Prepping for the hardcover compilation - errors, edits, and suggestions?

I'm trying to thread my time to get as efficient and prompt a release of the final adventure and compilation hardcover as possible, and that means that if we're going to get any new art or maps, I need to commission it soon. So I'm taking a break from writing adventure 13 to see if gamers on the messageboard have any suggestions for how to make the re-release of adventures 6 through 12 better?

So, if you were to pick five to ten maps or illustrations that you think would have been cool in those adventures, what would you choose? For instance, adventure 12 had a lot of bizarre encounters in The Gyre, but most of them could be avoided, so is a map critical? In a perfect world we'd have a map for every encounter, or at least the ones that would occur in a specific location. Would you want an illo of Srasama assaulting Alais Primos (one of my regrets, but doing it justice would have eaten up a lot of our art budget), or do you wish you had portraits for each member of the Unseen Court (even though, well, read their name).

Additionally, are there any problems you've noticed? Confusing passages? Bad game design choices, or plot holes?

I've got a list of ones I've already compiled over the past few months (which I'll post below), and I intend to reread all the adventures to check for other errors before we go to layout, but if you find more, please let me know. Please don't go searching for typos unless you already know one. I'm looking more for general edits and revisions to make. Proofreading will come later.

REVISIONS I ALREADY INTEND TO MAKE
There are spoilers here, of course.

ACT TWO
[sblock]Make sure long-term plans are clear. Like, Pemberton ultimately doesn’t screw with the party unless they kill his daughter.

In 4e, make sure insubstantial ghost council folks have “radiant attacks bypass insubstantial.”

Pay attention to making sure PC special abilities are useful, especially things from the prestige classes/paragon paths.

Adventure Six, Revelations from the Mouth of a Madman
[sblock]For 4e, paired immovable rods add “Critical: +1d6 damage per plus.”

In PF, dragon worm is an infestation, not a disease.

Berans speak predominantly Common, but the next most common language is Giant, then Orc, then Goblin.

Enchanted goblin pickle, to help out Kickstarter guy with the goblin gunslinger.

Mention the existence of El Extraño, but do not show him. Perhaps have the party aided by a kobold if they’re totally confused.

Pg 73 tweak mentions of later adventures.

Add a mention of the city of Shantre. http://www.enworld.org/forum/showth...be-spoilers)&p=6776771&viewfull=1#post6776771
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Adventure Seven, Schism
[sblock]Make VoR’s plans consistent with #9 in the “The Voice of Rot’s Plans” sidebar. He needs the PCs as spies in 7 (and listens via the absurdist web), then in 9 is angry that they thwarted his plans with the fey but doesn’t see a reason to need to destroy them. Take out the bit about him ‘following the party,’ though.

Wanted Man > Methods of Investigation, “… but the party should still have to spend time retracing….”

Catherine Romana is not a ‘human wizard.’ She’s a warlock.
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Adventure Eight, Diaspora
[sblock]Make some mention about the Godhand Vitus Sigismundi, whom the party rescued in 7 and then I promptly forgot.

The Grand Librarium is now run by Arch Secula Natalia Degaspare (who shows up in 11).

The Bullet Slice martial scientist power needs revision; it has lingering stuff from adventure 7’s power.

In Countdown to Collapse, remove the mention of using the wayfarer lantern to assassinate the king, because that isn’t actually revealed. Also they do not learn that the main ritual is on Axis Island.

Skyseer vision of the Gyre. I’m missing an article for “the constellation.”

Nicodemus’s statblock – Arcane Lock. Remove the errant “until the end of its next turn.”

Clarify that Kasvarina does not go with them when they get teleported away.

Lauryn’s statblock, triggered power mentions Dale.

Key Memory – Lands Forgotten. Bad use of but … but. “As usual, the Malice Lands are home to all manner of misshapen monsters, but a catastrophically powerful one lurks in the ruins of Pala. But before the party can reach what little remains of the city, they pass near the Clavel Ranch.” Fix to and … but.

Shortly thereafter “spread the philosopher” should be philosophy. Also typo with destroy.

“There’s no more time by idle” should be “for idle.”

Pg. 41, tweak mention of events in adventure 12.

Make sure the details of Ashima-Shimtu's blood magic line up with adventure 11.

Get rid of the 'no die roll higher than 30' in Methia thing. People didn't like it.

Pg. 74 “get up an effect” should be and effect
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Adventure Nine, The Last Starry Sky
[sblock]Rock’s bio ‘Risursee’ should be ‘Risur see’.

Pg 73, slight change about adventure 12 in the Onward to Act Three part.

Fey appendix, have some tactics guidelines for the Hedgehog Court.

In the Rites of Rulership (also adv 9) the example for King Dukain says "(1HD 20)", which is confusing.

Below that, in Monarch of the Masses, the placement of the word “however” makes it unclear if the King always has "fast healing 10", or if that only happens after falling to 0 HP.

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ACT THREE
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Adventure Ten, Godmind
[sblock]Consistent thoughtform mechanics. Ability check + level = DC. (I've actually already forgotten what I meant when I made this note.)

Ash Wolf’s “Critical Hits” ability refers to him as the Father of Thunder.

Also, all the fey titans list an XP value, which is out of sync with most of ZG statblocks (which leave it out, since this campaign doesn’t do XP).

Pg 66, possibly elsewhere, references in tables to 'Reida' as plane of time when it should be Illocus.
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Adventure Eleven, Gorged on Ruins
[sblock]his “constant - fire shield (warm)” isn’t reflected in his Defensive Abilities line
- why can’t he be tripped? that’s usually reserved for creatures without legs (like snakes); for being a heavy quadruped, he should merely get a bonus vs trip
- what does being Swallowed Whole do to you? Under Devouring Essence, it makes it sound like it’s pretty bad news, but only the benefits are listed, no mention of ongoing fire / negative energy / crushing damage
- Recovery isn’t listed in the Defensive Abilities line (fey titans who have a similar ability list theirs)
- if Esurientes is under the effects of multiple applicable effects, can he chose which ones he is trying to Recover from in a given round, or is it first-in-first-out?
- Impure Flame says to divide out all fire damage into fire+unholy. Some attacks already do this (Death Throes, Pyroclastic Vomit).
- Pyroclastic Vomit seems very weak compared to his other attacks, so I’m wondering if damage is a typo
- there an entry in his SQ line called “superheated” that’s not defined anywhere
- “dragon senses” is redundant and just causes an unnecessary lookup if you spell out his blindness and dark vision
- I didn’t actually check any math, I was just reading up on cool abilities, because that monster is just so freaking cool. I’m sad that my party is the type that will fight tooth and nail to keep Vitus from jumping into the volcano (or throwing in Cippiano), and thus the chances of facing him are rather low. I also further confess that I was comparing him to VoR and seeing who would win in a grudge match.

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Adventure Twelve, The Grinding Gears of Heaven
[sblock]Speaking of the Voice of Rot…
- he lists XP, which is nonstandard for ZG
- as a snake, he should be immune to trip
- if Rackus does his “I’ve rigged that thing to explode” trick … what does that do? I only see the rules for ramming, not the damage for blowing up
- I feel like “Recovery” should be broken into two line items. The first half (remake your saves) is distinct from the second half (rejuvenate HP and flee), so it’s easy to miss it, buried below.
- Timeless seems like a really weird metagame rules construct. I can’t imagine how I’m going to organically reveal these rules, nor justify them, outside of just stating “guys, here’s this combat’s rules trick”. Maybe some hints on making this a bit less fourth-wall-y.
- in the Titanic rules description, it says that he’s not big enough to easily move over “areas of forest or settlements”, which he’s not likely to encounter. Instead of those examples, can you mention a crashed airship, which is more likely in this scenario?
- does Ever Moving provoke AoOs?
- what does the SQ entry of “fey link” refer to?
- he has the 3/day ability to cast temporary resurrection, which has a casting time of 10 minutes. Should this be quickened?
- what does “aura necrotic” do?
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POSSIBLE ADDITIONS

I should get an illo for the Red Contessa in the Bonds of Forced Faith mini-adventure.

Adventure Six
Map for Bum Rush encounter? It's just a building with an atrium, and the encounter might not even happen there.

Map of Cantabrilla Railhead for Burning the Midnight Oil encounter? A railhead with some tents camped around it?

Map of bug-filled goblin tunnels for Bug Hunt encounter?

Map of Throne Room for Coup Ex Machina encounter?

Map of a gnoll caravel, corvette, frigate? Or just use normal ship maps.


Adventure Seven
Map of a random apartment in Alais Primos for Cloak and Dagger encounter?

We should put the rail enclave map (used throughout Avery Coast) in the Outmatched encounter. Or at least link to it.

Random aside, the Mirsk train station is based on the real train station in Lviv. I looked at a ton of reference photos trying to make a rail yard accurate, and then a month ago I saw a photo travelogue of a guy who took a trip from Germany to North Korea by train, and he went through Lviv. It confused me for a moment how I was recognizing a train station I'd never been to. Anyway, I highly recommend going to Europe and riding the trains around.

Special map of Nighthawk-class steamship?

Of course we could have a ton more portraits for every member of the Obscurati, but that's ridiculous. Man, now I want to make ZEITGEIST Guess Who.



Adventure Eight
Illustration of Bleak Lantern Golem, showing an upgrade from the witchoil golem in adventure 2?

Map of the walls of Alais Primos?

Map of the base of the Lance of Triegenes, for tank battle?

Illustration of Kasvarina, Jierre, and Nicodemus (smoking a cigarette) standing atop the crumbling lance, discussing their plan?

Include appendix with Bonds of Forced Faith adventure, and include mention in Navras memory event of how to weave it into plot. (Also option with Amielle event.)

Illo of the 'Wriggling Dread' malice beast?


Adventure Nine
Map of the Krog Tunnel? Named after a real place in Atlanta, by the way.


Illo of draconic witchoil golem?


Adventure Ten
Map of first hivemind encounter?

Map of golem smash encounter?

Map of Forward Symposium hall?

Illo of Godmind?


Adventure Eleven
Map of the Palacio Justicia de los Huesos del Tirania Widoreva?

If we ever get an influx of about $4000, I'm going to get Jonathan Roberts, who did our Flint map, to make similar maps for other key cities. Unfortunately, he's busy these days.

Illo of at least one Vsadni. Or the carnival of doomsday cultists.

Excavating the eye map?

Map of the Cathedral of Triegenes?


Adventure Twelve

I don’t know if this is a plot hole per se, but I’m confused about some planar mechanics, and adventure 12 makes things a little fuzzier for me, so maybe some explanatory text?

What does the Axis Seal/Ritual *do*? Here’s a sampler:
- bind 8 (or so) other planets to Earth
- create a sun
- prevent planar travel

But then the entry for Apet says that it prevents planar travel. ("Planar travel beyond star system is impossible, and between worlds is limited to five minutes.”)

And at the very end of adventure 3, in the “Rupture” section, it says that Nem is the one responsible for enforcing Axis Seal’s ban on planar travel.

In adventure 10, a sidebar on the Axis Ritual says "Failing that [defeating Nicodemus], the party can just alter reality so undead can’t exist. That’s also a possibility.” - I don’t see any worlds in adventure 12 that support that strategy.

Finally, what language is the Axis Ritual (recovered in adventure 10) written in? The background of adventure 3 makes it clear that the Ancients have no written language. Who wrote down the ritual?

Also, why do you need the Axis Ritual in Alais Primos? Can’t you just ask Toteth how he did it when you meet his ghost in the middle of adventure 10 (when he’s giving you the recipe for the margarita)?

And then there’s the conflicting histories and descriptions regarding what happened with Avilona:
- Player’s Guide: Avilona is a bird, Jiese is a dragon, and Jiese is chasing Avilona wanting to eat it
- Adventure 12: Avilona is a bird, and it looks like something big caught up and ate its heart (Jiese cannot be visited to corroborate)
- Adventure 12: turns out its been like this, almost dead for a long time, and then it dies while you’re visiting? and this has no effect on its abilities when bound?
- Adventure 8: Kasavarina tried to alter the seal in the Ziggurat in Ber, and *that* caused flight magic to weaken (which gimped all the dragons)
- Adventure 1: cave holding the tree that connects to Avilona is exposed to the sea, damaging the Earth’s connection to Avilona, and *that* caused flight magic to weapon
- Adventure 6: Skyseers see a vision of Avilona’s tree collapsing, and Avilona falling into the gyre and being destroyed
- Adventure 6: Avilona has majestic spires and structures, etc. (i.e. not just a bird corpse)
- Adventure 12 appendix: Avilona has "A sky of wisps, with inert islands of floating rock drifting in feeble winds with few storms"

Here's some really random errata that I happened to notice last night when I was looking through PF stats:

In the Fey appendix in Adventure 9, it says that the Hedgehog court uses coordinated tactics in battle, but there’s no “tactics” section explaining how they would coordinate. (We just get individual-specific tactic blurbs, same as the Unseen.)

In the Rites of Rulership (also adv 9) the example for King Dukain says "(1HD 20)", which is confusing.

Below that, in Monarch of the Masses, the placement of the word “however” makes it unclear if the King always has "fast healing 10", or if that only happens after falling to 0 HP.

Jumping to Adv10, Ash Wolf’s “Critical Hits” ability refers to him as the Father of Thunder.

Also, all the fey titans list an XP value, which is out of sync with most of ZG statblocks (which leave it out, since this campaign doesn’t do XP).

Jumping to Adv11, some things with Esurientes’ statblock, not all of which might be actual typos:
- is “Immune: emotion” a thing?
- his “constant - fire shield (warm)” isn’t reflected in his Defensive Abilities line
- why can’t he be tripped? that’s usually reserved for creatures without legs (like snakes); for being a heavy quadruped, he should merely get a bonus vs trip
- what does being Swallowed Whole do to you? Under Devouring Essence, it makes it sound like it’s pretty bad news, but only the benefits are listed, no mention of ongoing fire / negative energy / crushing damage
- Recovery isn’t listed in the Defensive Abilities line (fey titans who have a similar ability list theirs)
- if Esurientes is under the effects of multiple applicable effects, can he chose which ones he is trying to Recover from in a given round, or is it first-in-first-out?
- Impure Flame says to divide out all fire damage into fire+unholy. Some attacks already do this (Death Throes, Pyroclastic Vomit).
- Pyroclastic Vomit seems very weak compared to his other attacks, so I’m wondering if damage is a typo
- there an entry in his SQ line called “superheated” that’s not defined anywhere
- “dragon senses” is redundant and just causes an unnecessary lookup if you spell out his blindness and dark vision
- I didn’t actually check any math, I was just reading up on cool abilities, because that monster is just so freaking cool. I’m sad that my party is the type that will fight tooth and nail to keep Vitus from jumping into the volcano (or throwing in Cippiano), and thus the chances of facing him are rather low. I also further confess that I was comparing him to VoR and seeing who would win in a grudge match.

Speaking of the Voice of Rot…
- he lists XP, which is nonstandard for ZG
- as a snake, he should be immune to trip
- if Rackus does his “I’ve rigged that thing to explode” trick … what does that do? I only see the rules for ramming, not the damage for blowing up
- I feel like “Recovery” should be broken into two line items. The first half (remake your saves) is distinct from the second half (rejuvenate HP and flee), so it’s easy to miss it, buried below.
- Timeless seems like a really weird metagame rules construct. I can’t imagine how I’m going to organically reveal these rules, nor justify them, outside of just stating “guys, here’s this combat’s rules trick”. Maybe some hints on making this a bit less fourth-wall-y.
- in the Titanic rules description, it says that he’s not big enough to easily move over “areas of forest or settlements”, which he’s not likely to encounter. Instead of those examples, can you mention a crashed airship, which is more likely in this scenario?
- does Ever Moving provoke AoOs?
- what does the SQ entry of “fey link” refer to?
- he has the 3/day ability to cast temporary resurrection, which has a casting time of 10 minutes. Should this be quickened?
- what does “aura necrotic” do?

Please, all battle maps in a 5' grid please....

Thanks for your work! Still a great fan of the story so far.
We've just started the part 6, so i can't comment meaningfully on the last parts.

Erratas aside, i think i could have used a recap concerning the laws of magic peculiar to Zeitgeist (including for example the limit of distance for Raise dead) and their consequences. The ban on flight is recent and any character with decent arcane knowledge must know the prevailing theories on the "why".
In general, mechanics have to be well explained. efreund says he has problems with planar mechanics for example, that's important.

Artwork is nice, but if it competes with goodies, i favor player goodies.
Meaning battle maps (with high-res files for us please ) (the ones that can be printed in scale, for example the t-rex map from part 6 is nice, but not so useful for those like me who print those maps because of its sheer size). For part 6, the throne room map would be nice, it's a big battle and a pretty definite event.
Player handouts. For example a modified player sheet for the railroad construction challenge, this one with drawing/map of the 36 miles with the important features (bridge, tunnels, fort etc...) instead of the existing (very) big picture.
Any kind of documents would be great, for example the one King Shantus give the players to allow them to take over Liss (or Gientos) construction.

A personal request: could you consider adding some ship drawings?
Not maps, just drawings. Small ships should give the basis scale (5') for the drawing length. Having them, idealy drawings of all the ships in the campaign, would let me duplicate them and simulate the various naval battles on a battle mat.
(In the same idea, an hex map of Risur and some army counters for act 3?)

Lastly, it could be nice to include the various threads that were included in the first 5 parts, but did not make it to the end.
I can only think of the 3 keyholes staff from sechim visions and Rackus scrolls, but there might be some others.

Can we get Pezarillo added to the map of Ber? (Specifically the detail-map in Revelations FTMOAMM) This implicitly tells us where the Mavisha Seal is located, and it's also important in adv6 itself, as it turns into Tinker's second home. (And I'm personally confused as to how close the Seal is to the Summer Court.)

Regarding that Ber-detail map: there is a strange visual artifact north of the eastern half of the Athras Mountains which probably shouldn't be there.

We're currently in Adventure 6, and a handout-size version of the map of Ber on page 3 would help us A LOT. My PCs are teleporting all over the place trying to arrange a coup against the Bruse, and trying to visualize all the railroads, cities, and geographic territories is a lot to ask.

Okay, so the items that have gotten the most interest for "new maps" are all Ber-themed. The throne room, the railroad challenge, and an updated national map that shows the various locations more clearly.

Handouts are also on the agenda.

Any other encounters in later adventures that you feel needed a map? As situations became increasingly epic it became more difficult to figure out just want to map. Like, if you're fighting a whole stampede in adventure 10 and traveling at a full gallop, or if there's a monster the size of a street devouring a city, what exactly do you get a map of? Still, if you have suggestions, I'll try to fulfill them.