Round 2
Lucy Brown’s Diary
January…something (not really sure what day it is)
Hours of sleep in the last week: 20ish
Photo shoots: 3
Quantity of Diet Coke it’s taken to keep me awake long enough to write this: lost count after 6
V. exhausted at this point, but must keep up with my writing-posterity and all. Just looked over photos from last shoot and emailed the OK-especially fond of the one in the white dress. (bonus pic) Carlo has really outdone himself this time. Good thing I look entirely nondescript without the hair and makeup. Can’t have myself being recognized while on Big Secret Mission-but the money sure comes in handy when I have to hop a plane in a hurry. My fellow first-class passengers are snoring away. I should try to get some sleep before we land in India.
2 days later (still not sure exactly what day it is)
Slightly more rested now. Found Vijay in his usual dusty corner of the marketplace doing his Holy-Man-meditating thing to impress the tourists.(pic 3) Had to give the Secret Handshake to his assistant and go wait for Vijay in the usual place-fabulous old castle, not livable, not terribly structurally sound, but pretty to look at and good place for Secret Meetings. Waited almost till sunset, but oh, What a gorgeous view! The way the sunlight comes in through the windows is absolutely breathtaking.(pic 4) I was almost sorry when he finally did show up.
It seems he got word, through one of his contacts, that some crackpot modern artist decided it would be terribly creative to summon and hold a Giant Spider as part of one of his pieces. The story goes that this guy made it big and bought a house out in the Hamptons with access to some underground levels he didn’t know about. He found them by mistake and while most of the place was filled with dust and worthless junk, there did happen to be one high-level spell book in good condition. All I have to do is crash a party he’s giving at his house, take his nice new book away, and send one large arachnid back where it came from. So here I am, on yet another plane-this time headed for the US.
January 19
Crashing the party was not a problem. Who doesn’t want one more supermodel showing up at their big bash? It was a great house-vaulted ceilings, stone floors, lots of big rooms where he can display his art. Sometimes it was hard to tell what was art and what was furniture. The first thing I noticed when I walked in that night was that hanging right there, in plain sight in the foyer was a nice little framed drawing showing the area as it looked about a hundred years ago AND including the huge network of underground chambers. (pic 2) Hopefully he’s the only person living there who has any idea what’s under this little millionaire’s playground, but I guess we’ll just have to keep an eye on the area. It’s about time I bought a house. And that would make it easier to get down there and explore those chambers. Remove anything that really shouldn’t be there. Seal up all the chambers properly. But I digress.
So, as I was saying, “Lucia Bruno” (my professional name-my agent’s idea) crashed the party, had a little champagne and caviar, and scoped out the place. The artist himself was so flattered by my presence that he took me on a very thorough tour of the house. As promised, his latest work “I Dare You to Sit in This Chair”-featuring an amazingly lifelike giant spider-was on display. (pic 1) No one took him up on it, though a few brave souls did wander over for a closer look. I took the liberty, when I conveniently found myself alone for a moment, of opening a window in one of the upstairs bedrooms for later use (why do things the hard way if you don’t have to).
It was almost dawn before the party broke up and I was able to make use of said window. The book was sitting on a pedestal in the library, masquerading as yet another piece of modern art. I wrapped it in a cloth and stuck it in my pack. Then I had a chat with his unwilling houseguest. It’s all very well for someone like me to know the secret incantations required to summon a beast from another plane (if the occasion warrants it)-I’ve had the proper training. But now it was time to show Mr. Smarty Artist that this kind of knowledge is not to be used lightly.
I found him in his bedroom asleep (and, thankfully, alone) and shook his shoulder to wake him up. He was a bit confused, kept asking who I was and what I was doing in his house, as I led him downstairs to face his latest work of art. With a few words, I released her and she gracefully climbed down from the wall and delicately made her eight-legged way to stand face to, er, face with her would-be captor. Then I explained to him that his guest was quite disappointed with her accommodations and demanded either an apology or a free meal (in form of him) and that, as she hadn’t eaten since he brought her here he’d better decide fast. Have you ever seen a man grovel to a Giant Spider before? Now there’s a sight I won’t soon forget. After he passed out I sent her home. She was v. grateful and asked me to call if I ever needed anything.
Finally! Mission completed, sleep achieved, and hey- I figured out what day it is!
) and I had to take the whole day's writing for this one. 
