CERAMIC D.M. the final judgement is in!
- Thread starter alsih2o
- Start date
Drawmack
First Post
Sniktch said:
Thanks for the compliment, Drawmack, but I'm just as convinced it will be you heading on. Either way, it was fun, mate, and I think we should both be pleased with our work
The whole downfall of man thing in yours is great, especially with the tree sloths becoming the next reigning species. That was an ingenious piece of work.
Although I did note that we both went the same way with the sketch, a wall for war.
All in all I think that you worked the images into the story better then I.
However I just wish they would post the results.
alsih2o
First Post
Drawmack said:
well, nifft has now been to the site without responding to emails to 2 email addresses and and a private emssage, so he has been replaced, you all have my sincere apologies and i promise judgements soon
edit-just got this from nifft: > D'oh! NYU/CNS lost network connectivity -- I haven't
> been able to do anything on the Internet during the
> day for two days.
so he wasn't just blowing us off, hope things are better nifft :0
Last edited:
alsih2o
First Post
sniktch vs drawmack- judgement
ALSIH2O
sniktch: i am not one to enjoy furries, but i liked this tale.
i was a little diturbed at first by the jarring effect of "ambling" and
"nervous" in the same sentence but this was the only language that really
grated on me.
the use of the first picture wasn't the strongest and i
don't think the 2nd was given the best treatment either (it is not the
literary image i would have chosen to illustrate for the story) but the
use of the sloth and the handling of the wall really struck me. the sloth
as a mentor was a surprise twist and it worked very well, throwing off my
guard and keeping me looking for what other twists the author might throw
at me.
as a story i found it entertaining, but the use of two of the pics as
illustrations in a book in the story was bothersome. (we had this in the
last competition too.)
drawmack: Dramack presents us with a slight twist on a familiar tale, the
young man earning the right ot go forth and fight for his cause.
the use of language is neither poor nor bold, but i was slightly disturbed by
"I intone as she teasingly stands up and saunters away in her teasing fashion."
but it was the only truly rough point.
As for his handling of ingredients- i enjoyed his description of the archway
and passage mush more than i enjoyed sniktchs. his description of the frequent
use of the area leaving it looking abandoned really struck a chord in me. his
of the stuffed giant sloth was nice, and i would have liked to have seen some
more come of it. his description of the disorganized, geased fightng is what
really swings it though, i can really see this hapening,and the duality of the
people in his setting pursuing this activity just as the people in the real
picture is very entertaining. The siege notes add an interesting touch to the
main character by lettign us see what he thinks his future path holds, letting
see his confidence and dreams.
both authors can be proud, no stinkers here, but i must award the round to
drawmack.
MALDUR-
Sniktch, The image of a old and wise sloth, teaching the folly of man is
nice, very nice.
Drawmack: Nice story but it seems you tried to write a scenario in a story.
Maybe you should have written a scenario (you are allowed to do so in
ceramic). There are some gems in there: troubled meditations or meditations
filled with images of elven maidens. Also the doorway as a gauge of
who/what may or may not enter is very imaginative.
My vote goes to Sniktch. Best of luck in the next round. Drawmack, better
luck next time.
ARWINK-
Sniktch
An interesting story, that plays with a classic sci-fi concept. It approaches
the pictures playfully, but where I felt it was let down was ultimately the
tone of the piece. It didn't really grab me straight off, taking on overtones
of overt preaching on the nature of man than exploring the interaction between
mans warlike nature and the philosophy of the giant sloth's that come to
replace us as a species. All in all, I find myself more intrigued by the idea
rather than the story. More focus on the sloths and their world
Drawmack
Drawmack's entry plunges the reader straight into a situation and leaves them
chasing along to pick up the clues about what's happening. It instantly raises
questions that I wanted answered, which is what carries me into the piece. Who
are the characters? What is their relationship? For every question the
opening answers, there's another to take it's place. What are the traditions
of this monk-like elven paladin order? This game of tag he plays with the
reader disappears towards the middle of the story, where exposition is handed
over in large chunks rather than used to tease, but the initial burst of
interest carries things through.
All in all, it's the strength of Drawmack's opening that gives him the edge in
this. Both stories produce things that I'm a total sucker for as a reader
(interesting and unknown cultures), but Drawmack's story fills me with greater
eagerness to learn his characters culture, how they fit into it, and what their
story is. I give this round to Drawmack
so, 2 to 1, winner is drawmack, congratulations
ALSIH2O
sniktch: i am not one to enjoy furries, but i liked this tale.
i was a little diturbed at first by the jarring effect of "ambling" and
"nervous" in the same sentence but this was the only language that really
grated on me.
the use of the first picture wasn't the strongest and i
don't think the 2nd was given the best treatment either (it is not the
literary image i would have chosen to illustrate for the story) but the
use of the sloth and the handling of the wall really struck me. the sloth
as a mentor was a surprise twist and it worked very well, throwing off my
guard and keeping me looking for what other twists the author might throw
at me.
as a story i found it entertaining, but the use of two of the pics as
illustrations in a book in the story was bothersome. (we had this in the
last competition too.)
drawmack: Dramack presents us with a slight twist on a familiar tale, the
young man earning the right ot go forth and fight for his cause.
the use of language is neither poor nor bold, but i was slightly disturbed by
"I intone as she teasingly stands up and saunters away in her teasing fashion."
but it was the only truly rough point.
As for his handling of ingredients- i enjoyed his description of the archway
and passage mush more than i enjoyed sniktchs. his description of the frequent
use of the area leaving it looking abandoned really struck a chord in me. his
of the stuffed giant sloth was nice, and i would have liked to have seen some
more come of it. his description of the disorganized, geased fightng is what
really swings it though, i can really see this hapening,and the duality of the
people in his setting pursuing this activity just as the people in the real
picture is very entertaining. The siege notes add an interesting touch to the
main character by lettign us see what he thinks his future path holds, letting
see his confidence and dreams.
both authors can be proud, no stinkers here, but i must award the round to
drawmack.
MALDUR-
Sniktch, The image of a old and wise sloth, teaching the folly of man is
nice, very nice.
Drawmack: Nice story but it seems you tried to write a scenario in a story.
Maybe you should have written a scenario (you are allowed to do so in
ceramic). There are some gems in there: troubled meditations or meditations
filled with images of elven maidens
. Also the doorway as a gauge ofwho/what may or may not enter is very imaginative.
My vote goes to Sniktch. Best of luck in the next round. Drawmack, better
luck next time.
ARWINK-
Sniktch
An interesting story, that plays with a classic sci-fi concept. It approaches
the pictures playfully, but where I felt it was let down was ultimately the
tone of the piece. It didn't really grab me straight off, taking on overtones
of overt preaching on the nature of man than exploring the interaction between
mans warlike nature and the philosophy of the giant sloth's that come to
replace us as a species. All in all, I find myself more intrigued by the idea
rather than the story. More focus on the sloths and their world
Drawmack
Drawmack's entry plunges the reader straight into a situation and leaves them
chasing along to pick up the clues about what's happening. It instantly raises
questions that I wanted answered, which is what carries me into the piece. Who
are the characters? What is their relationship? For every question the
opening answers, there's another to take it's place. What are the traditions
of this monk-like elven paladin order? This game of tag he plays with the
reader disappears towards the middle of the story, where exposition is handed
over in large chunks rather than used to tease, but the initial burst of
interest carries things through.
All in all, it's the strength of Drawmack's opening that gives him the edge in
this. Both stories produce things that I'm a total sucker for as a reader
(interesting and unknown cultures), but Drawmack's story fills me with greater
eagerness to learn his characters culture, how they fit into it, and what their
story is. I give this round to Drawmack
so, 2 to 1, winner is drawmack, congratulations
Sniktch
First Post
Congratulations, Drawmack! Good luck in thje rest of the contest - I'll be waiting in the wings for the next competition. I knew that going away from the classic genre would be a risk, looks like it didn't pan out this time.
One thing with your evaluation, Clay:
I think you misread this. I used one of the pics as an illustration, as it obviously was. However, the second picture is actually the scene that is played out in the main character's imagination while listening to the Old One speak.
One thing with your evaluation, Clay:
I think you misread this. I used one of the pics as an illustration, as it obviously was. However, the second picture is actually the scene that is played out in the main character's imagination while listening to the Old One speak.
alsih2o
First Post
megamania vs mirthcard-judgement!
ALSIH2O
megamania vs mirthcard-
mirthcard: our current champion, sets his adventuring party off on a combat
light adventure.
while his adventure seems sound and indeed entertaining for most parties it
seems that his use of ingredients isn't as strong as it could have been. i
enjoy the satyrs and their plot, lyre of building is neat but i don't really
feel the weight of the illustrations in the story.
megamania: gives us a story of brother betraying brother.
the story is good, but what particularly struck me was the interesting use
of the ingredients. a magic harp to bypass a siren and the use the use of the real
life picture of the mask as a mask both entertained me greatly.
the basket/window pic was what i thought would be tough, and while both contestants
used it, neither used it a way that blew me away. it did seem that it fit well into mega's
story better tho.
i have to go with megamania on this one. well done on both pieces, but mega takes
my vote
MALDUR-
Mega, put in a fast entry, A story with a delightful twist. Great stuff! The
prison didn't really provoke the arena's pictures image though.
Mirthcard send in an adventure. Lovely filled with happiness and
roleplaying. Nice touch to make it a low/no violence adventure. Only the
first picture didn't really fit, it sounded more of an oversight (but I
might be wrong)
Tough call but I have to go with Mirthcard on this one! Sorry mega, the
satyr's appeal just was stronger. What I did find interesting is that both
choose a Grecian style for their entry.
ARWINK-
Mirthcard
Mirthcard's entry was a sound adventure, with some great resonance with Greek
myths. I'm usually tough on any idea that starts with "as you're traveling
along, you see something at the side of the road." but I thought this held up
pretty well under scrutiny. Maybe it's just the fact I like adventures that
revolve around role-playing and the fey. The villains are interesting, and
it makes good use of a magic item that doesn't see anywhere near enough use as
an active adventure component. I wasn't a hundred percent convinced with some
of the use of pictures 1 and 4, but the concept as a whole more than carry's
any blurry vision in this respect.
Megamania
One thing I truly appreciated with Megamania's piece was the subtle way it
handled the ingredients. They were simply elements of the story rather than
descriptions of the pictures included as part of the scenery. What detracted
slightly from the piece was.well.the relative absence of scenery. One of the
cardinal rules of storytelling is Show, don't Tell, but megamania's story
introduces raw plot elements without ever dwelling on them. While the piece
has an interesting plot, and I'd enjoy twisting it into an adventure, it didn't
really grab my attention at any point. The way it handled the pictures was
great, but it was always telling me what was going on and the links between
them, not showing me events as they unfolded.
Both entries are innovative and creative in the use of their images, and both
have strong plot ideas. However, the round goes to Mirthcard due to format
alone. Megamania's entry adapted as an adventure would be great, but falls
short against Mirthcard as a story.
winner- mirthcard in a 2 to 1 vote
ALSIH2O
megamania vs mirthcard-
mirthcard: our current champion, sets his adventuring party off on a combat
light adventure.
while his adventure seems sound and indeed entertaining for most parties it
seems that his use of ingredients isn't as strong as it could have been. i
enjoy the satyrs and their plot, lyre of building is neat but i don't really
feel the weight of the illustrations in the story.
megamania: gives us a story of brother betraying brother.
the story is good, but what particularly struck me was the interesting use
of the ingredients. a magic harp to bypass a siren and the use the use of the real
life picture of the mask as a mask both entertained me greatly.
the basket/window pic was what i thought would be tough, and while both contestants
used it, neither used it a way that blew me away. it did seem that it fit well into mega's
story better tho.
i have to go with megamania on this one. well done on both pieces, but mega takes
my vote
MALDUR-
Mega, put in a fast entry, A story with a delightful twist. Great stuff! The
prison didn't really provoke the arena's pictures image though.
Mirthcard send in an adventure. Lovely filled with happiness and
roleplaying. Nice touch to make it a low/no violence adventure. Only the
first picture didn't really fit, it sounded more of an oversight (but I
might be wrong)
Tough call but I have to go with Mirthcard on this one! Sorry mega, the
satyr's appeal just was stronger. What I did find interesting is that both
choose a Grecian style for their entry.
ARWINK-
Mirthcard
Mirthcard's entry was a sound adventure, with some great resonance with Greek
myths. I'm usually tough on any idea that starts with "as you're traveling
along, you see something at the side of the road." but I thought this held up
pretty well under scrutiny. Maybe it's just the fact I like adventures that
revolve around role-playing and the fey
. The villains are interesting, and it makes good use of a magic item that doesn't see anywhere near enough use as
an active adventure component. I wasn't a hundred percent convinced with some
of the use of pictures 1 and 4, but the concept as a whole more than carry's
any blurry vision in this respect.
Megamania
One thing I truly appreciated with Megamania's piece was the subtle way it
handled the ingredients. They were simply elements of the story rather than
descriptions of the pictures included as part of the scenery. What detracted
slightly from the piece was.well.the relative absence of scenery. One of the
cardinal rules of storytelling is Show, don't Tell, but megamania's story
introduces raw plot elements without ever dwelling on them. While the piece
has an interesting plot, and I'd enjoy twisting it into an adventure, it didn't
really grab my attention at any point. The way it handled the pictures was
great, but it was always telling me what was going on and the links between
them, not showing me events as they unfolded.
Both entries are innovative and creative in the use of their images, and both
have strong plot ideas. However, the round goes to Mirthcard due to format
alone. Megamania's entry adapted as an adventure would be great, but falls
short against Mirthcard as a story.
winner- mirthcard in a 2 to 1 vote
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