Anyone here know anything about Macs?

You might have a hardware or a software problem.
I get the feeling this is what it is.

When holding down the keys to reset PRAM, you should see the screen flash between grey and black as long as you hold down the keys. When the screen flashes to grey, you should also hear the startup chime. This is handled by the EFI before the OS kicks in at all, so it should bypass any software issues.

If you aren't hearing this chime, it is likely a hardware issue. Try plugging headphones into the headphone jack and resetting the PRAM just in case you hear some sound coming out. I doubt you will. (The startup chime is always routed through the internal speakers on recent machines whether or not you have a headphone plugged in, which is rather annoying.)

If this doesn't give you any sound, I'm confident you have a hardware problem. Contact your local Genius Bar, Apple support, or local Apple Authorized Service Provider.
Yeah, the screen flashes, but there is no sound. I read somewhere that it might be the logic board's batter or something. Come to think of it, I had the logic board burn out about this time last year. Looks like I might have to backup all my files and put this Mac under my car's tire, so I can accidentally run it over a few times and have it replaced.
 

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Ryujin

Legend
It's at times like this, that I like to have a Win7PE boot key handy to test with. One with audio drivers would be a big help right now.
 



With an Apple product? The most useful tool in my bag.

So... I think you're totally correct. Here is why: I had just finished backing up my files, and I found my hammer. I was going to take it outside, and hammer it a bit before running it over with my car to make sure it was damaged enough to be too expensive to fix. I turned it on again, to make sure I had everything I needed before it was hammer time, and the sound suddenly started working. The internal speakers have magically returned. Maybe the Mac sensed it was in danger and decided it was best to cooperate.

Magic speakers.png
 

Ryujin

Legend
Usually a large flat-bladed screwdriver is used to demonstrate to the device that you are familiar with the short circuit method of torture/repair, but a hammer is invaluable for extremely recalcitrant devices like Apple products.
 





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