8, 2014

Gaming is a hobby. Because it isn't a solo activity, it is also an obligation. The typical social expectation is if you agree to play, you will endeavor to participate. Being DM comes with additional obligation since the game can continue sans one or more players, but the DM is vital.

Deciding to drop one hobby activity for another when you are integral for others can be a problem. I'd suggest you take a hard look at which activity you want to take priority. If it isn't DMing, suggest one of the other players step up to the table and run a game. That way if you do end up missing a block of time it has less impact of the rest of the people.

Elf Witch · Jun 8, 2014

Tim Hubick said:
so i just wanted to start off with, I'm a DM and I DM a group of 3 players. currently we're in a campaign.
I currently have a strong love for D&D, but i also have a very strong love for making tanks called Terrariums, Vivariums, and Paludariums.
about a year ago, i started a pretty big project to build myself a 120gal vivarium tank. it was extensive and the only time i had to work on it was on weekends. well every sunday evening is when we play D&D.
players were getting mad at me for skipping D&D to work on my hobby. I work evenings till 8pm and after work i get pretty exhausted and i just wanna come home to relax.
while i was working on that 120gal viv, it tooks 3 months to complete, and alot of money. well in that time frame, i cancelled D&D to work on it. thus the players werent happy with me.

Now thats all done and we're gaming again. but now i have another Tank that i'm ready to build and now the players are worried and angry that i'm gonna take time off again to work on it.
I do and I dont.
how can i sort through this situation? how can i balance the two?

I can understand why your players are getting angry and a little worried. Most of us gamers are reasonable when it comers to real life interfering with games. But when it is another hobby always taking precedence you start to wonder just how much commitment to the game the person has. I have played with players who have so many hobbies that come first and that does not work with our group we play every other week and if you can't make that schedule on a regular basis then you just are not a good fit for the group.

My suggestion is to play every other week so that you can work on the tank on the weeks you don't play. That way you should be able to balance both.

Hand of Evil · Jun 8, 2014

Just tell them you have to have down time and work out a schedule, game every other week or once a month.

Personally, I am surprised they do not see the benefits of your hobby in the game terms, I mean, your hobby easily can be related to building locations and encounters on the tabletop.

Tim Hubick · Jun 9, 2014

I agree with the every other weekend to play and to balance it all out. i'll propose the idea to them of playing every 2nd weekend, so i can alternate back and forth from gaming and Live Tank building.

as for tying the two together? yeah i dont think i can put a grid system into one of my tanks lol
i also have a Huge 10" Tarantula, maybe i can gather the players up and put miniatures inside the tank to battle the mighty "Ecstasy" lol

cheers guys

thanx

Elf Witch · Jun 9, 2014

Tim Hubick said:
I agree with the every other weekend to play and to balance it all out. i'll propose the idea to them of playing every 2nd weekend, so i can alternate back and forth from gaming and Live Tank building.

as for tying the two together? yeah i dont think i can put a grid system into one of my tanks lol
i also have a Huge 10" Tarantula, maybe i can gather the players up and put miniatures inside the tank to battle the mighty "Ecstasy" lol

cheers guys thanx

I had a bearded dragon. One day I was sorting my miniatures out and I just decided to put him on the table he was like a ancient dragon kicking butt and taking names as he knocked them all over the place and stood on them. What I can I am easily entertained. :lol:

sabrinathecat · Jun 9, 2014

It's YOUR TIME.
Are you bailing at the last minute? Like Game is supposed to start at 4 and you cancel at 3:30? If they have more than a day's notice, they have not excuse to bitch.
Now, it does seem like you are in danger or breaking the gaming group. But you know what? One of them can run a game too. Just a thought. Unless the game for some reason absolutely has to be held at your place...

Scorpio616 · Jun 9, 2014

sabrinathecat said:
If they have more than a day's notice, they have not excuse to bitch.

A Day? A single day is nowhere adequate notice for a non emergency. Each person's time is valuable and for a lot of people, they have to juggle work and family obligations a week or more in advance to get even a single day clear.

Homicidal_Squirrel · Jun 9, 2014

Tim Hubick said:
so i just wanted to start off with, I'm a DM and I DM a group of 3 players. currently we're in a campaign.
I currently have a strong love for D&D, but i also have a very strong love for making tanks called Terrariums, Vivariums, and Paludariums.
about a year ago, i started a pretty big project to build myself a 120gal vivarium tank. it was extensive and the only time i had to work on it was on weekends. well every sunday evening is when we play D&D.
players were getting mad at me for skipping D&D to work on my hobby. I work evenings till 8pm and after work i get pretty exhausted and i just wanna come home to relax.
while i was working on that 120gal viv, it tooks 3 months to complete, and alot of money. well in that time frame, i cancelled D&D to work on it. thus the players werent happy with me.

Now thats all done and we're gaming again. but now i have another Tank that i'm ready to build and now the players are worried and angry that i'm gonna take time off again to work on it.
I do and I dont.
how can i sort through this situation? how can i balance the two?

Can't you schedule your time better? It just sounds like you have terrible time management skills. If you can't figure out ho to manage your time better, just quit playing D&D while you build the tank. Building the tanks is obviously more important to you than playing D&D with your three friends.

Dannyalcatraz · Jun 9, 2014

...or build tanks any other day except D&D night.

Players get mad at me (DM) when i enjoy other hobbies that are in my life. please help.

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